Home On a Variety Show and Getting Carried to an Easy Win by Fluffies Chapter 50: Not Dead? Is That It?
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Chapter 50: Chapter 50: Not Dead? Is That It?

"Who gives a damn about his underwear! Stop playing dumb! You’d better hope your big brother sends us those research results!"

"Otherwise, just wait for someone to come collect your corpse!"

’Big brother?’ Gu Zhao was baffled.

’So I have a big brother, huh? But... who is he??’

"You really kidnapped the wrong person! I’m not even close with my big brother! You’d have better luck kidnapping my fourth brother instead!"

’It’s better you than me, Fourth Brother! Sorry about this!’

"Hurry up and let me go, then turn around and go grab my fourth brother!"

The kidnappers sneered. "You think we’re that easy to fool?"

The kidnapper at the wheel even gave a wicked smirk. "I’m surprised a kid your age is so cunning. Trying to get me to stop the car? Turn around?"

"You want to get my license revoked! Dream on!"

Gu Zhao blinked in confusion. ’Wait, is that not how it works?’

’You’re a kidnapper who gets into car crashes... How could you possibly still have a license?’

"Misters, where are you taking me?" Gu Zhao wiggled her body, which was tied up like a fish. "My arms are so sore, Mister."

"Don’t even think you’re getting any information out of us!" The man in the passenger seat glared viciously at Gu Zhao. "Make another sound," he threatened, "and I’ll gag you!"

Gu Zhao sighed. "You people are so..."

"...with a stinky sock," the kidnapper finished quietly.

Gu Zhao: ...

’I’ve been a devious little villain my whole life; I never thought I’d meet such devious grown-ups.’

The threat of a stinky sock was a humiliation too great to bear. Gu Zhao decided to give them the silent treatment!

’What a bunch of rude people! They weren’t worthy of speaking with her!’

She didn’t know how long they drove. Just as Gu Zhao was about to doze off, the car came to a stop.

"Get out!" The car door was flung open, and a hideous-looking man yanked forcefully at Gu Zhao.

Tiny Gu Zhao was yanked right out of the car. With her legs bound together, she looked like she was cosplaying a mermaid.

’Pathetic, helpless, and also... curious...’

"Wow, this place is falling apart," Gu Zhao remarked, looking at the dilapidated buildings with disdain.

All around were dilapidated stone troughs. This place must have been a long-abandoned livestock farm.

It was situated halfway up a mountain, surrounded by dense vegetation.

"Why aren’t you guys like the kidnappers in novels? You don’t even have an abandoned warehouse! Bad review!"

Nobody paid Gu Zhao any mind. They hid the car amongst the vegetation.

Then, one of them roughly tossed Gu Zhao into the ruined building. The moment she entered, dust flew everywhere, and startled rats scurried for cover.

"Fuck, who the hell picked this place!" one of the kidnappers exclaimed with disgust.

"Don’t be so picky. Once we’re done with this job, we’ll be living the high life anyway." Another two men walked in.

Perhaps disgusted by the ubiquitous cobwebs and dust, they left to go smoke outside after only a moment.

Gu Zhao was left all by herself inside the building.

’What? Don’t I have any human rights?!’

"Hey! You’re supposed to be ransoming me for money! I’m your meal ticket! Can’t you be a little nicer to your meal ticket?!"

There was no reply.

"Are you going to live here, too?" A little rat head poked out of a hole in the corner of the wall, looking at Gu Zhao with curiosity.

"For now, yes," Gu Zhao replied.

Seeing that the two-legged whelp wasn’t hostile and even deigned to speak to them, more rats scurried out and surrounded Gu Zhao.

A spider also lowered itself on a silk thread, swaying as it met Gu Zhao’s eyes.

Gu Zhao stared back at them. "Could you do me a favor?"

"What favor?" the rats asked curiously. The spiders listened attentively as well.

"Are there any stray cats or dogs nearby? Or do you guys have a big family?"

The rats instantly scurried back a few steps, their beady eyes wide with shock.

’She’s scouting! And we’re supposed to help her? So she can exterminate our entire clan?’

’Humans are terrifying!’

When they remained silent, Gu Zhao added, "Well, have you seen any other animals? Like, snakes or something."

The rats felt a chill run down their necks. One little mouse burst into tears. "Sister Xiangxiang, do we really have to die?"

Gu Zhao: ’??’

