The King's Mistress

Chapter 181: What Am I To You?

She expected to hear a word of apology, perhaps an explanation. But that didn’t happen. Instead, his expression turned cold. The look of concern he had for her just moments ago disappeared. freёwebnovel.com

"I haven’t come to see you? You never responded to my letters or invitations. Each time I come to see you, your guard said you did not wish to see me! Have I not done enough for you?!"

"Done enough?" She echoed his words.

"Yes! I’ve given you everything. A place to stay, a title, a..."

"I don’t need any of these things, Alistair. All I ever wanted was to be with you? Don’t you get it?"

"I do! But I’m a King! I have a kingdom to oversee, and citizens to manage. A court to look after."

"So that’s it, I’m just a plaything to you? Or something you conquer? Once you have me you can throw me to the side, is that it?"

"That’s not true! Have I not treated you like my equal? You’re the one who’s been avoiding me, so don’t you dare push the blame on me!" Alistair yelled.

Sierra’s eyes grew wide.

"Blame you?" She scoffed, "I would never dare to blame the King of Drakin. His Majesty, is always right, is he not? I’m but a lowly knightess who seduced the King to get in his bed!"

"Why are you saying these things about yourself?"

"Because that’s what everyone thinks of me, is it not?" She sighed as she slumped her shoulders in defeat.

Emotions she had buried deep within her heart were all bubbling to the surface, eager to escape. On the surface, Sierra had never let any of the gossips get to her. But in the past weeks, everything was piling on her.

Not being able to see Alistair.

The rumors that were being spread across the castle. The disapproval by the court and the nobility. It was all weighing down on her. She was going down a spiral she could not get herself out of.

Sierra raised her head, clutching it close to her heart. She could not bear to look at Alistair anymore.

He could feel she was slipping away from him and he didn’t want that to happen. Alistair reached his hands out, hoping to pull her back into his embrace but Sierra took a step back.

"Sierra..."

"I really thought none of it would affect me," she confessed, "I know you meant what you said, that there was only space in your heart for me. But seeing how loved Cassandra and Agnes were. Seeing the respect they received from everyone, I..."

"I know you’re worried for my safety. But I am not a bird you can keep in a cage, my darling," she looked up at him. Her eyes were wet.

"I’m leaving for Cair, whether you like it or not."

"It’s too dangerous, sweetling. If you get hurt, I..." he could not even bring himself to think of what he would do. He didn’t want to think about it. Ever.

"I just want to keep you safe, Sierra. Please, we can figure it out together, we..."

"No," Sierra said as she shook her head, " We don’t have time to figure it out. I have to do this now. I have to do this on my own."

With that, she walked past him towards the door but Alistair grabbed hold of her by the arm. She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he was too strong. He pulled her in for an embrace despite her protests and refused to let go.

Sierra had craved his attention, for his touch, for his care, that she could no longer find the will to resist. She melted in his arms but still, she refused to shed any tears.

"I have to go, Alistair. Please," she begged him.

It pained him to hear it.

All he ever wanted was to keep her close. Almost losing her once was more than enough to remind him that life was fleeting. Things come and go. He had to hold on to the things that he holds dear.

"I’m sorry, Sierra, I can’t," he whispered to her.

"Guards!"

He didn’t give Sierra any time to react. The royal guards entered his room on his orders.

"Take Paramount Sierra back to Vinedra Estate. She is on house arrest until further notice," he ordered.

He could already see the look of disappointment on her face. When she reached down to draw her swords, something he had expected her to do, she was stunned to realise they were not there.

Looking over to Alistair, she was stunned to see them in his hands. The look of guilt on his face was undeniable. Now it was he who could not meet her eyes. The royal guards did as he asked and surrounded Sierra.

"Please come with us peacefully, Paramount Sierra."

Sierra looked straight at Alistair. When their eyes finally met, they seemed so distant from each other. She didn’t say a word to him, nor did he. She went quietly with the guards, never turning back.

~

Upon her return to Vinedra Estate, royal guards surrounded her estate. Ida was shocked by what had happened. She had heard a little through the grapevine of what had transpired but the gossip had been passed on verbally.

Not all details were accurate.

As such, she wanted to hear it straight from Sierra’s mouth.

After hearing it from her, Ida was relieved to hear the true version of events. The rumors had spun things out of proportion. Some were even saying she should have been taken away and sent back to Cair.

While she had some support amongst the staff members of the castle, she also had haters. Not everyone was on board with the idea of Sierra becoming part of the Royal Harem.

"Your Grace, what are you going to do now?" Ida asked nervously as she watched her pace up and down in the living room.

Sierra bit her lip as she tried to think of her next course of action. The entire estate was surrounded by guards. There was no way she could get out. Looking around the room she was in, she began to wonder if there might be a secret passageway she could use.

Just then a knock on the main door got both of their attention. The door creaked open and Queen Roxine walked in. Sierra walked over to greet her immediately.