Free Web NovelChapter 141: Anger and Doubt
Ryan’s POV
The thing was, Ryan Terrell was a businessman at heart. Even with his private life falling apart and him constantly feeling as though his emotions were going to overwhelm him, Ryan’s business mind never completely shut off, it was why he was currently in the meeting that he was in. He had decided to take one of the problems that he was currently having and turn it into a way to make a lot of money.
"Are you certain that you can design punching bags that can withstand not only frequent use, but excessive force as well,"
The old man on the other side of the desk scratched at his beard before he nodded.
"Of course. I have been coming up with ideas for a durable product for many years now. I have just never had the funding to try it out. But now is seems I will be able to bring my creations to life," His soon to be business partner’s eyes lit up as he spoke of his ideas, and Ryan took that as a good sign. It was always good to have someone who got excited when thinking about their own product.
Looking down at the old man’s sketches and seeing all of the calculations that he had scribbled down next to the drawings, things like thickness, tensile strength and the like.
Ryan found that he liked what he saw very much. Not only did the man love what he did, he was also very studious.
"I will have my lawyers reach out to you by the end of the day. May this be the beginning of a long a profitable business relationship,"
"I look forward to working with you as well," The old man said, smiling so wide Ryan could see the gap where a tooth should have been on the side of his mouth. Standing, the two of them shook hands, and said their goodbyes.
An hour later Ryan was back in his penthouse, watching with a dejected look on his face as yet another punching bag made its way to the garbage pile.
Hopefully, once his new business venture took off, such a thing would no longer be happening to him. He would be able to attack with everything he had and not have to stop in order to replace a damaged bag.
After wiping away the sweat on his brow, Ryan looked down at his damaged knuckles. With all of the punching that he had been doing. It was a miracle that he had not broken skin, but even so, he knew that if he did not apply a balm, he would be getting very dark bruises. So he moved to do just that.
Seconds later, Ryan was seated on his preferred bench, the balm that he was applying, burning his knuckles as it did his job. Doing breathing exercises, Ryan found himself thinking in order to get his mind off the pain.
Unfortunately for him, his thoughts brought a different kind of pain, the emotional kind, he found himself hurting and silently cursing while thinking less than pleasant things about Vivian Rose.
In a way he had preferred it when he had thought that she’d ended things with him because she had been toying with him all along.
Now he knew that that woman had actually believed that he would cheat on her. That he willingly go out there and risk losing the best thing that had happened to him in years.
Just how pitiful was she, had she really no idea how gorgeous she was. How she made him feel?!
How could she sell herself short like that!
His hand balling into a fist at the thought of Vivian believing that she was a lesser being than Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth, Ryan forced himself to intensify his breathing exercises until he calmed down.
Getting worked up would not help matters at all.
Unfortunately though all thoughts that involved Vivian Rose ended up making Ryan incredibly angry. Whether he was angry at her, or on her behalf, he had no idea. He was just so mad!
Turning all of that rage on himself, so that it had a clear place to go, Ryan found it easier to breathe.
It was actually kind of pathetic. Even though they were now nothing to each other. He still could not stand the thought of being mad at Vivian, but he was just fine with being angry with himself.
He was livid that he had not tried to dig deeper and find out why Vivian had ended things.
He was upset that even now he could not find the courage to tell his grandfather everything.
He was mad at Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth for poisoning his relationship with Vivian.
Anger, anger, anger,...it was all around Ryan and within him as well. But in the end that did not change anything.
He and Vivian Rose were no longer a thing, and Ryan’s heart still hurt because of that.
***
Even with all of the rage that he was feeling, there was another emotion that Ryan did not wish to acknowledge. But the feeling would not give him the satisfaction of letting him ignore it...and that emotion was doubt.
The way that both he and Vivian had handled things, had led to the demise of their no strings attached arrangement. But what if that was exactly what Vivian had been looking for all along?
What if that was why she had not confronted him about Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth? She should have been on his case as soon as she had met Gwendolyn, but she had stayed quiet.
What if the entire time she had just been looking for a reason to end things?
What if in her heart of hearts she had already known that Ryan was not the man for her.
What if he found it in himself to approach Vivian and actually talk things out the way that Mark wanted him to do. Only to find out that Vivian truly did not want to be with him. Having always been somebody who was very confident in himself. freewebnσvel.cøm
Ryan was finding that he did not like this feeling of not trusting his own instincts at all. He was scared, that was where all of the ’what ifs’ were coming from and he just could not shake them. freewebnovel.cσ๓
Doubt really was an awful thing. Looking over at the fallen sand of the recently destroyed punching bag, Ryan wondered if he could just bury himself in it and disappear.
Sighing at the impossibility of such a wish, he finished applying his soothing balm and left the gym, hoping that his anger and doubt would not follow him out, they did.
