Free Web NovelChapter 21: Chapter 21: When Shit Hits the Fan
At the edge of the forest.
Several military armored vehicles rumbled down a muddy path, finally stopping at the forest’s perimeter.
The doors flew open, and fully-armed special police officers emerged like cheetahs poised to strike, forming ranks swiftly and silently.
At their leader’s command, they entered the forest in an orderly and agile fashion.
Their heavy tactical boots made dull rustling sounds as they stepped on the damp, decaying leaves.
Online.
[Why is there no news from the Monkey King yet? I wonder if the Monkey King won.]
[What Monkey King?]
[@ a few posts up, you don’t get it. It’s our code. I hope the Monkey King makes it. And my unlucky brother better be safe too, he’s so jinxed.]
[Hope the Monkey King is safe!]
[+1.]
At the production team’s base camp.
The director stared at the young man sitting before him, his forehead beaded with sweat.
Gu Yunqi sat in a chair, fiddling with a pen. "Have a seat, Director. Why be so formal?"
The director looked embarrassed. "I’m trying to lose weight. Standing is good for me."
"If that’s the case, then feel free to stand." He glanced up at the monitor showing Gu Zhao, his brow furrowing slightly.
’This little sister of mine is such a handful.’
"It would be best to survey the environment a few more times before filming the next show, don’t you think?" Gu Yunqi asked the director lazily.
"Yes, yes, yes! There will be absolutely no more accidents!" the director immediately declared.
’This second son of the Gu Family is notoriously ruthless. I do not want to be on his bad side.’
Seeing that Gu Zhao and the others were safer than the poachers, Gu Yunqi stood up. "Mm, I’ll be leaving then. Let my special assistant know how much money the show needs. I don’t want Gu Xulin to end up in such a dangerous situation again."
’So much trouble. My brother is trouble, and this new sister is even more annoying.’
’Fuck, now I have to go find our eldest brother.’
...
"My children! Team Two, go!" Gu Zhao shouted suddenly from her hiding spot in the bushes.
In the blink of an eye, the barrage of stones stopped.
The poachers didn’t let their guard down, however. One of them had a mental breakdown, raised his gun, and fired toward the spot where Gu Zhao’s voice had come from.
"HOO HOO HOO!" Seeing this, the monkeys grew furious.
One group of monkeys retreated, and another group took the stage.
But this time, the monkeys all had leaves stuffed up their noses and were carrying something wrapped in more leaves.
"Hoo! Team Two, on my command! Throw!" the Team Two monkey captain ordered. In an instant, countless balls of feces were hurled at the poachers.
"AAAAAH! It stinks! This is disgusting!"
"Damned monkeys! Die, die, die!" Their bodies were already itching and stinging, and now their noses and minds were suffering a double blow. The poachers were on the verge of breaking down.
Feng Jiexu stared at the unidentified droppings splattered on his arms and legs, the corner of his mouth twitching.
The poachers weren’t the only ones breaking down. So were Ye Zuiyi and the other hostages tied to the trees.
The monkeys’ attack didn’t distinguish between friend and foe. Their main principle was ’share the love evenly’.
Smelling the shit on her body, Ye Zuiyi was about to lose her mind, especially since a big glob had landed right on top of her head!!
Ye Zexi tried to comfort her, but the moment he opened his mouth, the stench made him gag repeatedly.
Seeing this, Ye Zuiyi’s expression darkened even further.
Tong Jianfeng and Tang Yuexuan weren’t faring much better. The stench of the feces on them made them vomit violently.
The only one who hadn’t been splattered with shit was Tong Yunxin.
The monkeys were throwing with all their might. One of them nearly hit Tong Yunxin, but another monkey smacked it on the head. "The Big King said not to throw at the little one holding the baby bear!"
The second battle ended.
A smile played on Feng Jiexu’s lips as he awaited the next wave. He didn’t think that little liar, Gu Zhao, would let it end so easily.
’A scientific little liar!’
’Next time I catch her, I’ll spank her till her butt is raw!’
Sure enough, for the third wave, a swarm of indistinguishable snakes slithered out, along with smaller creatures like spiders and bees.
Screams filled the air.
