Free Web NovelChapter 90: Enough With The Faces!
The wrestling arena had officially become the most ridiculous place Nobody had ever visited.
Which was saying something. He had fought invisible centipedes, a giant floating brain, a poison demoness, a dinosaur-spider hybrid. And somehow this kangaroo was still the weirdest thing he’d ever encountered.
Currently Nobody was sprinting around the wrestling ring again. Behind him..Muscle Bob chased him while riding a one-wheeled bicycle.
YES, A ONE-WHEELED BICYCLE.
Nobody pointed backward while running. "WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT?!"
Bob rang a little bell.
RING RING!
Then somehow pedaled faster. "Yahoooooo!"
Nobody groaned. "I hate this stage."
The system suddenly appeared.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
[SYSTEM NOTICE]
User seems to be enjoying the cat and mouse chase.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nobody nearly tripped. "Correction." He pointed at himself. "NPC." Then pointed behind him. "Kangaroo." Then said,"This is a kangaroo and NPC chase."
The system thought for a second.
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[Correction Accepted]
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"Thank you."
Bob rang the bell again.
RING RING!
"Yahoooooo!"
Nobody screamed. "STOP SAYING YAHOO! I use Gmail."
The audience cheered.
BOB!
BOB!
BOB!
BOB!
The system suddenly flashed red.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
[WARNING]
Opponent may use third skill at any time.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nobody pointed at the screen. "No need to tell me. I already saw his third sky-shattering skills."
The system didn’t respond. Probably because it agreed.
Bob suddenly performed a wheelie. On a one-wheeled bicycle.
Nobody refused to question reality anymore. He was way past that point.
He sighed dramatically. "Why does it feel like this stage is taking revenge on me?"
Bob rang his bell.
RING RING!
Nobody continued. "Is this because I played drums on Skyblader?"
The system instantly answered.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Negative.
Opponent possesses:
0 Revenge Sense
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nobody nodded. "Yeah. I can see that." He looked toward Bob. The kangaroo was currently juggling three pineapples while riding the bicycle. "That thing only has nonsense."
The audience applauded. Bob bowed. Nobody wanted to cry.
Then the system flashed again.
Of course, it was the red light warning.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
[WARNING]
Opponent activating:
DUET BAM!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nobody froze. "...Duet what?"
Bob suddenly stopped riding. The bicycle vanished.
Nobody wasn’t surprised anymore.
The kangaroo combined both gloves together. The gloves merged. Then became enormous.
The audience gasped dramatically. "Ooooooh!"
Nobody pointed. "WHY ARE THEY ENCOURAGING HIM?!"
Nobody immediately turned and ran.
Bob crouched and then jumped.
BOOOOOOM!
The wrestling ring cracked. The kangaroo launched upward like a missile.
Nobody looked up. Then immediately regretted it. "Oh no."
Bob was directly above him, smiling. The biggest smile Nobody had ever seen. The kangaroo waved. "Hi friendo!"
Nobody pointed upward. "GO AWAY!"
But it’s too late.
WHAM!
The combined gloves slammed directly into Nobody’s face. The world exploded. The audience cheered.
BOB!
BOB!
BOB!
Nobody stumbled backward. His vision spun. His head very weird.
Then the audience suddenly became silent. Ren blinked. Even Blossom blinked.
Nobody looked confused. "Why are you all staring?"
Ren pointed. "...Your face."
Nobody froze. "...What about it?"
A mirror suddenly appeared. Because reality hated him.
Nobody looked. Then screamed. "WHAT THE HELL?!" A giant cat face stared back at him. Whiskers, cat nose. Even the audience laughed.
Nobody touched his face. "WHY AM I A CAT?!"
Bob immediately started laughing. "Meow!"
Nobody pointed. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"
WHAM!
Another Duet Pow hit him. His face changed again. The cat vanished. Now a handsome gigachad face appeared. Perfect jawline, perfect hair and perfect smile.
The audience erupted. "OHHHHHHHHHH!"
Ren stood up. "Okay. That one actually suits you."
Nobody stared.
"...Really?! Are you fking kidding me..!! I LOOK LIKE CHIN WOO from Single Levelling anime."
Ren nodded. "Not gonna lie. That’s an upgrade HA HA HA."
Nobody looked offended. "HEY!"
WHAM!
