Free Web NovelChapter 30: Chapter 30: Human, I’ll Poop to Support You
Gu Zhao went viral again.
[!!! The elephant wants to sh*t itself to death!!]
[So Ye Zuiyi stopped provoking Gu Zhao, and now Gu Zhao is starting to stir things up??]
[How the hell does she get the elephants to cooperate with her!!!! Teach me!!]
[Who did Tong Jianfeng even offend? It’s bad enough he has to come on a show to scoop poop, but then he gets dissed by a junior and flung around by an elephant. A middle-aged man’s dignity was shattered into a million pieces in that moment!]
[That fall Teacher Tong took looked painful. That was so disrespectful!]
In an instant, "Gu Zhao disrespects her senior" was trending.
Unsuspecting netizens found the clip to watch it. After seeing it, some of them joined the chorus of angry comments.
While another group instantly became her fans.
[Damn! Loving this chaotic energy!!]
When the director came to weigh the results, he was completely dumbfounded.
He saw several elephants pooping into a pile of baskets, filling one after another.
Out of poop? No problem. They’d just switch with a friend and keep going.
Even the giant panda was pooping into a basket, and the panda keeper next to it was crying his eyes out.
His precious, aloof little cub!
How did he become a sycophantic bear who, after pooping, would carry his poop over to suck up to someone!!
"Human, I’ll support you with my poop! Pet me, I’m more comfortable to pet than them!" the panda said shyly, holding up the full basket.
Gu Zhao rubbed the panda’s head. It was so soft and fluffy, very comfortable. ’No wonder my fourth brother is always patting my head.’
The Elephant King was still directing his herd to poop when he turned his head and saw!
His base was being raided!!
He immediately ran over, shoved the giant panda aside with his trunk, and then nuzzled Gu Zhao. "Little one, pet me~ I took a bath. Pandas don’t like to bathe! They’re filthy."
The giant panda’s fur stood on end in anger. "You’re the one who doesn’t like to bathe!"
The two of them argued back and forth over Gu Zhao, but like a heartless player, she just snuck away!!
No rejection! No responsibility! Just runs away when things get complicated!
"Gu Zhao!! Make them stop pooping!!" Director Guo yelled, exasperated as he watched the elephants straining to poop.
The key thing was, the zookeepers had come to him to complain!
Two people, a man and a woman, were standing beside him in zookeeper uniforms, watching the elephants with complicated expressions.
The female keeper sighed. "They really can’t poop anymore. This is almost more than they poop in a week!"
Gu Zhao guiltily touched her nose. ’Oops, I wasn’t paying attention and they pooped this much...’
After stopping the elephants from pooping anymore, she called over Zhong Siqi and the others. "Time to divide the poop! Divide the poop!"
Zhong Mingrui came running and bouncing over, his eyes full of worship for Gu Zhao. "Following Big King, we’re not even short on poop!!"
Zhong Siqi’s mouth twitched. ’Is that supposed to be a compliment?’
Seeing this, Ye Zexi ground his back teeth in fury.
Some of the poop in there was stolen from them!
"Director! Gu Zhao stole our poop!" Ye Zexi said, looking at the director angrily.
Ye Zuiyi also looked at the director, her eyes red-rimmed.
Tong Jianfeng sighed, his face full of bitterness. "I’m getting old, so old. Now even my stuff gets stolen during a task. Sigh, Xiao Xin, Daddy has let you down."
[...Okay, first of all, Ye Zexi is truly pitiful, and second... "stole our poop" HAHAHAHAHAHA.]
[I feel so bad for Ye Zuiyi. She’s a little princess doted on by her brother. It’s bad enough she has to scoop poop on a variety show, but then her poop even gets stolen.]
[Teacher Tong Jianfeng is the truly tragic one, okay? His daughter is the oldest of the kid partners, but she does nothing, just stands there hugging a little bear. He has to scoop poop all by himself, only to have it stolen.]
The director looked at Gu Zhao with a resentful gaze, but someone next to him must have said something, because his smile instantly returned.
"The show’s production team will not be providing any assistance. Whether you can complete the task successfully is all up to your own abilities."
The director was expressing his opinion tactfully. He was personally quite satisfied with the theft—conflict meant ratings!
His gaze toward Gu Zhao gained a hint of admiration. She loved to cause him trouble, but he had to admit she was a natural-born reality TV star who brought her own drama!
Ye Zexi’s expression was so dark it looked like it could drip water, and his brows were knotted together.
He looked at Gu Zhao, his gaze as sharp as ice, enough to make one’s heart shudder.
Gu Zhao herself, however, just leisurely made a silly face back at him.
Director Guo had someone briefly inspect the guests’ results. Without even needing to weigh them, he directly announced the final rankings.
Gu Zhao and Gu Xulin were first.
The Zhong Mingrui brothers and the Song Yi brothers tied for second place.
It was all poop distributed by Gu Zhao anyway.
The sisters Tang Yuexuan and Tang Yueying were in third place.
They had chosen the elephant enclosure at the beginning and were initially worried the elephants would be dangerous.
But as soon as they started, the elephants, for some unknown reason, went crazy and ran into the pool to bathe before frantically running off again.
So the two of them ended up scooping poop in an elephant enclosure... with no elephants.
The director didn’t read out the rest. There was no suspense as to which two teams were tied for last place.
Gu Zhao thought the house-selection segment would be easy. She was choosing first, so she’d definitely get a good house, right? But the director told her it was all up to luck!!
There were six pieces of paper, each with a different animal drawn on it.
Card number one had a snake, and card number two had a turtle.
Card number three, a gorilla.
Card number four, a cow.
Card number five, a parrot.
Card number six, an alpaca.
"These cards can only be chosen by the kid partners alone. The adult partners cannot interfere! Once you’ve chosen, you can go check it out," the director said with a mischievous grin.
As a kid partner, Gu Zhao chose card number three. It was only logical for her, the Monkey King, to choose a gorilla.
"Big King, Big King! Which one should I pick?" Zhong Mingrui asked, liking all the little animal cards.
"Kid partner Zhong Mingrui! Choose for yourself!" the director reminded him.
Zhong Mingrui pouted unhappily. "Oh."
He looked them over and chose the one that looked... the most delicious... the cow.
"Brother, beef is so yummy! Do you think the house will have cooked beef waiting for me to eat?" Zhong Mingrui was starting to get hungry.
Zhong Siqi looked at his younger brother with pity. "You’re dreaming."
’The director would never be that nice.’
Song Yi chose the alpaca.
Tang Yueying chose the turtle.
Ye Zuiyi and Tong Yunxin were supposed to choose together, but Tong Jianfeng told Tong Yunxin to wait.
Normally, Ye Zuiyi would have made a show of her kindness and deferred, but right now she was filled with resentment for Gu Zhao.
She was extremely annoyed. ’This plot has gone completely off the rails!’
She grabbed a card at random.
Tong Yunxin took the last one, the parrot.
With cards in hand, everyone split up to go see their houses. Gu Zhao left under the reluctant gazes of the elephants.
After everyone had left, the panda keeper panicked.
"The panda is gone!!"
Gu Zhao and Gu Xulin quickly returned to the grassy area.
Neither of them noticed a black-and-white furball secretly tailing them.
Following the picture hanging on the cabin door, the two of them found the one with the gorilla.
Gu Xulin pushed open the door and froze.
A gorilla was sitting on a small wooden stool inside the cabin, drinking from a carton of milk.
Seeing someone enter, the gorilla’s gaze fell on Gu Zhao. Its lips peeled back slightly, revealing two rows of neat teeth. "Little one, you’re so cute. Can I keep you?"
