Chapter 71: Goodbye
Six hours until dawn and I spent the first hour just sitting on the roof alone because processing that you were about to be sealed in eternal darkness with primordial evil required some dedicated spiraling time.
The mate bonds were barely holding together at this point—Kael’s cracked from when I’d aged him, Riven’s strained from watching me die repeatedly, Thorne’s pulled so tight it was fraying, Draven’s degrading from the clinical assessment that there was no escape.
They were breaking. One by one. And by dawn when the Fae sealed me away they’d shatter completely.
I’d die alone. Be imprisoned alone. Fight The Root alone for eternity.
The thought was worse than the actual dying part somehow.
"You’re catastrophizing." Riven’s voice came from behind me and I turned to find him standing there with that patient expression that had gotten me through so much.
"I’m being realistic." The distinction didn’t exist anymore. "In six hours I become a door. Get sealed in a prison with ancient evil. Fight it forever while you all—" I had to stop because my throat was doing that thing where it closed.
"While we all what?" He moved closer. "Watch? Grieve? Move on?"
Move on. Right. Like they could just move on from losing their mate to eternal imprisonment.
"I need—" The words stuck. "I need to tell you something. Before. While I still can."
He sat beside me and his hand found mine, and through the bond I felt his patience mixing with absolute devastation.
"I love you." The confession came out broken. "All of you. I know I’ve never said it directly but I do. I love you and Kael and Draven and Thorne and I’m sorry I’m leaving you and I’m sorry the oath is destroying the bonds and I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to fight this."
"You are strong enough." His voice was gentle. Certain. "You’re just not free enough. The oath—" He had to stop. "The oath is the chain. Not your strength."
The chain. Right. The fealty oath that would compel me to obey when Eirlys commanded me to open the door.
"I’m scared." The admission came out small. "I’m terrified of being alone in there. Of fighting The Root forever with no one. Of—" I couldn’t finish.
"I know." He pulled me against his chest and through the bond I felt his absolute conviction that if he could trade places he would. "I wish—" His voice broke. "I wish I could come with you."
Come with me. Right. Except that was impossible because the Fae would seal me alone.
We sat there in silence until Kael appeared, and Riven left without a word because apparently they’d coordinated who got which hour.
"Five hours." Kael’s voice was hollow. "Five hours and the Fae take you."
Five hours. Three hundred minutes. Eighteen thousand seconds.
"I love you." I heard myself say it again because if I only had five hours I needed him to know. "I should have said it before. Should have—" ƒreewebɳovel.com
"I know." He cut me off. "I’ve always known. Through the bond. I just—" He had to stop and I felt his control cracking. "I just wanted more time to hear you say it."
More time. Right. The thing we didn’t have.
He pulled me close and his mouth found mine and the kiss was desperate and broken and tasted like goodbye, and through the bond I felt his absolute refusal to accept this.
"There has to be another way." His voice was rough. "Some escape. Some—"
"There isn’t." I cut him off because someone had to say it. "The oath is absolute. The Fae planned this. I’m the door and the lock and by dawn I’ll be—" My voice broke. "Gone."
Gone. Sealed away. Fighting alone forever.
"I won’t let them take you." His voice went flat. Final. Alpha King certainty. "I’ll find a way."
He left before I could ask what way, and Thorne took his place.
Four hours until dawn.
"Don’t want to talk." Thorne’s rough voice was strained. "Just—" He pulled me into his lap and his hand found my ankle. His grounding spot. "Stay. For now."
Stay. Right. I could do that.
We sat in silence and through his bond I felt feral rage mixing with helplessness mixing with absolute refusal to let me go, and when he finally spoke his voice was barely a whisper.
"Ours." Just the one word. "You’re ours. They can’t have you."
Except they could. The oath gave them absolute claim.
Three hours until dawn and Draven appeared, and Thorne left reluctantly.
"I’ve been researching." Draven’s voice was clinical but I caught the desperation underneath. "Every record of fealty oaths. Every historical precedent. There has to be—" He stopped. "There’s nothing. No loophole. No escape. The oath is—"
"Absolute." I finished for him. "I know."
"I’m sorry." The words sounded foreign in his mouth. "For not finding a way. For failing to—"
"You didn’t fail." I cut him off. "The Fae are just—they planned this for centuries. We had days. The math was never going to math."
The math was never going to math. Story of my life.
"I love you." I told him because I’d told the others and he deserved to hear it too. "All of you. I know that doesn’t change anything but—"
"It changes everything." His voice was quiet. "And nothing. We love you too. Which makes losing you—" He couldn’t finish.
Unbearable. Losing me was unbearable and I was going to have to watch them break when the Fae sealed me away.
Two hours until dawn.
Kael came back with all three of the others following, and when they surrounded me on the roof I felt the bonds pulse—weak, fractured, but still there.
"I have a plan." Kael’s voice was controlled. Too controlled. "To stop this. To keep you from becoming the door."
A plan. Right. Except we’d been looking for plans for hours and found nothing.
"What kind of plan?" My voice came out cautious.
"The oath breaks when you die." Simple. Direct. Devastating. "So we kill you. Before dawn. Before the Fae can use you. You die free instead of imprisoned."
Die free. He wanted to kill me to save me from eternal imprisonment.
The logic was sound. The execution was horrifying.
"No." Three voices through the bonds. Riven, Draven, Thorne all rejecting it.
"It’s the only option." Kael’s voice stayed level. "Death breaks the oath. Prevents her from being the door. The Root can’t cross without her. Reality is saved. She’s free. These are better terms than Fae imprisonment." frёeweɓηovel.coɱ
Better terms. Death instead of eternal prison.
My brain was trying to process that dying might actually be the escape and coming up with static.
"I’ll do it." Kael continued. "Quick. Painless. You won’t—"
"Absolutely not." Eirlys’s voice cut across the roof and we all turned to find them standing there with that sharp smile. "Did you truly think we wouldn’t monitor the Hybrid Queen in her final hours?"
Monitor. Right. Privacy was dead along with autonomy.
"You cannot kill her." Eirlys’s voice carried command weight. "Hybrid Queen—defend yourself against any who try to harm you. This is direct order."
The oath flared and locked into place, and suddenly I knew with absolute certainty that if anyone tried to kill me I’d fight back.
I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. The oath would compel defense.
"No." The word tore out of me. "You can’t—"
"I can." Eirlys smiled. "And I have. Try to kill her now, Alpha King. See what happens."
Through Kael’s bond I felt his rage spike, felt him considering it anyway.
"Don’t." My voice broke. "Please. The oath will make me fight you. Will make me hurt you. Don’t make me—"
But he was already moving.
And the oath was already compelling me to defend.