Free Web NovelChapter 44: Wasting The Days To Forget That I’m Losing It
[SERGEI]
Sergei was disgusted.
He was still trying to comprehend, and the only thing he could think of was how weak he had become. How weak everything had proven to be.
He stared at the omega on the floor, like he was not sure what to do.
And this time, he didn’t.
He hadn’t expected this.
Not him stiffening instead of slapping the pills from Katya.
Not him standing still when his beloved kissed his feet.
Not him, confused when Katya went on his knees in a white shirt before him.
God, Sergei was disgusted.
By himself.
He should have stopped Katya. Should have explained.
Hell, he should have been kinder on a morning like this, but his obsession, his possession, his jealousy, his rage, had finally snapped in the omega he wanted to make the happiest.
Sergei had only ever wanted the best for Katya, so he didn’t understand, really.
How Katya would be so terrified of him.
Why Katya would look at him and see danger instead of someone who had come to his aid.
Sergei hadn’t asked for anything in return. He didn’t tell his aides to ask anything from Katya.
The company belonged to Katya.
The power was Katya’s.
Anything that had the Moskowsky name was Katya’s.
Katya’s word was the law.
So even as Sergei stood there still from shock, terrified of doing the wrong thing while Anya screamed for a medic and the secretaries rushed around, he still didn’t understand.
’Am I that bad that he’d rather die than be around me?’ Sergei wondered as the world moved around him.
He just stood there, like an idiot who didn’t know the first thing about anything. He could see the way Katya was being carefully put on the stretcher. The way the elevator doors opened and how Katya disappeared through those doors a second time.
And he hated himself for it, because this time...
This was his doing. fгee𝑤ebɳoveɭ.cøm
He had poisoned the omega’s mind.
He had introduced that much fear in the omega.
And now, there was a chance he would lose the omega, and he was still standing there like he didn’t know what to do.
He was Sergei Moskowsky. He always knew what to do.
But standing in the blood on the white tiles, Sergei hated himself truthfully.
For being a monster.
For being the one who terrified the man he cared for that much.
’How long has he been carrying those pills around?’ Sergei wondered as his chest constricted in so much pain.
Pain that was so unfamiliar to him.
The kind that he hadn’t felt even when he lost Vitya.
This was something else altogether.
And Sergei...
Sergei fell to his knees in defeat.
The reputation he had worked so hard to build was costing him the man he wanted to be beside him for eternity.
The power he never cared about so much was the reason his beloved had chosen to pop pills.
He had been bested by the life he built.
And the worst part was that he couldn’t even fight the perpetrator. Because who was he supposed to fight if not himself? Who was he supposed to bring to book if not himself? Who was he supposed to ruin if not himself?
He had handed the empire over to Katya.
That same empire had almost killed his omega.
Or maybe it wasn’t about the empire.
Maybe it was about Sergei. How cruel he always had been. How unhinged he always showed up.
He should have been kinder today.
God,s he should have been.
But he wasn’t.
And his omega was paying the price for it all.
"Sir... Sir, they’re waiting," Sergei heard Volkov say, but the only thing Sergei could remember was the tears on Katya’s face. How his beautiful omega had cried in pain, and Sergei had stood still like an idiot.
"Sir... They’re on the helipad," Volkov added, and Sergei looked at his secretary, his eyes distraught, his heart still aching in a way that was so foreign to him.
"Tell them to go, Volkov. I’ll take the stairs," Sergei said, shoulders slumped, knees still against the cold floor like he was punishing himself for not doing anything.
For not stopping Katya from kneeling.
For not holding Katya close and never letting him go.
He was a monster. He’d known it for a long time.
But he never thought that he would be the monster that drove his beloved to almost take his life.
"Th... Stairs??" Volkov asked carefully, like he didn’t want to believe Sergei. But at the same time, they both knew that Sergei didn’t have time to lie. He was always a truthful man.
"He needs to get better... I... I hurt him. I can’t be the reason he tries to... I can’t. Go. Anya knows what to do. I’ll catch up," Sergei said as he turned to look at the blood on his executive floor.
The blood was all his fault.
He had no right. He knew it too.
But Gods, was he a desperate man.
"Ma’am, he said he’ll take the stairs," Volkov said into the phone to Anya.
But Sergei didn’t care until he heard Anya’s voice.
"Vladimir... He needs you here. Katya needs you," Anya explained.
Sergei looked at Volkov, then at Rahim, who was trying too hard to keep her mind focused on work but was failing hard.
"Did he... He needs me?" Sergei asked, like the very idea of Katya needing him was insane and very unlikely.
"Do you want him to wake up and think you at Sully wanted to see him dead?" Anya asked calmly, even though her words were the most dangerous kind of thing that Sergei had ever heard in his whole life.
He would never know that Katya died.
Not in any lifetime.
"Anya..." Sergei tried.
"The doctors already stabilized him up here. We don’t have to go to the hospital because I doubt he would want to wake up hooked to IVs again in a disinfected room. Come with me, Sergei.
"If not for your sake, then for him. To tell him that you would never want him dead. Because if he doesn’t hear you say that... He might... He might try again," Anya said carefully, and Sergei’s breath hitched in his throat.
Try again.
He might try again.
No.
He wouldn’t let that happen.
He wouldn’t live with himself if he let it happen.
"I... I’m coming," Sergei said roughly before he got off the floor, his eyes never leaving the blood on the floor.
He had never wanted this.
Not Katya being so scared of him.
Not Katya choosing to leave instead of living the life Sergei had curated for him.
And it hurts.
Because Sergei didn’t understand.
No matter how hard he tried, he didn’t. That horrified him. Because if the man he wanted was choosing exit over staying, then there was certainly no hope for Sergei.
"I’m on my way," Sergei said, straightening up like he wasn’t already crashing down hard because of what had happened with Katya. He wanted to make himself believe that composure was worth it.
And maybe it would be.
Only that when Sergei got to the helipad...
When Sergei saw his beloved inside, his composure cracked.
Strangely enough...
No one judged him.
They should have.
At least that was what he thought as they took off for Katya’s residence.
Perhaps they would when Katya woke up, no?
It wasn’t like Sergei didn’t deserve it, yeah?