Feng Jiexu had already darted into the driver’s seat. He watched everything with cold detachment, not a hint of anger on behalf of his beleaguered men.
On the contrary, he seemed rather intrigued.
Suddenly, his expression changed. He looked up at the forest outside the vehicle.
After a moment of thought, an idea struck him. He immediately got out of the vehicle, grabbed the nearest subordinate, and shouted as he ran, "Retreat!"
He dragged the man and ran deep into the forest, abandoning the vehicle and any men who couldn’t keep up.
Seeing this, the hidden Zhong Mingrui and Song Yi grew anxious. They hadn’t even made their move yet!
"Porcupine Clan, advance! Go get some achievements!!" Song Yi yelled.
Zhong Mingrui: "Monkey Clan, Monkey Clan, unrivaled under the heavens! Mere poachers are an easy pinch! Get ’em!!"
Porcupines, monkeys, wolf packs, and even flocks of birds joined the attack.
"We pledge our lives to the Big King!! Full-scale assault!" Zhong Mingrui was ecstatic.
The moment the porcupines entered the fray, endless screams could be heard.
"Big Bro! This one’s mine! That’s a nice-looking butt!" a young porcupine said excitedly, eyeing a poacher whose pants had split open to reveal red underwear.
The porcupine called Big Bro was generous. "Alright, you take that one. That other butt looks pretty good too, I’ll go give him a quill!"
The porcupines charged, and sounds of despair echoed to the heavens.
The special police team, still making their way through the woods, all froze.
"Did you guys hear that?"
"Sounded like screaming."
"Fuck! Those motherless bastards! They’d better not be hurting the hostages!"
"Hurry! Protect the hostages!"
They picked up their pace, every one of them deeply worried about the hostages.
Meanwhile, Feng Jiexu had escaped the range of the attack. He was a mess from head to toe. Of his thirteen men, only three had managed to follow him out.
They were covered in feces, and their exposed skin was red, swollen, itchy, and accompanied by a stinging pain.
"So itchy! What kind of depraved monster came up with this idea!" They couldn’t help but scratch their skin to relieve the itching.
In their hearts, they were cursing the eighteen generations of ancestors of whoever came up with this wicked plan.
Feng Jiexu’s expression was complicated. "Stop scratching. You’re covered in feces. If you break the skin, you’ll get an infection."
"Boss, are we just going to let it go like this?"
"Yeah, Boss, a lot of the brothers didn’t make it out. And... we didn’t get the animals the organization wanted..."
Feng Jiexu frowned. "What else? The special police have probably arrived by now. On top of that, you have those unethical, dishonorable animals. What can you do? Go eat shit?"
The three men’s faces turned ugly, but they couldn’t refute him.
"Let’s go for now. We’ll be back," Feng Jiexu said, walking on ahead. His pace was a little fast.
’Damn it, the three of them stink so bad! What the hell kind of crap is this?!’
...
"Boss, the effect of this feces is amazing!" Zhong Mingrui was incredibly excited, and also incredibly sick.
The stench made no distinction between friend or foe.
Gu Zhao’s face was full of pride. "Of course! I led the monkey troop to steal it from the hyenas."
As for why they had to steal it, the monkeys said the hyenas don’t like it when people say they stink.
They weren’t willing to lend out their poop.
"So cool! BLEGH..." Song Yi also threw up.
The large snakes silently coiled around the poachers, immobilizing them.
"Snake needs a bath later! Snake is dirty! Waaaah, it stinks so bad," a white snake wailed pitifully as it wrapped around a poacher.
Gu Zhao also found a leaf to plug her nose, then clasped her hands behind her back and swaggered up to the poachers like a kingpin. "Still feeling cocky?"
"Gu Zhao, hurry up and untie us!" Ye Zexi commanded the moment he saw her.
"Oh, oh, I’m dizzy. Bro-bro, I was so scared." THUD. Gu Zhao locked eyes with Gu Xulin, waiting until he was coming over before she fainted with relief.
Ye Zexi was about to explode with rage. "Gu Zhao!"
"Hands up, don’t move!" The dark muzzles of guns were aimed at Gu Zhao and the others.
