MILF Harem Of Legends

Chapter 90: The Cookie Monster

As Mary Jane kept choking and wheezing like a pig, the one-sided fight raged on. All around her, personal bodyguard Templars quickly found out the meaning of true faith and what it really means.

The faith that following Mary Jane means they will get their asses beaten every day.

Piggy Sue turned from breaking a man’s nose to meet the sword of another man. Raising her rolling pin up in the air, she met his sword, but this time, the Templar’s sword did not break because Piggy Sue had only absorbed the tears of three hundred deadbeat husbands into her rolling pin.

Not one to be deterred by a little setback, Piggy Sue lifted her leg and kicked the man right in his family jewels. Any man who fights a member of NAO-WACH should know they never fight fair.

The man’s eyes popped out of his skull for a moment, then flew back inside. This amused Piggy Sue.

The Templar collapsed onto his knees and, looking up at Piggy Sue, he said, "Lady, that was a low blow!"

Piggy Sue sneered and said to the man as she brought her rolling pin up into the air like a bat, "Aww, that’s too bad. But hey, guess what I will do to help you feel better."

The Templar foolishly looked at this beautiful woman in front of him and said, "What?"

Piggy Sue smiled as the man took the bait.

*Bam*

*Crunch*

Piggy Sue said with a smile, "Knock you out cold."

*Thump*

The poor Templar collapsed on the ground, now missing his two front teeth. If he was a smart man, he would offer them to his master, the saintess, so she could replace her own teeth with them.

Piggy Sue moved onto another target that was trying to sneak up on Fran.

Running up behind him, Piggy Sue brought her rolling pin up into the air to hold with both hands. Then she jumped up high into the air, only to bring it crashing back down to earth onto the man’s head.

*Bam*

*Thunk*

The Templar, now with a collapsed helmet, was knocked out cold onto the ground, his helmet crushed like an old discarded can of diet coke. When he woke up later, he would forever be called Cross Eyes due to this hit making him forever see double of everything because of his permanent cross-eye disability.

Fran, seeing Piggy Sue had her back, pulled out a cookie from her apron and threw it to Piggy Sue, saying, "Eat the cookie up, Piggy Sue. It will make you a woman with attitude."

Nothing is more deadly than a super-powered woman with attitude.

Fran grabbed the cookie and began to eat it.

*Various cookie eating sounds*

Piggy Sue ate the cookie. Suddenly, her normal sexy brown hair turned into a vibrant blue, and her eyes turned from green to pink. She felt the power flowing through her at this very moment, so she yelled out to her fellow wives, "AHH, I HAVE THE POWER TO BEAT DEADBEAT HUSBANDS!"

The air around Piggy Sue suddenly blew outward as she entered her super wife state. This knocked back all four of the Templars that were just about to jump her.

With speed that no human should have the right to possess, Piggy Sue ran up to the first Templar still on the ground and kneecapped the man with her rolling pin.

*Crack* frёewebnoѵel.ƈo๓

The Templar cried out with a scream, "Ahh, what the hell did you eat? A bull’s testicle?"

Piggy Sue looked stunned for a moment, and then she said, "Eww, no, gross. Women don’t eat gross stuff like you men. It would make us all hairy."

Hearing this statement, both the Templar and Piggy Sue looked at the bearded saintess, Mary Jane Dawson.

Breaking out of her pondering on what that fat hairy saintess eats, Piggy Sue moved onto another downed Templar. As soon as she arrived by his side, she grabbed his skull with her free hand and curb-stomped him straight through a wooden table and onto the cold hard dirt below, but not before his face landed in a steaming pile of shit.

As an experienced wife, Piggy Sue easily avoided the steaming pile on the ground.

Running over to the third Templar that recovered from his fall on the ground, Piggy Sue holstered her rolling pin and picked up speed. As she did, Piggy Sue grabbed his head with her hand, then she jumped into the air, letting gravity carry his face to land hard onto the ground. That’s right, Piggy Sue performed a running face slam.

*Crunch*

The poor Templar was forced to swallow his own blood as it sprayed out from his nose, hitting the ground, then flying back into his throat.

Seeing this glorious and bloody sight, Fran called out to Piggy Sue, who had just undergone a cookie monster transformation, one of the secret weapons of NAO-WACH. "Piggy Sue, you got a good angle on the blood spray."

Piggy Sue, now covered in blood, gave Fran a quiet thumbs up, then ran at the last standing Templar in front of her.

With agile feet that no wife could ever be without if they want to chase their husbands around properly, Piggy Sue jumped up into the air and pulled out her rolling pin. While doing a spin in the air, as she passed over the head of the last Templar in front of her, she brought it down on the left side of his helmet.

Fran, not wanting to be left out of the fun, brought her rolling pin down on the right side of the man’s helmet. The poor man was hit on both sides simultaneously.

*Bong* x2

The Templar began to shake violently back and forth as his ears began to bleed. This took care of all of the Templars that Mary Jane had with her. The other wives that came with Fran took out another dozen guards themselves.

Mary Jane looked at the bloody scene in front of her and said to Fran and Piggy Sue with a frightened tone of voice, "What are you going to do to me? You had better not hurt me. The church will never let you off."

Fran sneered as she said to Mary Jane, "Your church should be afraid of us. What if we tell our members to stop donations to your church? NAO-WACH is an international organization, you know, so I think that’s exactly what we will do. Then I will give you a good beating."

Mary Jane Dawson began to shake in fear. Her goddess would definitely replace her if her precious shiny things stopped coming to her.

Mary Jane became so scared that she could not even continue to eat her pig trotters. She began to panic. What if her beard hairs started to turn grey from the stress?

Piggy Sue saw Mary Jane panicking and said to her with a smirk on her face, "You should lift that blessing, or I may just shave your beard off!"

Hearing this, Mary Jane Dawson was so panicked she fainted. After she fainted, Fran pulled out a razor and gave Piggy Sue a suggestive look.

*Suggestive shaving sounds commencing*