Free Web NovelChapter 77: The Freaky Little Gnomes Pt. 3
"You dare to insult our mistress? Everyone, let’s take down this tyrant. Charge!"
Kathy’s forest of mushrooms between her feet began to tremble even more as a small army of blue gnomes rode small bug-like mounts out of the green forest of Kathy’s toes.
Fate’s jaw hung open, and he broke character for the first time in this new life by turning to Ruby and asking, "Ruby, are we seriously living inside a video game right now, or has this somehow become a Saturday morning cartoon?"
Ruby ignored Fate’s character breakdown and simply answered with a pun, "Fate, who knows, but remember that the toes work in mysterious ways."
Both Fate and Amara nodded their heads in agreement at the fact that toe jam can create life.
Fate smiled and suddenly said to Kathy over a megaphone, "Kathy, now I know how all life was created. It must be from your primordial ooze-like toe jam. What other explanation can there possibly be?"
Kathy began to shake in anger. How dare Fate accuse her toes of being the source of all life? Before she could yell back at Fate, the annoying blue gnomes, still charging at Shadow Spire Citadel on their mounts, yelled, "Don’t worry, mistress! We shall avenge your honor! No one is allowed to insult the primordial toe jam from which all gnome toe life springs. My fellow toe gnomes, charge onwards and upwards to defeat our enemy!"
Kathy grew even more enraged as she said to her toe children, "Who are you calling your creator? I don’t know any of you, and I don’t acknowledge any of you toe jam creatures either. Always trying to interfere with my business just because I may have forgotten to wash my feet a few million times. It’s not my fault pedicures cost a fortune, and so do pest removal services."
Fate heard Kathy say this and, with a shocked tone in his voice, said over the loudspeaker, "Kathy, are you sure you don’t need an exorcism instead?"
Kathy grew so enraged by this statement that she tried to storm away in anger, but Kathy discovered that she couldn’t. Looking down at her toes, Kathy discovered that her tropical toe forest had grown roots into the ground.
*Pull*
*Pull*
Thousands of tiny voices called out from within her toes as Kathy tried moving her feet, "Ahh, our mistress is displeased with us for not taking revenge sooner. Have mercy on us, oh great and powerful smelly one."
Kathy was now shaking so much in embarrassment and anger that she said, "Shut your damn mouths, you filthy little things. Stop embarrassing me, or I will wash my toes tonight."
The voices that resided within the depths of Kathy’s toes yelled out at her, "No mistress, you can’t! We helped you steal so much money from Prince Nimrod and your mother. What would you do without the ooze?"
Kathy became pale from her secrets being discovered, then she said to her unacknowledged minions, "Shut up, you idiots, before I take you all to pound town and have you replaced with a new toe jam tribe from one of my other toes."
Tens of thousands of voices all screamed, "No! Forgive us, mistress!"
When Fate heard Kathy having a conversation with her own toe jam tribes, he looked at Amara and asked her, "Amara, you used to work for the church. Can some divine healing cure such a bad case of fungal infection?"
Amara almost choked on her own laughter as she answered Fate, saying, "Fate, The Church of Divine Promises can perform the most powerful of miracles, but even they can’t cure this foul toe infestation."
Fate lowered his head in happiness as he said with the most sincerely fake sad voice, "Then truly all hope is lost for Kathy’s feet. But let’s look on the bright side of life. Knowing how much of a cheapskate Nimrod is, he probably shares the same bathroom with Maria and Kathy. So, I’m sure both of you know what that means."
Fate’s loudspeaker broadcast all of this to the giant town square down below him that he used to play human chess on.
Now, a giant group of citizens showed up to watch this spectacle of dozens of small gnomes moving very slowly towards Shadow Spire Citadel to get revenge for the landlord mistress.
These toe gnomes truly exemplified the struggle they must endure to pay for their prime moat-side toe reality, so that these elite warriors were not evicted to the small toe slums.
Fate saw a bunch of those red-clothed street stall food vendors down below in the crowd selling food for this event. Fate decided to make his way down with Ruby and Amara by his side. It’s not like Kathy is going anywhere anytime soon.
After Fate walked to the red-clothed street vendors to get a sugar donut, he bit into it and was amazed, saying to Ruby, "Damn Ruby, they have great sugar donuts. Where did they learn this recipe from?"
Ruby had an ambiguous smile on her face because all the money they were making came from a certain sleep talker that spent too much time playing with her and Amara and not enough time sleeping.
They were now enjoying themselves at the festival that popped up around the event of gnomes invading his citadel. Now these blue gnomes had adjusted their course to intercept Fate out here in the open.
Even at a fair, the public never failed to talk trash about Fate. One of the audience at this fair said in a hushed tone, "Look, it’s Duke Fate. Can you imagine a tyrant like him making those gnomes travel so far just for the pleasure of kicking his ass? If it was me, I would have kicked his butt hours ago then brought Fate before these gnomes so that they could enjoy the amazing feeling of giving an ass whooping to nobility."
Kathy was still stuck to the ground, and around her, a strong man competition had sprung up. They put a stone on the ground, then a plank of wood under the loose bit of Kathy’s feet, and now people were competing to see who could hit the other side of the plank of wood and free her from her toe jam prison.
*Boom*
"Damn, I failed!"
Another strongman said out loud, "Ha ha, you can’t even beat a simple tropical toe jam forest."
The eight-foot-tall strongman looked back at the man who was talking crap at him and saw a six-foot-tall beanpole of a man.
The tiny strongman looked shocked at the size of the man in front of him as he shook in fear and said, "Who said something so mean about you, sir? Here, let me give myself a slap for not defending your honor." freewёbnoνel.com
*Hard Slap*
The big strongman smiled in satisfaction, handing his mallet to this tiny six-foot man and walking away. The beanpole man, whose name was Sprout, sighed in relief, saying to himself, "Man, some people these days just can’t take some criticism."
Then, moving forward with the mallet in hand, Sprout brought it up above his head to slam down.
*Bam*
*Snap*
Sprout was shocked as his mouth hung open. Then he said out loud to those around him, "Guys, we need another plank of wood over here. Damn, this is the fifth one that has broken since we started."
