Free Web NovelChapter 87: I Sell Pig Trotters
Mary Jane Dawson left the church behind and began to waddle her way towards Shadow Spire Citadel with the intention of using her charming body to lure Duke Fate Grimsever into obeying her. Mary Jane thought she could trick him into going to the meeting of the lords alone, making it easier for him to be killed.
Mary Jane smiled at the various men on the street as they all spat their food and various drinks out of their mouths upon seeing her walk by, wondering what the hell she was.
Mary Jane was excited. This kind of reaction never gets old. The look of "envy" others throw her way is one of the reasons she loves being the saintess. ƒree𝑤ebnσvel.com
Mary Jane had to stop for a moment to catch her breath, not used to walking so much in a single day. As she continued to walk, someone called out.
"Fresh pig trotters here! Get your fresh pig trotters!"
Mary Jane’s face did a one hundred and eighty-degree turn as she saw some delicious-looking pig trotters being sold.
With a single swipe of her robed hand, she wiped the grease from her face and smiled, walking over to the food vendor. Mary Jane did not even stop to glance at the yellow grease stain that was now on her sleeve.
After she walked up to the food vendor, Mary Jane pulled out a few silver coins from her coin purse and looked at the vendor, saying,
"I will take every single pig trotter that you have."
The pig trotter vendor looked at the young woman in front of him and nearly jumped out of his skin in fright. Then he said to her,
"What the hell are you?"
Mary Jane’s face turned slightly red as she grew embarrassed at being recognized for her world-renowned beauty. So with a pep in her step, she said to this man with a smile on her bearded face,
"I know that my beauty can cause the downfall of nations, sir, but I am spoken for already. You’re looking at the future Queen of the kingdom of Westridge."
The man’s mouth hung open for a second. Then he thought perhaps his daughter was right and he should stop drinking so much during the day. There is no way that someone this ugly could really exist, right?
Taking a deep breath, the man said to this woman,
"I’m looking at someone who is delusional is what I’m looking at."
Mary Jane had a look of shock on her face as this man called her delusional just because she said she would not return his feelings.
This man turned out to be so relentless in his pursuit of her body and heart.
With a slight blush on her pimpled face, Mary Jane said to the pig trotter vendor,
"Sir, your dedication to capture my heart is praiseworthy. But I’m sorry to tell you for a second time that I’m spoken for already. Now, how about you give me those delicious pig trotters that you are selling?"
The dumbfounded vendor only nodded as he held out a cup for this thing in front of him to put her money into. Then, using a stick that he kept for situations just like this, he poked a bucket full of pig trotters towards the she-thing in front of him.
Mary Jane began to eat the hot and greasy pig trotters with gusto. Then she looked at the now-stunned pig trotter salesman in front of her and with a smile that could scare the undead back into their graves, she said,
"Sir, this food is truly a divine miracle that the goddess Vespera has blessed me, her humble servant, with today. Oh great and wise goddess, enjoy some of these pig trotters from your humble servant."
The street vendor looked at the "woman" in front of him and said with a serious face,
"Lady, are you stupid? Did someone or something hit you in the head one too many times as a child? Because there are places you can go to receive special care for things like that. They will feed you all the food you want and you get to live in a nice padded room. With your very own special white coat that you get to dance around in like a little chicken. If you’re good, then these men in white might even give you a few special pills that will make you very happy, but you may drool a lot afterward from what I’m told."
Hearing about this mysterious place with fluffy walls and unlimited food intrigued Mary Jane. She has never been to a place that gives out happy pills.
She wondered if they would make her even more beautiful than she already is. So with determination in her eyes, Mary Jane asked the pig trotter vendor, freewēbnoveℓ.com
"Can these happy pills make me even more beautiful than I already am?"
The man scratched his head in confusion as he said to Mary Jane,
"Honestly, they can’t possibly make you look any worse than you already are. So sure, they will help you look like the city guards, maybe."
Mary Jane continued to eat her trotters as she recalled the female guards she has seen all over the city. Those women’s beauty is already nothing compared to her own, so she saw no need for these pills if that was all they could do for her.
No one seemed to notice that a few of the pig trotters were disappearing into thin air.
Eaten up by some powerful and greasy goddess as she counted her shiny treasures like some kind of ungraceful dragon wannabe that Asmodeus would never be caught dead hanging around with.
With a smile on her face, Mary Jane made up her mind and cast a divine blessing on this man in front of her as a reward for his efforts in pursuing her and even recommending a way she can look even more beautiful. So Mary Jane said,
"Thank you so much for your unending affection for me, Mr. Pig Trotter vendor. As a reward, I shall bless you. Oh wise and beautiful goddess Vespera, please bless this man for his devotion to your humble and gorgeous servant."
A beam of divine light lit up the sky and came down on the pig trotter vendor. The next thing the man knew, his fit upper body suddenly began to bulge as a large pot belly formed on him within seconds.
A kid on a nearby street corner pointed at the man and said to his mommy,
"Mommy, when I grow up like that man, can I be a fat pig vendor too?"
The child’s mother slapped her son on the head and said to him,
"Hell no, you can’t become a fat pig vendor. I knew that goddess Vespera was no good. You know what? I don’t care what others say. I’m taking you to that nice new church that has recently popped up that worships the mighty Phoenix Lord. Come on, let’s get out of here. That woman’s stupidity is contagious."
