There Must Be Something Wrong With This Game!

Chapter 52: Chapter 52: I’m Here

Xuanxiao Mountain was shrouded in mist. Pedestrians on the road hurried along, and upon seeing Duan Fei and the others, they didn’t stop to pay them any mind. Everyone looked incredibly busy.

Stepping into a convenience store, Duan Fei saw a portly clerk sitting behind the counter, watching television.

The TV volume was turned up high. The host spoke in a somewhat manic voice, "Neighboring Sam Town has already fallen to the weirdness, and we’re falling behind! Those damn sacrifices haven’t offered up their lives yet, and we can’t wait any longer!"

"Duan Someone 2, that’s right, I’m talking to you! Hurry up and offer yourselves willingly! If you do it now, you can get a five-dollar shopping coupon. Wait any longer and you’ll get nothing!"

"The great Evil God is marvelous! The great Evil God is pure! The great Evil God is a little boy, cold on the outside but warm on the inside, with the carrot of the Celestial Kingdom hanging from his waist! Let us praise the Evil God! La la la la la~"

Watching the unhinged host, Duan Fei felt that the Evil God’s influence in this instance was even stronger than he’d imagined.

From the looks of it, the Evil God had already taken control of the entire town and was now using the residents to entice Duan Fei and the others into self-sacrifice.

Self-sacrifice holds special significance in religious belief. A willing sacrifice would bring the Evil God far greater benefits, which is why it would try all sorts of methods to force Duan Fei and the others into it.

The portly clerk watched the TV with a numb expression. He then changed the channel, muttering, "The programming these days is getting more and more boring."

Though he looked dull and listless, the clerk seemed to have retained some shred of his sanity.

Duan Fei tapped on the glass countertop. Just as he was about to speak, the portly clerk said, "Take whatever you want. It’s free."

"...So generous?"

"My boss has gone crazy anyway. He ran off to the Church to marry his pet dog. What’s even crazier is that the Priest actually agreed to it, and then a third party showed up to crash the wedding. I don’t know what’s going on, but it feels like the whole town has become one giant film set. Everyone has a role in a horror movie, except me."

"...What do you get up to in your spare time?"

"Not much. Just bad-mouthing the carpenter’s kid, worshipping a Demon or two, and hanging posters of Slaanesh in my room. Pretty much nothing."

"Jeez, even a Demon would be a huge fan of yours. No wonder the Evil God can’t control you."

The convenience store was well-stocked, with every kind of snack imaginable.

After gathering up all sorts of supplies and stuffing them into his backpack, Duan Fei looked at the clerk as they were about to leave. "Look, since everyone in this town is crazy, there’s no reason for you to be stuck here. Interested in coming with us? We can go find a place to kick back and relax."

The clerk looked at Duan Fei, considered it for a moment, and said, "That’s a great idea. Let’s go."

Duan Fei extended a friendly hand to the portly clerk. "Duan Someone 2," he said.

"Jack," the clerk replied.

Now that they had recruited a sane NPC, the next step of their plan became much simpler.

Guided by Jack, a local, the group arrived at a private movie theater.

The theater’s owner was nowhere to be found, but the entrance was covered in bloodstains. It looked like he’d met a grisly end.

The private theater was located in the heart of an abandoned hospital. Despite being in a derelict location, it had its own generator and air conditioning. The room, large enough for seven, was furnished with comfortable leather sofas, and the surround sound system made for an immersive experience.

Settling into a chair, Bald Qiang said with satisfaction, "My greatest wish in life has always been to watch a movie here with friends. Too bad I’ve only managed to achieve half of it."

"Couldn’t find the theater?" Duan Fei asked.

"Couldn’t find any friends."

"...My condolences."

After asking about their goal and learning that Duan Fei and his group wanted to find the Evil God’s weakness by watching horror movies, Jack remarked, "Your idea is a little crazy, but I like it."

After searching through a collection of videotapes, Jack found one and said to the group, "This one, *Natural Born Killer*, is pretty good. And the plot is a bit like what you’ve been through. It’s about a madman with a chainsaw who goes around killing people—specifically, the people who abused him as a child. Overall, the film has some logic to it; it’s not just a pure slasher flick."

"Mm, let’s go with that one," Duan Fei nodded immediately.

’I have to admit,’ Duan Fei thought, ’even though we recruited this NPC, Jack, by accident, his usefulness is beyond my wildest expectations.’

As a lover of gallows humor, Jack was familiar with almost every type of horror movie. Just from hearing about what Duan Fei’s group had gone through, he could draw parallels to hundreds of films. The idea was that by watching them, they could identify the paranormal phenomena they’d encountered and find a corresponding solution from the movies.

The movie *Natural Born Killer* wasn’t particularly scary, but it was incredibly bloody and violent.

It was as if the director had robbed a blood bank for the film. Each victim’s blood loss was comparable to that of an elephant; even a tiny cut would result in a geyser of blood. It lent the movie a certain comedic flair.

Even Little Fatty, who was normally terrified of ghost movies, was roaring with laughter.

The peaceful atmosphere lasted for a good while—right up until Little Fatty downed a bottle of soda and realized his bladder was at its breaking point.

Muttering a curse at the developers of *Abyss*, Little Fatty got up and asked, "Does anyone need to use the restroom? I’m not scared or anything, I’m just worried you guys might be."

"Let’s go," Duan Fei said, getting up.

Jinghong, who had been leaning comfortably against Duan Fei, shot Little Fatty a look of displeasure. "Try anything," she whispered, "and I’ll kill you."

"...That’s a weird thing to think, don’t you think? We’re both guys! What am I gonna do to him?" Little Fatty asked, bewildered.

"An enemy is an enemy. Gender has nothing to do with it."

"Duan Someone, you need to get your childhood sweetheart under control! Her possessiveness is pathologically insane."

"Seems pretty normal to me."

"You’re sick in the head too!"

"Keep talking and I won’t go with you."

"Bro, I was wrong."

Sucking up to him, Little Fatty grabbed Duan Fei and headed for the restroom outside.

The restroom wasn’t far from the screening room. Little Fatty rushed in and immediately began to relieve himself, shouting to Duan Fei at the door, "Duan Someone, you there?"

"I’m here."

"And whatever you do, don’t say you’re not here! And you have to keep saying you are!"

"Don’t worry. Got it."

"You there?"

"Here! I’m here!"

"Duan Someone 2, are you there?"

Duan Fei was about to answer when he suddenly realized something was wrong.

’Little Fatty knows my name is Duan Someone. He would never add a ’2’ when calling me.’

Duan Fei turned his head and saw the tip of a chainsaw peeking out from around the corner of the hallway.

A burly figure lurked in the darkness, just waiting for Duan Fei to answer before rushing out to play a little game of "let’s split up"—literally.

’Looking at the figure,’ Duan Fei thought, ’the urban legend is starting for real.’

Shouting, "I’m here!" Duan Fei heard a chainsaw roar to life. A burly, masked man wielding the chainsaw charged right at him.