Free Web NovelChapter 29: Chapter 29: Robbery! Hand Over the Poop
The guests all walked toward the animal enclosures with bitter expressions on their faces.
Every step they took was filled with an unspoken reluctance.
Ye Zuiyi was filled with reluctance as well. ’Last time was already so embarrassing! Why do we have to deal with poop again!’
The last time she and her brother went home, Ye’s mother had even asked with a pained look if they’d fallen into a cesspool!
Ye Zexi’s expression wasn’t much better.
[Why does everyone look so constipated? Scooping poop is a little dirty, but it shouldn’t warrant these kinds of expressions, right?]
[Did something happen after the screen went black during the last stream?! Aaaah, I’m so curious!]
[I bet five cents there’s some hidden drama! Otherwise, with that look on her face, you’d think Ye Zuiyi was heading to the gallows, hahaha!]
[Even our Monkey King looks down! What in the world happened?!]
"Which animal enclosure should we go to?" Gu Xulin asked Gu Zhao.
Zhong Siqi and the others also looked toward Gu Zhao. When it came to a task involving animals, they naturally had to shamelessly latch onto the Monkey King for support.
Gu Zhao was silent for a few seconds. "What animal’s poop doesn’t stink?"
Song Yi scratched his head, thinking hard. He had to do his best to impress Big King.
’Poop that doesn’t stink... Poop that doesn’t stink...’
He had a flash of inspiration and suddenly remembered the fragrance his brother liked!
"Big King! Whale poop is fragrant! My brother likes to wear poop."
THWACK.
He got a smack on the head.
The exasperation of having such a simpleton for a brother was written all over Song Zhe’s face. "That’s from a sperm whale, and it’s in the ocean."
Song Yi clutched his head with both hands, looking at him reproachfully. "What if you knock me stupid? You’re so unlucky already; if I get any dumber, our family is done for."
"Hit him again! Go on, Song Zhe, hit him!" Zhong Mingrui’s face was alight with excitement.
’If Song Yi gets knocked stupid, then no one will be able to compete with me for Big King’s favor!’
’I’m Big King’s most loyal subordinate!’
「One minute later.」
Zhong Mingrui was also clutching his head, staring reproachfully at Zhong Siqi.
Zhong Siqi shook his hand. ’My brother’s head is getting harder,’ he thought. ’It’s not as satisfying to hit anymore.’
’Next time, I’ll just go for his butt.’
"This task is all about quantity," Zhong Siqi mused. "The animals that poop the most would be, I think, the bears and elephants."
"The other teams will probably choose the pandas. They’re docile, and their poop doesn’t stink."
Gu Zhao’s eyes lit up! "Then let’s go to the panda enclosure and steal their poop!!"
’Steal their poop??’
Everyone fell silent. What a crude way to put it.
[Is this for real?! Who would’ve thought, who could have possibly imagined, that the Monkey King would resort to stealing poop! To think the once-great champion has fallen this far!]
[Is Gu Zhao out of her mind?! How did Gu Xulin even raise her! If she dares to steal poop today, she’ll dare to rob a bank tomorrow!]
[But stealing poop is just so mortifying, hahaha! I can’t help but laugh.]
...
「The Panda Enclosure.」
Tong Yunxin still clutched the small teddy bear, her eyes filling with delight when she saw the pandas.
A flicker of disgust flashed in Tong Jianfeng’s eyes, but it vanished in an instant, replaced by a gentle smile. He gazed at the pandas, his voice taking on a deliberately gentle and friendly tone. "These pandas are so cute."
Ye Zuiyi’s eyes went wide, and she unconsciously shuffled half a step forward, her small face alight with glee. "Brother, I heard that panda poop smells nice, like the fresh, sweet scent of bamboo. A book said their digestive system is special and their droppings can be made into bookmarks. Is that really true?"
Her tone was a mixture of childish curiosity and a sincere desire to verify what she’d read, making her seem both innocent and cleverly inquisitive.
Seeing the pandas, Ye Zexi also felt a momentary itch in his hands—an urge to pet one.
