MILF Harem Of Legends

Chapter 63: I Like Shiny Things

After around an hour of walking, one cow and one nine-foot-tall bare-chested man made their way to The Church of Divine Promises.

Sir Cut-n-Run looked up at this giant church and commented to Mike, "Mike, they sure love to show off their wealth. The Church of Divine Promises is the same as always: rich and easy to bully. At least with the level of guards they have here now, there is nothing to worry about."

Bishop Gary Oldman was standing outside of the noble entrance of the church with a giant smile on his face. He looked at his fellow priests and said with a smile on his face, "Ha ha, we have to thank Duke Fate Grimsever for taking our last roof away. Thanks to so many people hating the Duke, donations came pouring in from all over the continent of Vale to replace our roof. Even the Pope in the holy kingdom of Xeon sent a large amount of materials to rebuild it. Now our church roof is made with a combination of platinum, black obsidian marble, and gold, with the tiles of the roof made out of precious gems."

All of the ass-kissing priests around Bishop Gary Oldman agreed with this statement. One of them even arrogantly said to Bishop Gary Oldman, "That’s right, Bishop, and those tax collectors have not even shown up in a few days. I bet that after seeing our new roof and the power of the holy land backing us up, they will not dare to act arrogantly in front of us again." freeweɓnovel.cøm

Bishop Gary looked at this young priest and said, "Priest Joe, you’re not bad at kissing ass. Keep this up, and you may just be placed in charge of receiving the donations of commoners—a very lucrative position. The priest in charge of that post gets to keep five percent of all donations that are received. The Church of Divine Promises is just like a business, young man. The more people you get under you to receive donations on your behalf, and the more those people get, will each increase the commission you get to take home. So to sum it up for you, Joe, the more people you can get stationed at our mobile sin forgiveness stations on the streets of Valoria, the more commission you receive and the more I get to keep from your hard work."

Priest Joe looked at Bishop Gary Oldman in front of him with a stunned face and said, "Bishop Gary, are you telling me that the goddess of life, Vespera, has her church running a pyramid scheme?"

Bishop Gary looked offended by this statement and said to Priest Joe, "Priest Joe, please. The Church of Divine Promises is the original pyramid scheme, not a pyramid scheme. The goddess has all of us on a multi-tier reward system. The more money we raise for her, the more divine power we receive from her."

Priest Joe was truly shocked by this statement, which forced him to seriously ask Bishop Gary, "So what does the goddess get out of all of the wealth that we send her?"

Bishop Gary, hearing this question, looked both ways in a shifty manner to make sure the coast was clear. Seeing only other clergy around him, Bishop Gary told Priest Joe the truth, "Priest Joe, the truth is that goddess Vespera loves shiny things. The more, the better. She loves everything from gold to platinum. If it’s valuable and shiny, she wants it."

Priest Joe looked at Bishop Gary and asked, "Why does she want shiny things? That makes no sense."

Bishop Gary leaned by Priest Joe’s ear and whispered to him another shocking secret, "Vespera likes to admire her reflection in these shiny things."

Priest Joe’s body began to shake from these three shocking revelations about the religion he has dedicated his entire life to. Then, with bloodshot eyes, Joe said to Bishop Gary, "Bishop, I knew there was a reason I joined this church. What a great way to make suckers—I’m sorry, I mean believers—make all of us rich. This is the perfect use of their money to make me rich, and the goddess even richer."

As these two idiots were demonstrating why Fate thought it was a good idea that they be taxed daily in order to pay for more entertaining security measures to thwart his assassins with, Sir Cut-n-Run and his longtime friend, Sir Moo-Rlboro Mike, walked up to the commoner entrance of the church. Now, there was not even a giant fake door there anymore, just a giant wall sign that said:

**REPENT, COMMONER SINNERS, AND DONATE TO SAVE YOURSELVES NOW!!**

Looking at this sign, Sir Cut-n-Run could honestly say that since his time at court, the standards of the church have really gone up quite a bit.

Back then, they did not even put up a sign to condemn people. Instead, they simply put out a garbage dumpster and a donation box. The dumpster was to tell people they are trash if they don’t donate to the goddess. It was honestly quite an effective scheme that helped to build the solid gold foundations that all of the churches are built on.

Sir Moo-Rlboro looked at Backstab and said to his partner in a comedic tone of voice, "Backstab, we need to make sure that we collect eight times the normal tax, just like Ruby asked us to do. These guys need to bleed a bit. But looking at this new roof, it won’t matter at all what we take from them. People will just give them newer and better things."

Then both Sir Moo-Rlboro and Sir Cut-n-Run looked at each other and laughed out loud, saying, "Ha ha, the perfect sheep to fleece!" x 2

Then they both proceeded to the noble entrance, where a long line of nobles were waiting with gifts in hand to be healed from their various back issues from being too fat due to their vast and undeserved fortunes making it too hard for them to even get out of bed. A lot of these nobles were actually carried here by servants on mobile beds called palanquins.

These beds cracked under the weight of the fat nobles. One of these nobles said, "Hurry, make way for me. I’m Baron. I need healing to help me digest my supper. I’m having stomach issues."

When everyone heard this, everyone ran for it as someone yelled out, "FIRE IN THE BARON HOLE!"