Free Web NovelChapter 148: Indecision & Doubt
There was no one here who could help him look for Rin and going back to the palace to bring a search party would take too much time. If he asked for help and his or her identity is revealed, she could be in even more danger from thieves and the like. He had no option but to go search for Rin himself. The biggest question was where to look.
Ren looked down the path that the crowd seemed to have travel. If Rin was swept up by the crowd, then she probably went that way, he thought before he began running at full speed down the path. The path was quite clear of people now as most people had already left. Running past a couple of men, Ren paused and asked them if they had seen a woman that resembled Rin.
“Sorry, we’re not sure...” the man replied, shaking his head.
“Thank you...” Ren thanked them softly.
It wasn’t like he was expecting any leads. Rin was dressed up well enough, but she still looked just like any more well-off commoner. There was nothing on her that would be memorable to a passerby. Even if someone had seen Rin, they probably did not remember her. He cursed softly under his breath as he racked his brain on how to find her.
He prayed that she was safe and uninjured, that was his first and foremost wish. Ren continued down the path on his search for Rin. After a while of searching in the area, he was still unable to find her or any traces of her. He was sure that he had searched everywhere in the close vicinity of the festival. He stopped in his tracks as he reconsidered the situation.
If Rin was swept away by the crowd, then she would still be somewhere around here. If she was uninjured and able to walk, she should be searching for him as well. However, since Rin was not used to being in town, she is probably lost. If she is lost, the most obvious thing that she should do is to make her way to the main road, which is where he was standing. However, no matter how much he looked, he couldn’t find Rin on the main path.
That can only mean two things. First, for some reason, she couldn’t come to the main road such as she was injured and unable to move. That didn’t seem so likely because if she had fallen down somewhere along the path, then he would have found her already or someone else would have helped her and brought her back to the festival grounds.
The alternative scenario sent a chill down his spine when he considered it. Now that he really thought about it, it isn’t entirely impossible. She’s outside the palace and there are no guards. There is no one with her to watch and control her. If she wants to escape and go back home, now’s her best chance to do it. Never again will she ever get a chance like this where all the conditions seem to support her escape.
Before he knew it both his hands were clenched in tight fists. Coming to this festival had been nothing but a big mistake from the start. He never should have invited her here. Taking her out of the palace walls was a deadly mistake.
He let out a long breath and stared up at the sky. The sky was tinged with orange light now and the sun will be setting soon. He still couldn’t find Rin and had pretty much exhausted his options on where to look.
Rin...did you...run away from me?
...
What is happening to me? My body can’t seem to move...
I was still in the small alley and somehow, I had ended up sitting down and curling myself into a small ball to hide in the corner. Why am I hiding? I had completely no idea.
Ren...is he still looking for me? I had no sense of the exact time, but I knew from the orange sky above that the sun is starting to set and it would be dark soon. Regardless, I couldn’t get my body to move. The reason perhaps was simple, I couldn’t move because I didn’t know where I wanted to go.
I had always thought that I wanted to escape from the palace and the capital so that I could go home. However, now that it was possible for me to do just that, my body just wouldn’t move from this spot. When I stood up my legs shook so badly that I had to sit down. What is happening to me? freewebnovёl.ƈom
I used to cry, and it used to pain me when I thought of spending my life in the palace. In the past, I remembered yearning to go home and many nights when I was alone, I would go out to the gardens to gaze up at the moon while I thought of my hometown. Lately, I don’t recall having those thoughts and feelings at all. Honestly, I don’t even remember the last time that I spent the night alone to think of my hometown.
Ren was always with me, and recently, I have almost never spent the night alone. I took in a deep breath, and I realized that I was about to cry. It used to kill me on the inside to think of being locked away like some prisoner in the palace; however, now it was killing me inside when I thought about leaving the palace. More accurately, I knew deep down that it would hurt me endlessly if I left Ren.
I remembered when I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like living in the palace with Ren. Everything just felt out of place and uncomfortable. The palace rules, people’s expectations, and customs that I was not used to. Ren’s cold and barbaric attitude. I used to hate it all. I tried and failed and struggled at many things. I got into serious trouble countless times. Yet now that I could leave, I couldn’t imagine what life would be like if I went back home.
What would my life be like without Ren?
Ren...he’s probably so worried and he’s probably still out there looking for me...
--To be continued...
