Free Web NovelChapter 4: Chapter 4: If I Had Known She Was Coming, I Wouldn’t Have Come
Have you ever seen a bot at five in the morning?
Five-year-old Gu Zhao can tell you.
She’s seen one.
Gu Zhao sat on the bed in a daze as a crowd of people aimed their "long guns and short cannons" at her, filming away.
"Hello, little one. We’re from the production team. The production team is now officially issuing you a mission."
"Please wake up your big partner quickly and let’s begin our new journey!" a staff member’s voice called out.
Only then did Gu Zhao’s soul seem to return to her body.
’It’s all coming back to me now. I remember everything!’
’I’ve been set up by the capitalists!’
Yesterday, Gu Xulin had asked her to cooperate and participate in a variety show. For Gu Zhao, who just wanted to lie around all day, the answer was of course no.
But then Gu Xulin actually told her she had to compensate him for emotional distress and lost wages!
And so Gu Zhao, who didn’t even have a single coin to her name—not even a piece of trash—was forced to become a child laborer.
’How wonderful,’ Gu Zhao sighed. ’So young, and already deep in debt.’
The staff member looked puzzled. ’Did she not understand?’
"Teacher Gu’s little partner? You need to go wake up your big partner," the staff member repeated.
Gu Zhao slowly crawled off the bed.
"I knooow," Gu Zhao mumbled, drifting listlessly toward the door.
[That’s literally me. Looks like she’s awake, but her soul has already checked out for a bit.]
[So cute! How old is she? Has she started losing her baby teeth already?]
[She looks so well-behaved. Looks like the production team is going to be disappointed, hahaha. No chance to prank Gu Xulin now.]
The large group followed Gu Zhao out of the bedroom. They watched as she carefully opened Gu Xulin’s door, but she didn’t go to wake him up as everyone had expected.
Instead, she tiptoed over to the wardrobe. Under everyone’s confused gazes, she pulled a black shirt out of Gu Xulin’s closet.
Gu Zhao looked at the shirt, quite satisfied. She held it up to her head, sizing it up, before finally picking two suitable spots and cutting a pair of holes with scissors.
Finally, she pulled the shirt over her head. Her eyes peeked out perfectly from the holes, allowing her to see where she was going.
She checked herself in the mirror and was more or less satisfied.
’Too bad Gu Xulin’s place doesn’t have any pantyhose. Otherwise, she could have been even more relaxed and satisfied.’
Her disguise complete, she went straight to the bedside. Staring at the still-sleeping man, she pressed her face right up to his.
Gu Xulin, half-asleep, felt something watching him. He groggily opened his eyes, only to see someone in a black mask pressed right up against him!
"Holy shit!" Gu Xulin yelped, scrambling and rolling off the bed in a panic.
He jumped off the bed and bolted out the door. After running out of the villa, he suddenly remembered there was still a little one in the house. Cursing under his breath, he hurried back inside.
As soon as Gu Xulin ran back into the house, he came face-to-face with the crew members carrying camera equipment in the hallway. Their eyes met...
Silence...
"Hello, Teacher Gu..." A staff member was the first to break the silence.
Gu Xulin took a deep breath. "Where’s Gu Zhao?"
The staff member silently gestured toward Gu Xulin’s bedroom.
Gu Xulin walked in to see Gu Zhao, still wearing the black mask, sitting on his bed and swinging her short little legs.
’Don’t hit the kid, don’t hit the kid! There are outsiders here! Don’t hit her!’
"Fuck it!" He was going to hit her!
Gu Xulin strode over and snatched the little girl up.
"Gu Xulin, wha are ’oo doing!" Gu Zhao’s eyes widened in shock. Suddenly, her bottom hurt! "Ahhh, ’oo big meanie! I’m gonna wait ’til ’oo’re old an’ pull out ’oor oxygen tube!"
Gu Xulin laughed in exasperation. "In that case, I’ll spank your butt raw first!"
Gu Zhao struggled with all her might. "Ahhh, muwder!!"
Gu Zhao: Terrified!
The Crew: Wow!
The live chat went just as wild.
[Whoa, whoa, am I even allowed to watch this?! Is this a perversion of human nature or a lapse in morals?! He’s actually spanking her in public, hahahahaha!]
[Can this show really be broadcast? Director, hurry up and stop him! A child’s butt is one of the motherland’s flowers!]
[What part of her brain came up with this, pretending to be a thief, hahaha. It seems the lack of pantyhose at Gu Xulin’s place really limited the kid’s performance, hahaha.]
