Free Web NovelChapter 40: Chapter 40: Despised Soil
###Chapter 40: Worthless Dirt
She didn’t know how long she had been asleep when she felt Zachary Hawthorne wrap his arms around her from behind.
"Nina," Zachary Hawthorne’s voice was tinged with desire as he called her name.
Nina Wainwright’s body ached, making it unsuitable for them to do what men and women do, but she still said nothing.
"If it hurts, you don’t have to move. I’ll do the work," Zachary Hawthorne said, his voice raspy.
Nina Wainwright hummed in agreement, not refusing him. But as Zachary Hawthorne made his moves, she remained unresponsive. After a while, Zachary lost interest. He turned on the light, sat on the edge of the bed, and looked down at the unnervingly calm Nina.
"Don’t you like me anymore?" Zachary Hawthorne asked, taking her hand and stroking it gently. "I need you to tell me the truth. If you lie, I’ll deal with Adrian Pemberton immediately."
Nina Wainwright looked up at him. "How do you want me to act for you to believe I like you?"
The moment she asked the question, he already had his answer.
"Nina, are you still jealous of Luna Sterling? Is that why you’re like this?" Zachary Hawthorne decided to clear the air.
Nina Wainwright always had a way of torturing him, of putting him in a foul mood. fɾēewebnσveℓ.com
"You and her are perfectly innocent, so what is there for me to be jealous of? You aren’t even jealous of me and Adrian Pemberton, so why should I be? I won’t stop you from having female friends, as long as no one ends up pregnant." ’What choice do I have but to force myself to be magnanimous?’
’When I was jealous, he never even bothered to explain himself. Why is he asking such pointless questions now?’
"I didn’t come home today and left you here all alone, so you’re holding a grudge, but you don’t want to tell me about it. Who are you planning to tell?" Zachary Hawthorne asked, his face cold, but his lips were curved into a smile.
Nina Wainwright suddenly felt a surge of irritation.
"Then what the hell do you want? When I get angry and show I care, you tell me to remember my place. Now that I’m remembering my place, you say I’m holding a grudge. Why don’t you teach me, then? What am I supposed to do?"
Zachary Hawthorne suddenly laughed. "Now, isn’t this better? I really don’t like it when you’re so lifeless."
The moment he finished speaking, his phone rang again.
Nina Wainwright pretended she heard nothing.
Zachary Hawthorne picked up his phone and answered. "What’s wrong?"
"I’ll be right there." He hung up and immediately got out of bed.
Seeing Nina Wainwright with her back to him, he said, "Something’s come up. I’ll be back soon."
In reality, he had broken his promises many times recently. Nina Wainwright had no expectations at all.
She was completely numb. It didn’t matter to her when Zachary Hawthorne came back, or if he came back at all.
When she didn’t answer, Zachary Hawthorne got back on the bed, leaned over, and hugged her. "I promise this time. How about a kiss?"
Nina Wainwright’s hands tightened on the blanket. ’He’s utterly humiliating me.’
’He takes a call from his precious moonlight, rushes out to meet her in the middle of the night, yet still expects me to be the dutiful wife.’
If he weren’t threatening her with Adrian Pemberton’s future, Nina Wainwright truly wanted to ask Zachary Hawthorne what he took her for.
’Does he think I’m not made of flesh and blood? That I don’t have feelings? That I can’t get jealous?’
"Nina," Zachary Hawthorne called again.
Nina Wainwright opened her eyes, stared at the window, and asked, "What’s wrong with her?"
"Some people are bullying her at the hotel. I’m going to check on it," Zachary Hawthorne said.
Nina Wainwright let out a laugh. "She’s alone? I recall you have many friends who hang out with her every day. Why is it that she specifically called you?"
Zachary Hawthorne let go of her, his tone laced with displeasure. "Are you saying she’s lying to me? You think too poorly of her."
"Is that what I meant? Zachary, when I call you, is there a special ringtone?" Nina Wainwright asked, turning her head with difficulty.
"She set it herself. You can set one too," Zachary Hawthorne said.
"Do you even know what boundaries are?"
"Enough. I ask for a kiss, and you drag it into all this?" Zachary Hawthorne cut her off impatiently.
Nina Wainwright fell silent. She looked away and pulled the blanket over herself.
’I shouldn’t have argued with him, but I just couldn’t hold it in.’
’That was Zachary Hawthorne for you—always giving her a taste of honey, only to slap her in the face a moment later.’
’Doesn’t he know? Doesn’t he realize that the sweet morsels he offers can make me happy, but his constant meetings with other women cause me pain?’
Zachary Hawthorne turned and left.
The door closed. Huddled under the blankets, Nina Wainwright found that the world had suddenly become quiet. She no longer had to face Zachary Hawthorne’s contradictory and unreasonable demands.
About an hour after he left,
Adrian Pemberton sent Nina Wainwright a video.
Nina Wainwright opened it and saw Zachary Hawthorne smashing a bottle over someone’s head. Behind him stood Luna Sterling, as beautiful as a delicate rose.
The rest was just chaotic noise and flickering images, but it was clear that two groups had clashed, with Zachary Hawthorne at the center of it all.
Just as she finished watching, Adrian Pemberton’s call came through.
Nina Wainwright calmly answered, her tone gentle. "How have you been lately? Has anyone at the hospital been giving you trouble?"
"Miss Grant sent me the video." Adrian Pemberton didn’t answer her question, instead offering an explanation. "There were a lot of them. They’re at the hospital now. I did some asking around—Zachary Hawthorne got three stitches in his hand."
’Three stitches for fighting over another woman.’
"Adrian, thank you for telling me this, but I’m not going to divorce him." Nina Wainwright’s voice was devoid of any emotion.
The man she married wasn’t ordinary. Even if she gathered all the evidence in the world, she could never win a case against Zachary Hawthorne.
And honestly, she couldn’t bring herself to go that far with him anyway.
She hated Zachary Hawthorne, but only because she couldn’t have his love. In the beginning, she was the one who had stubbornly insisted on marrying him.
Back then, Zachary Hawthorne didn’t love her at all, even though they were husband and wife, even though he slept with her time and time again.
It wasn’t until she saw the video that she finally understood.
Zachary Hawthorne loved Luna Sterling. Luna was the one he cherished and protected. She, on the other hand, was merely the woman who held the title of wife.
What he wanted from her, what he needed, was always purely physical.
An unbearable bitterness constricted Nina Wainwright’s chest, but she couldn’t cry.
"Nina, if you need help..."
"I love him. I can’t bring myself to take that step. Besides, I don’t have the resources. I can’t win, and I would just end up dragging everyone around me down. Please thank Catherine Grant for me, but tell her not to do this again. It’s too dangerous," Nina Wainwright said softly.
Adrian Pemberton was silent for a long time before he finally replied, his voice hoarse, "Alright. But if one day you decide to, you have to call me. I’ll help you."
Nina Wainwright replied, "Okay. Thank you."
She hung up, took a deep breath, and deleted the video.
But when she closed her eyes again, she couldn’t help but picture Zachary Hawthorne standing up for Luna Sterling.
She was the flawless moonlight.
’And what about me?’
’The worthless dirt that offered itself up to be trampled by him?’
Nina Wainwright’s heart ached. She had told herself she didn’t care, but she couldn’t stop herself from making comparisons, from feeling the pain.
Even though she knew Zachary Hawthorne would never care about her feelings in this lifetime, she still wished he could see her pain.
*****
