Free Web NovelChapter 204: Chapter 204 Figuring out Myself
Maze
I haven’t been near my mate for three days. It has been hell not to be near her, and to not apologize for being rude that first day, but as I reached out to a therapist three days ago, she said it would be best if I worked on myself before trying again with Kiara. I didn’t want to wait, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to do the wrong thing again. I already made my first impression to her a piss poor one, might as well add to that until I have myself and my feelings all figured out.
I have had an eye on her though. She does nothing I don’t know about, and when she made two new friends I was equally happy for her and furrowly pissed off the males. Although when I saw it was James, who is a longstanding good friend of mine, and his mate, who is not out of the closet yet, I was calmed a bit. Havoc though wanted to rip their heads off for even speaking to her without me there. I had to go on a long run in the forest area to get him to calm down. And even after that he still wanted nothing more than to claim her. freewebnσvel.cøm
’We need to heal, Havoc.’
’You need to heal. I’m good!’
’You know what I mean. We can’t just claim her and drag her into all our craziness. The nightmares are still there almost every night.’ He cringes. He knows they are there. I wake to him whimpering in my mind, and I know he is not really over it at all. He just doesn’t want the pack to get ideas.
I’m out on my daily observation of Kiara, hiding on the other side of the stream. I’m like some fucking obsessed stalker, but she is so damn gorgeous when she is all concentrated on her sketches and teaching Ryan how she does. He is always really respectful, but I almost jump from my hiding place when he calls her Buttercup. When she questions it and he answers "Princess would be better, but I actually value my life." Havoc snorts in our wolf form.
’He better not fucking call our Queen, Princess. That is such an understatement of her powers.’ He rambles.
’That’s your problem? Not that he is actually calling her endearing nicknames?’ I ask back, rolling my eyes in his mind. Havoc snorts again, as the silence falls over them.
’I don’t care. He is her friend, and much better to her than we have been. We need to claim her soon or we’ll lose her.’ I know he is right but I do not like it. I’m retracting from my position when I see Toni, Valerie and Josephine walking towards Kiara and Ryan. I follow them with my eyes, daring them to do something to her. I will put them in their place themselves.
I watch them insult Kiara, who ignores that, and then Ryan. When Valerie insults Ryan’s preference of men, Kiara reacts like a fucking badass Queen. I am so turned on by how she handles it! She is not some timid little girl, she is so damn hot!
I decided to meddle, because right in that moment I can’t keep myself from her. She. Is. MINE! The possessiveness comes over me like a lavine in the mountains, and I have to touch her and tell her that.
Well, it doesn’t really go as I planned! I was planning on protecting her and putting the sluts in their places, but she fucking ignores me, slaps me, and then yells at me. When she says she is never going to accept me something snaps inside and I feel a part of myself dying all over again. I just stare at her retrieving back, as Havoc growls so ferociously that he shakes the entire ground.
When she is out of sight, I hurl around on the dimwits still there. freeweɓnovel.cѳm
"What the actual fuck did you think you were doing, huh? You have absolutely no right to insult your future Luna and Queen or her friend. He might be gay and figuring himself out, but that’s none of your business! If I EVER so much as hear you step out of line again I will banish you. Are we clear?" I give them all a deadly look, but Josephine that moron does not get the hint.
"But baby..." I grab her by the neck and raise her off the ground.
"Call me that again and you’re dead." I growl in her face. She pales and whimpers. "Do you understand Josephine?" She nods and I toss her to the ground.
I walk away before I actually kill all three of their annoying asses, I have a session to catch. I need someone’s perspective on this.
In the therapy session, the shrink looks over her glasses, a pen in one hand and a notepad in the other.
"So, you had contact with your mate today, Alpha. Seems like she is really ready either." I stare at her. Well, that was not what I thought she would say. I close my eyes, but not all the way. I have had a weird feeling with her ever since our first meeting where she said for me to have absolutely no contact with Kiara whatsoever. Mom did as well, but her credentials are impeccable. The smirk on her face is not to be mistaken.
"Out!" I say, my eyes still half closed. As I open them her jaw drops.
"Excuse me?"
"You are excused," I answer, mind-linking one of my Beta’s to come get her. A minute later there’s a knock on the door, and Leon pokes his head in.
"I am here to escort Miss. Gold out." He says and gives her a look. She looks so offended, but I do not care at all.
’Mom, we were right. What do I do now?’
’You apologize to Kiara. She is in the hospital.’ I furrow my eyebrows. What is she doing in the hospital?
’Why would she go there?’
’You would know if you actually cared to get to know the poor girl. Come on, Maze. She’ll help you heal!’ I cringe. Am I ready to open myself again? Well, I’ll never know if I don’t try. This is so hard for me. I swore again and again I would never have another mate. This could make me look weak. I shake my head. No! Everyone is right. I have been a right beast to everyone around me for 2 years, and it is high time I stop with the pity party and actually move on with my life. Mira is gone and nothing can bring her back. Kiara is alive and I need to make her forgive me. Starting with us having an actual conversation.
I get up from my chair to go to the hospital and have a talk with my mate. We need to start over, and I need to grovel real hard to convince her to do that. I may even have to give her a lot of space and prove myself many times before she’ll even consider it. Her words from earlier are still playing in my mind and my heart. They hurt, but the meaning behind them was downright scary. I hope it is not too late for me to show her that I am willing to work on myself and get this to work.
I know I felt immense pain, sorrow and longing a little time after Kiara left the grounds, and I am afraid those feelings belong to her. What do I do if she says no? I keep telling myself to stop overthinking this on the way there, but it is proving to be very hard.
I enter the hospital from outside, seeing my mate sitting in a chair treating a little girl on a bed. She is so natural and sweet with her. I just stand there paralyzed with a mixture of fright and warmth swirling inside me. Fuck she is beautiful. And she seems to be.. A doctor?! Well, damn! Girl be smart to be a doctor at her age. Just as I am getting cold feet her gorgeous eyes lock on me, and the warm smile turns slightly cold.
Well, here goes nothing.