[Production team, add some special effects in post-production: Photoshop the character for "danger" onto Zhaozhao’s butt, and then add the BGM from ’A Spray of Plum Blossoms’.]
[I’m actually dying of laughter! What is this, pure rivalry with zero family affection?]
Seeing Gu Zhao’s pitiful, pleading gaze, a staff member’s heart finally softened. "Um... Teacher Gu, in front of everyone... hitting a child isn’t good."
"Yeah, yeah, this is a live broadcast. It’s so damaging to a child’s self-esteem."
Gu Xulin’s hand froze in mid-air. He lifted his head and looked at the production team member who had spoken. "What did you say?"
"Damaging to a child’s self-esteem..."
"The line before that."
"A live broadcast?"
Gu Xulin felt like dying. Gu Zhao was lying prone on his lap, clutching her bottom.
"Serves ’oo right! Fow hittin’ a kid!"
"You were embarrassed too," Gu Xulin said, unable to stand seeing her look so smug. He picked her up and tossed her onto the bed.
Gu Zhao went limp and flopped onto the bed. "I’m just a kid! It’s okay if I lose face! When I gwow up an’ outlive ’im, nobody will know!"
Everyone: ...Can you maybe not kill him? We’ll keep our mouths shut, we promise.
Gu Xulin rolled his eyes and gave her another pat on the butt. "Pack your things. We’re leaving."
Gu Zhao reluctantly went to get her suitcase.
Ten minutes later, the two of them were in the production team’s car.
...
"Is there a new mission?" The popular young actress Tang Yuexuan stood on the street with her suitcase, dressed in a haute couture dress.
Next to her stood an eight-year-old girl who looked similar to her. The little girl rested a hand on her own pastel pink suitcase, a look of disdain on her face.
"Isn’t it obvious? We’ve been dumped here."
Tang Yuexuan didn’t want to believe it. "No way..."
Just then, another car pulled up in front of them.
The two of them looked toward the car door.
Gu Xulin got out of the car, glanced at the surroundings, and frowned slightly. "What’s this all about?"
Gu Zhao hopped out of the car on her short little legs.
Tang Yuexuan’s eyes lit up when she saw them. "Hello, Teacher Gu. I’m Tang Yuexuan." She then pointed to the calm little girl beside her. "This is my younger sister, Tang Yueying."
Gu Xulin nodded in acknowledgment.
"Gu Zhao." He ruffled Gu Zhao’s hair, then disdainfully wiped his hand on her clothes.
Looking even more disgusted, Gu Zhao took the suitcase a staff member had helped carry out and went to hide by Tang Yuexuan and her sister.
The corners of Gu Xulin’s mouth turned up involuntarily, but he quickly smoothed his expression. He frowned at a production staff member. "What is this, exile?"
The staff member cleared his throat. "Teacher Gu, we have to wait for all the guests to arrive before we can announce the rules."
Gu Xulin didn’t make things difficult for the staff member, and instead went back to making things difficult for Gu Zhao.
Gu Zhao listlessly leaned against her suitcase, pretending to be asleep.
Seeing this, the Tang Yuexuan sisters didn’t try to engage them and just waited quietly for the other guests.
Soon, more cars began to arrive one by one.
Idol singer Zhong Siqi and his four-year-old brother, Zhong Mingrui.
Veteran actor Tong Jianfeng and his nine-year-old daughter, Tong Yunxin.
Gu Zhao was drifting off, on the verge of sleep, when the sound of voices startled her awake. She was instantly alert.
She wiped away some drool and looked up just as the last car pulled over.
The door opened, and a handsome man was the first to get out. Gu Zhao’s gaze met his.
The handsome man frowned, seeming extremely annoyed by Gu Zhao’s presence.
’Ten thousand ’fuck yous’ galloped through her mind.’
’How could her luck be this bad!’
’This is the variety show where the original female lead made her name! She never paid attention to the show titles in the novels she read, and on top of reading so many that they all blurred together, she really hadn’t remembered.’
’If I’d known she would be here, I wouldn’t have come!’
’It’s all Gu Xulin’s fault!’
The man who got out was Ye Zexi, the second brother of the original body’s owner from her time in the Ye Family. Of the two Ye brothers, he was the one who blindly doted on the ’true heiress’ female lead.
He stopped looking at Gu Zhao and extended a hand back into the car. A small hand rested on his, and soon a little girl in casual clothes emerged.
Ye Zuiyi. An adult soul who had transmigrated, she came with the built-in script of a group favorite!
Ye Zuiyi also saw Gu Zhao. She paused for a moment, then gave a sweet smile.
"Sister, it’s so good to see you here."
