Free Web NovelChapter 432: Chapter 462: Letting Go
Poor Shen Yi felt as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. Seeing Qin Jiao sitting there, engrossed in her studies, he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt, let alone voice what was really on his mind.
In the end, all he could do was clutch a book and look at Qin Jiao pitifully.
Annoyed by his staring, Qin Jiao said with a sigh, "If you don’t hurry up and study, do you not want to get first place on the finals?"
"I’m reading, I’m reading!" Shen Yi reluctantly picked up his textbook and started to read.
When they were tired from studying, they turned off the lights to sleep. Their wedding was tomorrow, so they had to get up early.
As Shen Yi lay in the darkness, just about to start his practiced routine of counting sheep, Qin Jiao spoke up. "Shen Yi, in our past life, we were married for so many years. Did you never once think about sleeping with me?"
They had actually tried once. They were already lying in bed together, but Shen Yi had suddenly gotten up and left.
Qin Jiao had been crushed by that incident. She hadn’t been entirely willing in the first place, so for her to take the initiative—only for it to end like that—had left her rather vexed. She never initiated anything again after that.
The mention of their past life instantly extinguished any other thoughts in Shen Yi’s mind. He said guiltily, "Jiao Jiao, I’m sorry. I don’t know what was wrong with me back then..."
"Why did you run away that time?"
The question was piercing. Shen Yi immediately fell silent. After a long, long pause, he finally said softly, "I felt like you didn’t love me back then."
As a hot-tempered young master, his heart had skipped a beat when he first saw his wife fresh from her bath.
But then he thought about how everyone was pressuring him to have a child, to produce an heir, as if he were on his last legs.
His temper was already bad to begin with, and that pressure pushed his rebellious streak to its limit. Suddenly, even the sight of his beautiful wife was irritating. What frustrated him even more was that his own body was reacting to her.
Mortified and furious, he cursed himself and everyone else before scrambling to the guest bathroom to take a long, cold shower.
He only found out later that his beautiful wife had cried that night.
And it was from that night on that he completely pushed her away.
So now, how could Shen Yi possibly have any romantic thoughts? He just kept repeating cautiously, "Jiao Jiao, I’m sorry. Back then, I was only concerned with my own pride. I never considered your feelings at all."
In the darkness, Qin Jiao’s expression was unreadable.
She said, "I know. It wasn’t just me; you never considered the feelings of anyone around you. You were hot-tempered, sensitive, easily angered, and acted with reckless abandon. It was as if... that was your assigned persona."
"Persona?"
"Yes. Like a forced plotline that dictated you had to be that kind of person."
"Then how did I...?"
"Now, you’ve broken free from that fixed persona. You’ve regained your freedom and become the real Shen Yi."
In the darkness, a flicker of relief crossed Qin Jiao’s eyes.
It was a sense of release regarding the Shen Yi from their past life, and also, for herself.
After all, she had her own major issues, which was why her past life had been so miserable. Even if her decisions and thoughts had been baffling at times, the good thing was that everything was back on the right track now. Her destiny was in her own hands.
A fresh start.
A small smile touched the corners of Qin Jiao’s lips as she said softly, "Shen Yi, good night."
Shen Yi wanted to say more, but then he thought about it. The two of them could now be together day and night, saying "good morning" and "good night" to each other. That was already better than anything.
He murmured in agreement and said gently, "Good night."
