Free Web NovelChapter 140: Murderous Thoughts
Vivian’s POV
In a development that should not have shocked her at all. Her first awful meet-up with Bryce had spawned even more awful meetings between the two of them. freewёbnoνel.com
Each time they went out to either have coffee, or to just hang out in the park, Bryce got worse and worse. Vivian had no idea why the man was amping up his attacks on her and she did not care.
All that she had to do was be there and endure her interactions with him. Having done that for years, she was a pro at that. Each thinly veiled insult, every snide comment. Vivian took it all in and rolled with it. Reminding herself that she deserved that for not being able to realize the difference between a good man and a bad one.
Had she found Gwendolyn at Bryce’s place. There would have been no doubt in her mind that the woman really had slept with Bryce. In fact he probably would have been shouting it out for all to hear. But that was not the kind of man that Ryan Terrell was. Upon finding that woman in his penthouse she should have questioned. Instead of letting past hurts lead her, she should have known that Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth was not telling the truth.
But she had chosen to believe the other woman, and because of that, Ryan was gone.
Ryan, who had wanted her as a girlfriend, his official lady.
All that she should have done way back then, was to believe in Ryan and his loyalty to her. Had she done that she would not have had to deal with Bryce again.
But Vivian had let her insecurities rule her, and now she was back to being her ex’s verbal punching bag. Even though she took their outings as punishment that she needed to remind herself of the mistake that she had made. Vivian was still not so far gone that she was back together with the man.
No matter how many times he tried to steer conversation topics into something that looked vaguely romantic, Vivian always resisted. All that she wanted from him was for him to be his usual rude and uncaring self. She did not need fake love... she could not take it. Especially now that she knew what it was like to have a man genuinely care about her.
Keeping with the theme of Bryce taking her to fast food joints and wanting her to eat an excessive amount. The two of them were currently in a pizzeria. With Bryce complaining loudly about the fact that instead of eating her pizza, Vivian was simply picking at the toppings.
"Come on Vivian, if you are going to eat that, you might as well just munch on air. Both of us know that you have not gotten to the size that you are by eating small amounts. Stop holding back for my sake," The little that she had managed to swallow feeling as though it were turning to ash in her throat. Vivian, coughed into her napkin and stared blankly at Bryce.
What had she ever seen in this man? She could not help but remember the time when Ryan had taken her to an expensive restaurant and had allowed her to eat his food without complaint. Bryce was not even on the same level. He was so far below the gentleman that Ryan was that it was actually pitiful...what a small man.
Unaware of what thoughts she was having about him. Bryce drank loudly from his straw. Then he started going on and on about a marathon that he was preparing for. Talking in detail about things that once upon a time Vivian would have at least pretended to show interest in. But she just did not care anymore. While he was talking, a woman walked past, and Vivian watched Bryce’s eyes move to her. His gaze zeroed in on the poor unsuspecting woman’s behind and he actually licked his lips.
In the past seeing him openly admire other women while belittling her had made Vivian feel bad. But now she could not even summon irritation. She did not care.
For a few months she had been with a man who looked at Vivian, and only Vivian. No matter what she was wearing, (or not wearing) he had looked at her like a tasty morsel he wanted to devour, and he had done so... many times, in many different positions.
After having all of Ryan’s attention on her, she did not feel a thing when Bryce treated her like furniture. They were not boyfriend and girlfriend, and to be perfectly honest, they were not even friends.
They were just two strangers forcing things.
Taking his eyes away from the woman who had just passed by. Bryce looked over at Vivian. His eyes going wide when he realized that he had been caught staring. But instead of trying to apologize as most other men would have done, a sneer overcame his face.
"If you put more effort into how you looked, you know, things like watching what you eat and working out regularly. You too would be looked at like that," Bryce said harshly and Vivian blinked at him.
Deep inside of her, the feeling that had first made itself known at their first fast food restaurant bloomed in her heart. An ancient mechanism coming alive is the gears finally began to move.
’I do not deserve this. I really don’t,’ Vivian thought as she finally acknowledged the love that she had for herself.
Self love, how wonderful it was, allowing herself to feel it instantly had her feeling lighter.
’No matter what I have done, or how awful I have been. It cannot possibly be a transgression that needs to be righted by me exposing myself to somebody so awful,’ The second thought joined the first and along came a third.
’Ryan would never have treated me this way,’ With everything else in her mind drowned out by those three new thoughts. Vivian sat through the rest of the meal with Bryce. Silently wondering what it said about her that she was seriously contemplating shoving the rest of her uneaten pizza down Bryce’s throat and watching him choke on it.
