Free Web NovelChapter 7: More Than Lines of Code [2]
*Tzzzz—*
"Argh... Damn it."
Zen let out a frustrated groan as the fragile grey magic circle hovering above his palm shattered into tiny sparks of essence.
’Another failed attempt.’
The [Essence Shield] spell he’d been trying to cast for the last 5-6 hours had collapsed again just before the final node could snap into its place.
He let out a long sigh as he slumped back against the worn-out leather seat of the carriage.
Mournwood Thicket was a long journey of nearly seven hours from Thornhaven City, and he had hoped to make this travel time count.
But instead, he’d spent the entire journey relearning just how deeply screwed he was.
It had been six hours, and he couldn’t even perform the most basic defensive spell -- [Essence Shield]
’What am I doing wrong?’ fгee𝑤ebɳoveɭ.cøm
Was he underestimating his Curse, Soul Drought?
But he had seen Mikael perform this spell several times from the patchy memories he inherited from him.
Even though the spell he used to perform was a thin, weak one, he could still perform it.
So why? Why couldn’t he do the same?
He knew all the principles, all the geometrical sequence of the magic circle, its essence density, the anchor nodes --
Heck, he could even see the entire blueprint of the spell as clear as day in his mind with the help of his Divine Grade Spell Casting Talent.
So why?
His Talent provided him with the most intuitive comprehension of any spell he had seen before.
Yet the moment he tried to execute it..... it broke apart.
It was like...
It was like his body was rejecting essence itself.
Was it because his soul was not from this world?
"Argh.. this is so frustrating."
He muttered, dragging his hands across his face.
’Let’s try it again one more time.’
He straightened on his seat and closed his eyes, letting out a small breath.
He reached inward toward his grey essence core located near his Dantian.
Even finding it felt like a chore.
He slowly coaxed it, gently trying to call it towards his fingertips.
’...Come on.’
It took him a minute of intense concentration just to drag out a single thread of essence.
He could feel his Willpower straining against the Curse.
His essence moved slowly through his meridians like thick tar.
His jaws clenched as sweat beaded on his temple.
Every fiber of his being wanted to relax and let the energy dissipate back.
But he pressed on.
He refused to let it go as he stubbornly guided the thread down his arms.
A faint grey-white glow formed on his fingertips.
His Divine-grade Talent hummed in the back of his mind, feeding him the information.
Slowly, a thin glowing outer circle formed above his palm.
Zen focused, forcing his essence into a precise pattern from his memories.
He started connecting the internal nodes, drawing the lines from one point to the next.
His arms trembled.
’Just a little more.’
He gritted his teeth.
The final connection was just inches away.
*Drip! Drip! Drip!*
Red drops of blood flowed from his nose, dotting his black trousers.
He was running low on essence from practicing continuously.
But he didn’t stop.
He was just at the last step.
This was also the furthest he had reached.
Just a little more.
He could already see a complete spell in his mind.
An elegant weave of crystallized energy into a shimmering barrier.
But just as he was about to finish the spell --
*Tzzzz--*
It broke apart into shimmering sparks of grey essence.
The spell recoiled back into his palm with a stinging sensation.
"...Fuck this shit!"
Zen pulled his hair in frustration.
His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths.
He had overdone it.
Even after doing all this --
Why wasn’t it enough?
What was he doing wrong?
He replayed the sequence in his head again and again.
It should have worked.
Unless he’d misunderstood the spell structure.
Unless the flaw wasn’t in the spell structure... but in him.
’Maybe I’m not cut out for this.’
’Maybe I will never be able to go back?’
Several negative thoughts spiraled in his mind, each one darker than before.
Purple scales began to form on the left side of his neck, slowly spreading towards his cheek.
How easy it would be if he just ended it here.
Negative thoughts kept surfacing in his mind.
Another.
Then another.
Then another.
’Should I just... end it here?’
One moment of pain and all this-- fear, confusion, this borrowed identity -- all would disappear.
His hands slowly moved towards his own throat before he even realized it.
He should have made this decision way before.
Why was he even trying?
’Why was I even trying to go back?’
’....Oh, right.’
’For my parents.’
’My parents.’
How foolish was he?
Parents?
’Huh?’
W-what?
What happened.
Zen gasped as if he suddenly woke up from a long dream, his heart hammering against his ribs like a caged bird.
As he pressed his hand against his chest.
’What was that?’
’Why was I thinking like that?’
Since when was he suicidal?
His grey gaze suddenly fell on the window of the carriage as he saw his own reflection.
Purple scales now covered his neck, creeping upward toward his cheeks.
His eyes widened...
’Scales? What is--’
It was just then that he realized what was happening.
How could he forget the most basic thing about the Eclipsed power system?
He had been too caught up in Mikael’s identity.
Every awakened in the Eclipsed Realm knew one cruel truth about the awakened.
All awakeners are susceptible to the pull of negative emotions, which could lead them into the darkness and losing control.
And this pull increased as you rank up.
The higher your rank, the deeper you climb into the power, the stronger the pull becomes.
It feeds on fear, anger, and despair until even the strongest could lose themselves entirely.
Some called it Awakeners’ second Curse, or some just called it the price of playing god.
That was why, in-game, you also needed to put stat points in your Willpower.
’I need to be careful next time.’
But why did he suddenly get those negative thoughts?
It was just then that he realized that the carriage had stopped a long time ago and he could see the thick dark trees from the window.
’Ah.. so that was the reason.’
He was already in Mournwood Thicket.
Mournwood Forest had a negative buff effect that amplified negative emotions.
He survived only because his Willpower was abnormally high for his Rank.
If not for that, he would have lost control and become a monster.
He pulled out his status screen.
[Willpower: 2.1]
Almost equivalent to a Low Tier 2 awakener, even though his rank was only Mid Tier 1.
He closed his eyes, focusing on his Willpower, and the scales on his face began to recede slowly.
’It will likely take some time.’
He took out his handkerchief from his jacket and wiped his bloody nose.
He opened the carriage door and stepped out under the night sky.
He saw Thomas, the driver with a thick beard, unconscious.
’He was also probably overwhelmed by the negative emotions and drove us straight into the forest.’
’Well, he’ll probably be safe since he’s not an Awakener. Otherwise, he’d have lost control and turned into a monster.’
’I’ll just wake him and send him back.’
He lifted the collar of his white linen shirt to hide the scales on his neck.
He leaned forward, intending to shake the man’s shoulder.
But just as his fingers were about to make contact, a sudden chill ran down his spine.
Without thinking, he flung himself sideways as Thomas’s head snapped around and, in a single violent motion, lunged at him.
Zen dodged it at the very last moment as he whipped his head where Thomas landed.
Thomas was crouched low, his eyes glowing red as he growled at him.
Grrrrrrr--
Zen’s grey eyes widened in horror.
’H-He was an Awakener.’
*****
