Free Web NovelChapter 189: A Bite of Ren
Despite trying over and over to convince herself to stay calm and under control, Kestrel found things spiraling a bit out of her grip—maybe because the space around them was too tiny, and the smell in the air was overly sweet.
When they first met, Ren was calm and serious, but he quickly became all mixed up after Kestrel kissed him.
He looked so cute reacting this way. At this moment, Kestrel could practically hear the storm of thoughts inside his head:
"Where am I? What just happened? What should I do now?"
"How should I be reacting..."
"I think I might be losing it."
Later, Ren seemed to lose track of his thoughts, a blend of fantastic emotions lighting up like a swirling display of colors. Kestrel couldn’t figure out what was going through his head, and likely he didn’t know either, but one thing was sure: Kestrel knew he was experiencing joy.
Kestrel sensed that she was losing a bit of her self-control. Something deep inside her was waking up, urging her to ask for more, to witness more of Ren’s cute responses to her.
At this point, Kestrel abruptly remembered past events—she knew she shouldn’t dwell on such memories, but couldn’t stop herself when they popped up in her mind.
As Kestrel approached the age of maturity before, the academy regularly conducted tests on them.
"She is an aggressive beta."—When this finding was made, by the device, all the instructors staring at Kestrel had faces filled with pity and disbelief, a sort of scorn coming from deep within them, as if she had committed a terrible act.
Even Tarian and his family criticized Kestrel: "How can a beta like her find happiness with an alpha?"
A beta should be gentle and somewhat reserved, calm and caring, allowing the alpha to take charge of everything. No alpha would appreciate a dominant beta.
"Kestrel, behaving this way, you make it really tough for me to face my friends with pride."
"Who would want a beta like that?"
"No alpha would be happy with you."
"It’s really sad, you have such impressive psychic abilities, but your life seems incomplete, flawed, because you are an unusual beta."
During that period, this was the comment Kestrel heard the most. It left her kind of confused back then, since she hadn’t really done anything wrong; it was just who she was, but she was already branded as something weird.
Because she could sense other people’s feelings, she could detect the silent judgments and taunts wherever she went. Those folks staunchly believed she was a misfit, undeserving of a partner, that her beta scent would only bring misery to her mate, that no one could possibly find happiness with her.
Kestrel had believed she wasn’t bothered, but now realized that the hurt was still deeply embedded in her heart—it was Ren who eased this pain, healing this old wound.
Now Kestrel realizes that what people said might not be totally true, because at least Ren seems happy. They’ve always understood each other really well, whether it was during fights, times when they connected through their psychic abilities, or in quiet moments like this when they silently share pheromones.
In the cramped area, Ren looked really lost, breathing with his mouth hanging open. Kestrel noticed his lips, which were a bit messy, releasing a foggy breath mixed with a white mist, with his tongue quivering slightly inside.
Kestrel softly nibbled on the end of that tongue, causing Ren to momentarily forget how to breathe.
"Don’t forget to breathe," Kestrel told him gently.
Ren was utterly overcome by the kiss, becoming like gooey pudding, and even forgot the basic act of breathing.
Ren was the person Kestrel got along with best, her greatest rock, the strongest alpha she had encountered, and also the kindest individual. Right now, he seemed on the verge of breaking down, deeply affected by someone’s actions, sparking his very private emotions and exposing a super cute and sad look.
Kestrel felt a bit lucky, happy that Ren was with her, so she could at least stop him from feeling hurt.
Kestrel did her best to keep herself in check, trying to be as gentle as she could. She carefully loosened his tightly held fingers, taking off the thin black gloves, revealing palms that were sweaty and as hot as a fiery iron.
She intertwined her fingers with his, which he gripped a bit too firmly, almost too much to control, as if he wanted to crush something.
Kestrel bore it silently, but Ren noticed soon enough and let go of her hand. That finger rose, softly touching Kestrel’s flowing long hair.
Even though he was very stiff, his finger movements were careful, slightly shaky at the ends, reaching into strands of Kestrel’s hair. The warm fingertips met the cool hair, seeming uncertain, and touched it once more...
Now, the thoughts buzzing in his head were all muddled, blending into a kind of loud buzz, with the deep parts of his psychic landscape all shaking. The sea plants were blooming, the corals turned a lively red, tiny groups of fish darting around. Warm water spurted from the ocean floor, causing the water to stir up.
Everything seemed to be falling apart, but Ren still made sure to control how hard he touched, scared that his massive strength might injure Kestrel, not wanting to misuse it even a little, responding only with the most gentle contact.
Kestrel recalled the different sides of him she had seen. The way he looks when he smiles, his sad face, the fierce expression, the range of emotions from angry to aloof... she remembered all those visuals very clearly, but none were more captivating than his current face, marked with signs of strain, yet forcefully holding back.
Kestrel kind of wanted to know what her own face looked like at this time.
She had traveled far and wide, exploring jungles, deep canyons, towering cliffs, and the bottom of the ocean, encountering hungry wolves in the woods, impassive giant sharks in the deep sea, and hawks on cliffs closely watching their next meal... She had observed the intense gaze of natural predators locking onto their prey, and she guessed she might be displaying a similar look right now.
Something deep and ancient within her was encouraging her to show her aggressive side, to stretch out her limbs that felt like tendrils, to unleash her strongest psychic powers, to slowly overpower the being in front of her, to fully absorb it.
She felt a growing desire to act even more wildly, to wreak havoc, to cause ruin, to perform the most horrifying actions. She was aware that Ren was not completely aware of his surroundings, making him vulnerable to her.
Within Ren, a kind of flame was raging uncontrollably, similar to the fiery energy they exchanged during their psychic grooming sessions. That intense heat was now influencing her too.
Kestrel kept her tendrils in check, preventing them from grabbing onto him. She observed the person in front of her, a glimpse of intense golden light flickering deep within her eyes. But, her hands, her limbs, her psychic abilities remained still.
This might be her first real lesson in self-control. She kept telling herself, "He isn’t acting this way by choice, he was pushed into this condition. Right now, I’m the only one fully aware between us. Stay steady. Don’t cross the line." frёewebηovel.cѳm
"—But how can I stay calm when he’s like this?"
Ren’s fingers were softly playing with Kestrel’s long hair, very delicately. His mouth and tongue felt super hot, everything about him seemed like it was on the verge of melting. Yet, the way he looked at Kestrel was akin to a cold brook beneath a glacier, mixed with a touch of sadness. He felt disgraced inside, reluctant to show his vulnerable and defeated state at such a moment, especially under the scrutinizing eyes of numerous foes on the battlefield.
His urge had already gone beyond control, yet he continued to resist strongly, his gestures tender and comforting as he touched Kestrel’s hair, refusing to unleash the potent force of an alpha, entrusting the control over to Kestrel.
Kestrel noticed her own sweat dripping, sensing a metallic taste in her mouth. It wasn’t from Ren; she had accidentally bitten her own lip.
The pain brought her back a bit, helping her manage her primal urges, intense defenses, and harmful wishes. She understood she couldn’t, and didn’t want to exploit the situation at this juncture.
Ultimately, she just reached out and slightly assisted Ren.
Ren shut his eyes.
The ocean waves rolled gently, a ruby-like sun fell into the deep sea, transforming the untouched waters into a captivating red shade—it was such a stunning view. Kestrel somewhat hoped to remain in this ocean indefinitely.
She bent down and tenderly kissed the quivering lashes of the alpha, wiping away the tears that lingered there.
