Free Web NovelChapter 69: The Big Dipper
Fran looked at Hank after Deuce Rat ran away and said to him, "Hank, I know you are stupid, but at least don’t repeat the nonsense others tell you. In the future, it will save me a lot of trouble when I have to bail you out of jail for opening your fat mouth."
Hank, not sure if any of this was even his fault, was glad that Deuce got away so he could spend time with him later. But looking at his wife, Hank said, "Fran, you know that I can’t abandon my friends. Besides, Deuce owes me drinks from the last time I paid for him during our visit to the courtesan quarter."
Fran’s neck cracked as her head did a ninety-degree turn upon hearing Hank talk about money again. "HANK, TODAY IS THE DAY I BEAT YOU SENSELESS OR MY NAME IS NOT FRAN GUNDERSON!"
As Fran said this, she started to chase her husband down the street with her rolling pin in her hand. Seeing this, all the wives of NAO-WACH pulled out their rolling pins and gave chase after Hank. They had to show their support for their fearless and domineering leader. One of these wives cried out loud, "Housewives Charge!"
Then everyone present saw a horde of women following their leader to beat up one stupid, unemployed husband. The husbands who were beaten by their wives wisely chose to return home to wait for their wives and take care of their children. Not all of them were as stupid as Hank Gunderson and refused to do as they were told, at least for today, but they knew tomorrow presented another chance to sneak to the courtesan quarter.
This whole time, no one paid attention to the priest from the mobile sin forgiveness stand. He had gotten himself thrown into a dumpster by Sir Moo-Rlboro. The priest looked at the ground covered in gold crowns and his eyes lit up. As he crawled out of the dumpster with a banana peel on his head, he just wanted to get these gold crowns that everyone seemed to have forgotten about and fill his donation quota to receive his level one divine power from the goddess.
As he was about to pick up the pile of gold crowns that Sir Cut-n-Run wanted to collect as a tax, the priest felt two pairs of eyes on him. Looking up, he met the eyes of those two tax-collecting monsters again. Sir Moo-Rlboro, chewing his tobacco, said to him, "You can try to grab that money, but you already know what will happen if you do. So what will your choice be?"
This priest just wanted to have a little extra money to become a real scam priest like his idol, Priest Joe, a level four divine priest. Looking at Sir Moo-Rlboro and grunting while crawling on the ground, this priest, who was so unimportant that he did not even deserve a name, said to Sir Moo-Rlboro, "I need this money for my future. Can you please give it to me, you glorious bovine beefcake?"
Then the priest cracked a smile that would scare even children away. Sir Moo-Rlboro was about to say no to this priest when a voice of someone he had not met yet interrupted him. "Ruby tells me that your name is Sir Moo-Rlboro Mike and your giant friend beside you is Sir Backstab Cut-n-Run. It’s a pleasure to meet you both. Thank you for collecting taxes and suppressing the gentry on my behalf."
That’s right, this voice belonged to Fate, their new lord and God. Sir Moo-Rlboro and Sir Cut-n-Run immediately stood at attention, with Mike standing up on two hooves to salute Fate with a hoof over his head, while Sir Cut-n-Run used his three-foot-long beard to salute Fate as it fluttered in the wind above his head. Seeing this, Fate cracked a smile on his face and laughed, saying, "Ha ha, you two can relax. I was just here to watch the show that you and Fran Gunderson put on." freewёbnoνel.com
After Fate said this, both of these tax collectors stood at ease as the unimportant priest crawling on the ground did not dare to move. Sir Moo-Rlboro even made the rare exception of spitting out his chew. The chew just happened to land on the grifter priest lying on the ground, but the priest did not dare to scream out in pain even as smoke began to rise from the chew that hit his hair. The priest knew that from now on, he could at least be called Baldy by others as he cried over the loss of his glorious hair.
Sir Moo-Rlboro looked at Fate and said, "My lord, it is our distinct pleasure to oppress annoying people on your behalf. So far, we have not only oppressed the church but also foreign merchants and several young masters. The streets of Valoria have run red with the tears of anguish from grown men losing their lunch money."
Fate nodded his head and said to this talking cow, "I have never met a talking cow before, Sir Moo-Rlboro, but you certainly give all talking cows a good image. To be able to oppress so many people along with Sir Cut-n-Run is truly my treasury’s blessing."
Then Fate looked at the giant old man standing next to Sir Moo-Rlboro and smiled, saying, "Sir Cut-n-Run, it’s a pleasure to meet such a legend as yourself as well. Ruby has told me of many of your heroic exploits for King Edmund Bloodsworn, saving the poor from the oppression of the nobles and the church. Ruby also told me of your genius idea about taxing nobility to attend court. If I ever become the king of Westridge, I would definitely implement this policy for both the church and nobles."
After Fate made this statement, both of these knights and Ruby’s eyes began to shine with ideas, as did Amara’s while she was hiding in the shadows with her elite group of stalker guards. Fate did not even realize that he had just raised a flag for himself at this moment, but his paranoia alarm went off as he looked around him again. Why were there more of those weird gargoyles on the roofs again? These gargoyles have shapely figures, but the heads leave a lot to be desired.
Fate decided to get to the point of meeting these two loyal knights. "Sir Moo-Rlboro and Sir Cut-n-Run, I just wanted to inform you both to return this money to Fran Gunderson and not to trouble her too much in the future. I have a good impression of this housewife and her loyalty to ensuring that her husband gets a job and her kids are cared for with her baking money." freёwebnoѵel.com
Sir Moo-Rlboro and Sir Cut-n-Run’s impression of their new master immediately went through the roof with these new orders. To think that Duke Fate Grimsever values family so much is truly admirable. In Fate’s opinion, it was not nearly such a big deal. He simply thought that Fran and Hank Gunderson were funny, and there was no need to make things difficult for them. Fate likes to show kindness to people who entertain him; it often leads to unexpected results.
Fate looked at Ruby by his side and smiled with a wicked thought on his mind. He said, "Ruby, let’s get going before it gets dark outside. We can still make it in time for our midnight picnic and perhaps a midnight discussion on the proper usage of my Big Dipper in your lovely Northern Star."
Fate and Ruby left Valoria behind as Fate left the city for the first time in several weeks. Fate could still remember his trip here when he took an arrow to the knee. After that arrow, Fate felt like he could never be an adventurer again—that is, until he registered at the actual adventurers’ guild. Now, he has no legitimate reason to retire. Fate has to be at least an S-rank adventurer before he takes another arrow to his other knee, giving him another reason to retire for a while.
After riding for several hours out of the city, Fate and Ruby arrived at an empty clearing at the side of the road. As they dismounted their horses, Fate sighed as he could already tell that they were not alone.
