Cultivating in Honkai!

Chapter 438: Chapter 437: The Complexities of Cultivating Immortality

It has been a long time since I asked myself:

Why am I cultivating immortality?

The answer couldn’t be anything complicated. All I ever wanted is to have the power to write the ending—the power to erase any bad endings that may ever come. This is my biggest motivation. The answer dictated by my heart. It is the greatest purpose I have realized.

I will write an ending I am happy with!

So why...

Why am I feeling like this?

The suffocating sensation in my chest couldn’t be brushed off. I didn’t have anything to say to these emotions that spawned out of nowhere. I processed the things that happened first, and then focused on intercepting the information related to my deteriorating mental state.

The destruction of two Venerated Daos resulted in total blackout. After an unknown time had passed, my consciousness awoke. I found myself constrained in a pitch-black space. I did a brief investigation and found it to be my mental landscape. It bore the same nature as that of IX’s fragments colliding with my Void Refinement Realm mental power back then.

The only thing different now is the feeling of immense sorrow. Guilt drowned every fiber of my being. I felt a level of self-loathing enough to kill myself countless times. Over and over again, the sensation of bumping my head against something stung me greatly. I was baffled by these sensations at first, but the more I investigated its causality, the more I understood things.

It all came from me.

To be specific, it originated from my future projection. Regret, guilt, self-loathing, self-blame... all of it came from my future projection. These emotions are intense enough to the point it becomes tangible. It is extremely similar to Seele’s heavy pressure whenever her emotions get out of control. But it is thousands of times worse than that.

An uncontrolled emotional fluctuation of a Tribulation Transcendence Realm is enough to create a world. It is not an exaggeration. Turbulent emotions would carry their godly mental power, in turn creating a world from scratch.

That level of power made me subconsciously tighten my right hand into a fist. Why, even with such power, did he feel these kinds of emotions strongly? Why isn’t it enough?

What...

What did I do to reach such a state?

I would put my life first before others’. The damning sensation of me wanting to lodge a blade deep to my chest said so otherwise. I failed but survived. The price I paid... I could only think of one possibility as to what it was.

Others died in my stead.

...

...

...

"Fuck... me..."

All sorts of emotions swirled inside my chest. I couldn’t resist squatting down and placing both my palms in my face. The slightly cold sensation emitted by my skin showed my worst fears. My heart dropped cold the moment I thought of it.

The mere thought of Kiana coming into harm is enough to rattle my heart. Knowing she might have died for me...

I will never forgive myself.

No matter the cost, I will come and find a way to bring them back. Even if that meant my complete obliteration—the truest kind of death.

"...Fuck."

I remained in place for a long time. My breathing became unsteady. I am at a loss what to do next. I don’t want others to die for me. I am fucking selfish. I will die for others, but I won’t permit the other way around.

In the end, I am just like Otto Apocalypse—selfish to the extreme!

I...

...

I won’t let it happen.

I won’t let it happen.

I won’t let it happen!!!

BAM-!

The pitch-black space shook. In a moment, it became riddled with cracks and holes. The sense of desolation and helplessness clouding my mind dissipated like a clear sky.

Hum-!

A sense of tranquility flooded my mind. IX represents the past I have overcome; this dreary space the future. The similarities between the two is jarring... hence there is no reason I won’t be able to change the future.

I am at the present. Not in the past, and certainly not in the future.

Whatever it takes...

I will write the ending I want.

*****

Everyone thought subduing the Aeons would be similar to their time with Sa—or a little bit larger than that.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t like that.

The "Sea of Suffering" unleashed at the last moment affected every single high-level cultivator the solar system has. Twenty-four hours passed by since then. The aftermath was suppressed to the minimum. Only the superimposition of the ’Banished Immortal Imprisonment’ and ’Three Thousand World Edict Establishment’ stirred waves.

The subsequent battle inside the Zixiao Palace was perfectly contained by the peak eighth-grade artifact. Its resistance was no joke. It survived two different tribulations. Still, it became noticeably dimmer and inactive. Such was the price to contain Shi Tian’s tribulation energy.

The Federation was quick to act regarding these ’abnormalities’. They didn’t hide it and directly told everyone about the Aeons and how they fought against them. This event started a series of programs regarding the Federation’s military might. Practical training across the Sea of Quanta and the Imaginary Space intensified. Resources began to be tilted towards the military, with their benefits and privileges gradually increasing. Practical Combat became a necessary course in all levels of education.

Simply put, the ’peaceful’ era was no more. Everyone is being prepared to duke it out with enemies from other worlds. In this regard, the greatest management talents lost sleep. That included Theresa, Himeko, Rita, and the retired general Anna.

As for Kiana, she has never set foot outside the Moon residence upon arriving. She brought Shi Tian with her, doing the same nursing to him as before. Everyone didn’t say anything about this. Out of them all, Kiana was the most composed. She wasn’t trifled by the ’Sea of Suffering’ whatsoever.

She knew exactly what her heart wanted.

"Hm..."

Kiana didn’t mind the weight placed atop her lap. She brushed his bangs skillfully. Her large chest blocked her vision beneath, though it didn’t affect Kiana as she memorized every single part of Shi Tian’s body.

All sorts of thoughts flashed in her pair of star-like purple irises. One thing remained consistent—her extreme longing. If it wasn’t for his injuries, she would have been a clingy Tuna already. Only that could resolve her unease.

Fortunately for her...

"You are awake..."

...she has that chance now.