Free Web NovelChapter 40: The only goal that makes sense to me
"And what is his name?" Alister asked immediately to clarify.
"He is... the god Ophiuchus."
’Ophiuchus? That’s the thirteenth zodiac sign that was removed from the usual standard circle of 12 zodiac signs.’
"I see. Но that is to say he was not the strongest; that’s clear because there were three stronger than him, but was he the smartest?" he asked out of curiosity to understand who was the strongest and who was the smartest among the gods in the past.
"I definitely can’t say who was smarter. Because there was Badjal the one-eyed demon-well, not exactly one-eyed, he had two eyes, just one was blind, so he looks with only one eye. He was a real competitor for Ophiuchus in terms of intellect. There was also the goddess Blood without Red; she was also extremely strategically smart," having said these words, she continued: "In any case, there were few gods who were very smart, and among them, of course, was Ophiuchus."
’What are these gods? I’m interested in what happened then, and what really happened that all the gods died, including the three strongest ones.’
’Could this be connected to me? In any case, when I reach my goal of the Primal Truth, I will get all the answers and, of course, power.’
’I don’t know, but not for a single second has this feeling left me-the feeling that says it’s as if I was born specifically for this goal and to achieve it at any cost.’
"Mi... since you know about the gods in such detail, doesn’t it mean that you existed in those times when the gods ruled here?" he asked the most logical and important question of the conversation.
Indeed, if she knows about everything in such detail, and moreover, she said she had many masters, then it is natural to assume she existed in those times.
"Yes, you are right, father, I existed. But the thing is that half of my memories were erased from that terrible incident 800 years ago, and that’s exactly why I don’t remember all the details, how it all was, and the causes of that catastrophe," she said, and for the first time in the conversation, Little Mi looked at her father.
But his eyes were focused on one point; it could be assumed that he immediately began analyzing the new information.
’If her-that is, the ancient sword’s-memories were partially erased, does it mean other ancient swords also know part of those memories?’
’If so, it means the masters of those ancient swords also possess this information... But I don’t know if everyone here knows the information Little Mi told me, or if only the masters of the ancient swords know it and chose not to share it, using it for personal gain instead?’
’In any case, I’ll have to find out once we reach the city whether the residents know this information.’
"Father, I have questions, may I ask you?" Little Mi said suddenly, looking at her father with a cute gaze, even though she knew well that it wouldn’t work on Alister.
But nevertheless, she was now a part of Alister’s own path and his sword, which he would develop in the future -if, of course, such a future came to pass. This was exactly why Alister did not intend to answer very personal questions.
If it so happened that she fell into the hands of other people and they became her masters, she could leak all information about him, especially considering the rules she mentioned—that an ancient sword cannot lie to its master.
But his nature could no longer be hidden; apparently, Little Mi fully knew and realized Alister’s monstrous nature.
"Fine, ask, just nothing too personal; you know I don’t really like those," he replied, immediately setting the necessary boundaries.
"Alright. When I sensed you, there was no compassion, love, friendship, or kindness in your soul. It would seem clear who you are, but I was greatly surprised to find that there is also no chaos, madness, hatred, or even evil in your soul. You feel nothing toward anyone at all. Are you emotionless?" she said with a very sad face, as if she were distressed by this.
"You are right in a sense. I don’t feel things like love or hatred for anyone, but it’s too early to say I’m unfeeling. I feel; I can feel disappointment, pleasure, and so on. The only difference between me and ordinary people is that I have absolute control over my emotions," he said, though it was clear that Little Mi didn’t quite understand Alister’s answer, so he explained it to her in more detail.
"Emotions are not something I discarded as useless. They are simply chemical processes in the body, signals of the nervous system that help one survive or dictate certain behavioral patterns."
"I am not emotionless. I feel anger when my plans collapse, and joy when I achieve success. But these feelings are like ripples on the surface of a lake: they exist, but they do not change the direction of the water’s flow. If you ask if I suppress emotions for the sake of my goal, the answer is ’yes.’ If you ask if I feel anything toward you, toward my enemies, or toward this world-the answer is ’no.’ For me, all of these are merely tools."
"So the question isn’t whether I’m emotionless. The question is how great a price you are willing to pay to achieve what you want. My emotions are too expensive for the goals I have set for myself. Therefore, I do not waste them in vain."
"Now I understand... I know you won’t tell me exactly what the goal is anyway, but can you somehow explain how grand a goal it is?" - said Little Mi
"Grand? The concept of ’greatness’ is merely a decoration that people hang on their desires to justify the life they’ve lived."
"You want to know the scale? Imagine that all living beings in this world are merely ephemeral sparks that flash and go out in the infinite darkness of oblivion. Emperors, sages, tyrants-they all turn to dust, and their names are forgotten faster than the seasons change."
"My goal is not to become the most powerful of this dust or to build an empire that will fall apart in a couple of hundred years. My goal is to break out of this infinite cycle where time devours everything. I want to stand outside the game where Fate itself dictates the rules."
"How grand a goal is it? It is the only goal that makes sense if you have ever realized that everything else-power, fame, suffering, revenge-is just children playing in a sandbox that will be washed away by the tide tomorrow."
"Now answer for yourself: do you still want to know ’how grand it is,’ or are you already smart enough to understand that compared to this goal, it doesn’t matter how many lives are sacrificed to get even one step closer to it?"
These words suddenly burst from the mouth of Alister-a man who had set a single goal for himself... and was ready to achieve it at any cost.