"Don’t be scared. As long as you don’t try to live in my house, I won’t kill you. I just want you guys to call some other animals to come help me."

The rats let out a collective sigh of relief.

A brave rat with half a tail missing stepped forward. "I know a snake. It doesn’t eat rats, it just likes to catch me and then let me go. I’ll go get it!"

With that, it scurried off. Gu Zhao thought it was incredibly noble. And then... it didn’t come back.

The rat didn’t come back, but two more cars pulled up outside.

They hid the cars. The driver of one got out and hauled a similarly bound boy out of the back seat.

"Where did you snatch him from? Don’t forget our objective here! If anything goes wrong, we’ll all be eating a bullet!" a big, burly man complained, clearly displeased.

"What’s there to be afraid of! You’re such a damn sissy. If you’re going to be scared of this and that, you might as well go crawl back into your mother’s womb!" the man holding the boy shot back, just as irritated.

’He really despised the guy. They were already in this deep, yet he was still so hesitant, afraid of every little thing.’

"Boss, just listen to Second-in-command. We’re already in this deep, so what’s there to fear? Fortune favors the bold, but the timid starve to death," the others added in agreement.

The man they called "Boss" snorted, shot Second-in-command a glare, and walked off to the side to smoke.

The second-in-command gave a disdainful laugh, asked for the boy’s family phone number, and then violently tossed him into the building.

The rats went back into hiding.

After tossing the boy inside, the man left without a second glance.

The place was so filthy, not even a dog would want to stay there.

But the hostages did.

Hostages have no rights.

The boy lay motionless where he’d been thrown.

"Are you still alive?" Gu Zhao asked, looking him over. ’He looks about seven or eight.’

’She wasn’t too happy to admit that he seemed taller than her.’

The boy ignored her, remaining exactly where he had landed.

So Gu Zhao decided to ignore him too. ’Anyone can give the silent treatment!’

The rats crept out again.

Gu Zhao’s arms were aching. "Come chew through these ropes for me," she told them.

The rats obediently began to gnaw on the ropes.

The boy on the floor kept his eyes closed. Hearing Gu Zhao’s words, he thought the little girl must be an idiot.

Before long, the ropes snapped, and Gu Zhao was finally free!

She rubbed her aching arms and crept over to the broken window to peek outside.

’Seven kidnappers, and they have guns!’

They were huddled together, smoking and chatting.

Gu Zhao sighed. ’This is so hard. I haven’t even gotten to enjoy the perks of being rich, so why am I already suffering the consequences?’

’I don’t even have any money, but I’m already being treated like a cash prize!’

Hearing footsteps, Feng Tingyue’s eyes snapped open. He twisted his body to roll over, then froze in astonishment.

"You..." ’How did you get free?!’

The next second, a hand clamped over his mouth.

"Not a word, or I’ll stuff your mouth with a stinky sock!" Gu Zhao glared at him fiercely.

Feng Tingyue blinked his bewildered eyes and nodded.

Gu Zhao released him.

She scanned their surroundings. Just then, the rat with the half-tail returned from its mission to get help.

It was followed by a snake.

Gu Zhao’s eyes lit up. ’A triangular head!’

’Short tail, patterned scales! A pit viper!’

"Sister, were you looking for me?" The pit viper stared at Gu Zhao, then slithered right up and coiled around her ankle. "Pet me, sister," it hissed affectionately.

Feng Tingyue’s eyes bulged. Then he squeezed them shut and fainted dead away.

Gu Zhao patted its triangular head. It was cool to the touch.

"Are there more of you?"

The pit viper nodded. "There are more than a dozen. There are other snakes, too, but they’re not as pretty as me! Always holding their heads up."

"Cobras?" Gu Zhao guessed.

The pit viper thought for a moment, as if it had heard the people at the foot of the mountain use that name. "Probably! The two-legged beasts down the mountain don’t like them."

"Go! Bring them here!"

「Meanwhile」

Gu Xulin woke up in the hospital and saw his second older brother standing by his bed.

He glanced around but didn’t see Gu Zhao.

"Where’s Gu Zhao?!" Gu Xulin demanded, his face fraught with anxiety.

Gu Yunqi idly twirled a fountain pen. "I don’t know. She’s probably not dead."

Gu Xulin was livid. "’Not dead?’ Is that all you can say?! Then go find her!"

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