Free Web NovelChapter 401: Chapter 399: Instigation
Dinner was at the Sun Family’s home. It was a large group, and Sun Jiaming, Li Zhi, and Dingzi drank quite a bit.
Gu’er looked at Sun Jiaming lying on the bed. His eyes were closed and his face was slightly flushed. If she got close, she could smell the alcohol on his breath.
Gu’er fetched some water, wrung out a washcloth, and wiped Sun Jiaming’s face. Once she had tidied up, she turned off the light. The moment she got into bed, she was pulled into an embrace.
She initially thought Sun Jiaming would use the alcohol as an excuse to get intimate with her, but he didn’t. He just held her, silent for a long time.
’Maybe Sun Jiaming is just drunk,’ Gu’er thought. Nestled in his arms, she felt very safe, and she slowly started to drift off.
Just as she was hovering in that space between dream and reality, she suddenly heard Sun Jiaming whisper next to her ear, "Gu’er, in your dream, what was Zhou Mei’s cousin like?"
"Zhou Mei’s cousin? I heard that after he came back from the army, he made something of himself in the city. He later bought a house there, built a big house for his family back in the village, and married a city girl. He was quite a success. Everyone in the village was pretty envious whenever he was mentioned."
Gu’er answered him subconsciously, without even thinking.
She heard no reply from Sun Jiaming for a long time. She was about to drift off again, but for some reason, she suddenly snapped wide awake.
"Why are you suddenly asking about this?"
Gu’er opened her eyes.
"It’s nothing, I was just asking. Gu’er, was Li Zhi really not in your dream?"
Sun Jiaming asked, absentmindedly stroking Gu’er’s hair.
"No. In the dream, my parents didn’t come looking for me, so I never went to the city. That’s why I never met Li Zhi or Dingzi."
As Gu’er spoke, she had a nagging feeling that something was wrong. She thought of the man who came looking for Sun Jiaming for a drink today. ’Who was he?’
"Jia Ming, who was that man who came looking for you for a drink today? He looked a little familiar, but I can’t recall who he is."
Gu’er sensed something was off with Sun Jiaming. ’Why is he asking about Zhou Mei’s cousin, and Li Zhi too? He’s never been suspicious of me and Li Zhi. Why is he asking these questions today?’ The mention of Zhou Mei’s cousin sparked a thought. ’Could the man who came to see him today have been Zhou Mei’s cousin?’
Gu’er couldn’t remember what Zhou Mei’s cousin looked like. It had been too long. In her past life, she had only seen him once or twice from a distance and had long since forgotten his face.
"It was Zhou Fugui, Zhou Mei’s cousin."
Sun Jiaming didn’t hide it.
"Oh, no wonder I didn’t recognize him. What did he want with you? How did he know we live here? We never had any dealings with him before."
Gu’er tried her best to keep her tone calm, pretending to be unconcerned. In reality, she was a little nervous. She didn’t know what this Zhou Fugui had said to Sun Jiaming to make him act this way.
"It was nothing much. He’s in the city now, said he’s running a small business here. He heard from people back in the village that we were living here, so he came to find me. He said that since we’re all from the same village and now in the city, we should look out for each other."
Sun Jiaming said in a low voice, as if he were just making small talk with Gu’er.
If Gu’er didn’t know Sun Jiaming so well, she wouldn’t have sensed anything was wrong. But she knew he had only told her part of the story. There was definitely something he was leaving out. ’What could it be?’
"Gu’er, do you really not want to have children?"
Sun Jiaming asked another question while Gu’er was lost in thought.
A buzz went through Gu’er’s mind. She knew something was wrong, and now she knew why. It was all in Sun Jiaming’s last question. He had never asked her about having children before. Every time Cao Qiu and Chen Fengjiao brought it up, Sun Jiaming would always step in to shield her. Afterward, he would comfort her, telling her not to worry, that having a child was up to fate. He’d say they would have one whenever it happened, that he wasn’t in a hurry, and that she shouldn’t feel pressured. He even said that not having one for a couple of years was fine, as it would give them two good years together. Otherwise, if they had a child, she would be busy taking care of it and wouldn’t have time for him. But today, he was asking her this directly. How could she not be suspicious?
Sun Jiaming felt Gu’er’s body tense up in his arms, and a pang of heartache went through him. ’What kind of hang-up does Gu’er have about children?’
"What are you trying to say?"
Gu’er’s voice was a little strained.
Sun Jiaming froze. He hadn’t expected this reaction from Gu’er. He fell silent, feeling the woman in his arms grow increasingly stiff. He understood now. Gu’er definitely had some kind of issue with having children; otherwise, she wouldn’t be this tense.
"When Zhou Fugui came looking for me for a drink today, he asked me about your relationship with Li Zhi. At first, I ignored him, but then he told me that on our wedding day, someone saw you and Li Zhi hugging somewhere private. I got angry right away and told him to stop talking nonsense and watch his mouth. But he said he could find the person to corroborate it, that they saw it with their own eyes. He said the reason there’s been no ’news’ since we got married is because your heart isn’t with me at all. That you don’t want to have a child because you have Li Zhi in your heart and don’t want to have my, Sun Jiaming’s, child. What he said was ugly, so I warned him to shut his mouth. I told him that even though we’re from the same village, there are some things you can say and some things you can’t. I told him we should keep our distance from now on, and then I came back."
Sun Jiaming told Gu’er the truth. He didn’t want a rift to form between them.
"So you suspect me and Li Zhi? Even though you warned him, you believed what he said in your heart?"
Gu’er’s voice was cold. This was the first time, the very first time, she had felt her heart go cold.
"No. If I believed him, I would have buried his words in my heart and never told you. I have never doubted you and Li Zhi. If I wasn’t the one in your heart, you could have easily chosen Li Zhi back then. After all, he had feelings for you; you didn’t have to marry me. But you didn’t. I know that from beginning to end, your heart has only had me in it, no one else. You and Li Zhi are innocent. You just see him as a friend, an older brother. I have never doubted that for a second. The reason I’m having these thoughts is because I remembered you asking me what I would do if you couldn’t have children your whole life. And I also thought about how, every time we’re done... no matter how tired you are, you always go and wash up. I... I... I’m afraid that you simply don’t want to have a child at all, but I don’t know why. Gu’er, can you tell me? If you have a reason, as long as it’s a good one, then I won’t want a child either. We can just live our whole lives, the two of us."
Sun Jiaming’s voice was low, but in it, Gu’er could hear a hint of confusion, a hint of uncertainty, and a hint of fear.
She knew she had misunderstood Sun Jiaming. He wasn’t suspicious about her and Li Zhi; he was concerned about the issue of having a child. It seemed he knew she didn’t want one, but he didn’t know why. If a woman loves a man, how could she not want to bear his child? So why was she deliberately avoiding it? It was no wonder Sun Jiaming was overthinking things; anyone in his position would. The fact that he could be so honest with her, and even promise that he would give up on having children for his entire life as long as she had a valid reason... that was enough to prove how he truly felt about her.