Now, hearing Ye Zuiyi’s words, he was filled with pride. ’My sister is amazing,’ he thought.
"That’s right. Does Yibao want to go find out for herself?" Ye Zexi’s gaze softened.
Ye Zuiyi looked eager to get started. "Brother, let’s have a competition to see who can collect more!"
Beaming, she took the small tools prepared by the zookeeper and went in.
Tong Jianfeng also led his daughter in to start collecting the panda droppings.
The panda droppings were mostly oval or elongated, with a fairly dry and hard texture. Fine fibers from bamboo fragments were visible on the surface, which had a natural, pale yellow-green color.
A panda lounged leisurely on a rock, watching the humans pick up its droppings.
The sun gradually climbed overhead, baking the ground until it was scorching. Bamboo shadows swayed back and forth across the fence, and the collection baskets were already more than half full.
Fine beads of sweat dotted Ye Zuiyi’s forehead, and her cheeks were flushed from the sun, yet she showed no sign of fatigue.
Just then, a commotion erupted in the distance. Ye Zuiyi looked up, and her eyes widened in shock.
Several large elephants were running straight toward them.
"What’s going on?! Have the elephants escaped??" The panda keeper was also in a state of shock.
Elsewhere, the elephant keeper stared in silence at the words written on the ground indicating they were running away.
As the elephants drew closer, everyone realized there were people on their backs.
Gu Zhao and her group were riding on the back of the lead elephant.
With the exception of Gu Xulin, everyone else’s face was alight with excitement.
Zhong Siqi couldn’t resist stealthily patting the elephant beneath him, and he was surprised to find that the animal wasn’t the least bit dirty.
He was utterly astonished.
Gu Xulin was not happy. He remembered his second brother’s words.
He didn’t want Gu Zhao to use her abilities so flagrantly again, but she simply wouldn’t listen!
"Brother? Still sulking? I know what you’re worried about, but so what? If you’re afraid of everything, you might as well just go find a coffin and climb inside," Gu Zhao said, unconcerned.
’Better to make things difficult for others than to inconvenience myself.’
’I need to figure out who my enemies are. Then I can just lead an army of animals and wipe them out.’
Gu Xulin decided to give up. ’I can’t control her. Let Second Brother deal with this headache,’ he thought.
’Anyway, I’ll just stay by her side. If worse comes to worst, we’ll go down together.’
Tong Jianfeng’s eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. Although animals had helped them last time, he had been tied up several meters away and hadn’t experienced something so confrontational.
The elephants had charged right up to them, their massive bodies making the humans seem exceptionally small.
It felt as if the elephants could trample them to death at any second.
"This is a stick-up! Hand over the poop!" Gu Zhao declared.
An elephant swung its trunk, hitting both men square on their rears. "Hmph, the little one is talking to you! Hurry up and answer her!" it snorted.
As a middle-aged actor who hadn’t worked out in a long time, Tong Jianfeng was sent sprawling to the ground with a THUD.
Ye Zexi, being strong and fit, fared better. The momentum only sent him stumbling forward a few steps.
"Gu Zhao, don’t take it too far!" Ye Zexi snarled through gritted teeth.
"Huh? What’s that? You’re thanking me? You’re welcome! Cleaning up droppings is my duty."
One of the elephants behind them glanced at the collected droppings with disdain. "Little one, this is nothing compared to what we can make. You just have to say the word, and we’ll poop for you. As much as you want, we’ll poop it out."
The elephant was full of pride. "We poop way more than they do."
Ye Zuiyi bit her lip, her head slightly bowed, her eyes simmering with suppressed hatred.
She suppressed her emotions and looked up, her eyes brimming with hurt. "This is too much! I know you hate me, little sister, but Uncle Tong and the others are innocent."
Gu Zhao completely ignored her and simply ordered the elephants, "Move!"
In the next second, the elephants used their trunks to snatch all the baskets filled with droppings.
The panda climbed up from its rock and stared at Gu Zhao.
The elephant watched it warily.
"Big sister~ Do you like the poop I made?" the panda asked, tilting its head. Its voice was soft and adorable.