Another hit. The gigachad vanished.
Now a heavily made-up girl face appeared. Perfect eyelashes, bright lipstick, glitter everywhere.
The audience lost control. Bob fell onto the floor laughing.
Nobody stood frozen. "..."
"..."
"...System."
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[YES?]
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"I quit."
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
[REQUEST DENIED]
Also, user is looking cute
( •◡-)-♡
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nobody sighed. "Of course. Because your a perv"
WHAM!
Another hit. Face changed.
Now he looked like an angry old man.
WHAM! freēwebnovel.com
Another hit. Now he looked like a baby.
WHAM!
Another hit. Now he looked like a fish.
Nobody finally snapped. "STOP CUSTOMIZING MY FACE!"
The audience chanted louder.
BOB!
BOB!
BOB!
BOB!
Bob pointed proudly at Nobody. The kangaroo clearly considered this art. Ren was laughing so hard tears streamed down his face.
Blossom rolled around the audience seats. "Atta! Atta! Atta!"
Nobody felt betrayed again.
Eventually....
WHAM!
Another punch landed. The weird face disappeared. Everything vanished. His familiar faceless appearance returned.
The audience gasped.
Ren looked disappointed. "Aww."
Nobody pointed immediately. "NO! This is the correct face!"
Ren shrugged. "I kinda liked the gigachad one."
Nobody looked horrified. The audience began booing. Apparently, they preferred the random faces. Bob looked sad. The kangaroo lowered his gloves. Nobody finally had enough.
Nobody stood up. Crowbars appeared.
CLANG.
CLANG.
The arena became quiet. Nobody pointed both crowbars at Muscle Bob. The kangaroo blinked.
Nobody’s voice became serious. "You listened here, Goofytunes."
Bob tilted his head. "Yahoo?"
"You can punch me, throw me, kick me like a boxing bag. Turn me into a chair. But nobody... He pointed at himself. "...NOBODY messes with my face."
The audience gasped.
Ren slowly leaned forward. A grin appeared on the rabbit’s face. "Oh. Now we’re getting somewhere."
Across the ring Muscle Bob’s goofy smile widened. The kangaroo bounced excitedly.
BOING.
BOING.
BOING.
Then pointed directly at Nobody. As if accepting the challenge. And now the comedy battle felt like a real fight was about to begin.
The tension inside the wrestling arena suddenly changed.
Nobody wasn’t running. He wasn’t screaming. He wasn’t questioning reality. Well... not as much. He slowly rolled his shoulders.
CRACK.
CRACK.
Muscle Bob stopped bouncing for a moment. The kangaroo tilted his head curiously. "Friendo angry?"
Nobody pointed a crowbar at him. "No." A pause. "Maybe." Another pause. "Okay, yes I am angry as hell."
The audience released a dramatic gasp. "OHHHHHHHH!"
Nobody ignored them. His eyes stayed locked on Bob.
The more he thought about it the more he realized something. The kangaroo wasn’t actually trying to hurt him seriously. The attacks were ridiculous. Painful and humiliating. But never lethal. Almost like... Bob was trying to force him to adapt to the worst situations. To think differently.
The system suddenly appeared.
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[NOTICE]
User beginning to understand Stage 7 objective.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nobody blinked. "...Wait." He pointed at the screen. "So this entire clown show has a purpose?"
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[Affirmative]
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Muscle Bob proudly nodded. Then, somehow pulled out a teacher’s pointer stick.
Nobody immediately pointed. "WHERE DO YOU KEEP GETTING THIS STUFF?!"
Bob ignored the question. The kangaroo pointed the stick toward his own head. Then toward Nobody’s head. Then gave a thumbs up.
"...." Nobody stared. "...Are you trying to teach me?"
Bob nodded enthusiastically. "Yahoo!"
Nobody felt his brain hurt. The terrifying demoness had tried to poison him. The floating brain monster had tried to break his mind. But somehow a teaching kangaroo was causing more confusion than both of them combined.
From the audience, Ren laughed. "Congratulations."
Nobody looked over. "For what?"
Ren grinned. "You finally found an opponent crazier than you."
The entire arena immediately started laughing.
Even the system.
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[system window]
HE HE HE ꉂ (≧ヮ≦)
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nobody stood there in silence. Then pointed at all of them.
"I hate every single one of you."
