The Forest Feeds No Idle Goblins

Chapter 15: Chapter 14: The Smoked Fish Over Rice Tastes Ordinary

"What are you having?"

"I’ll have the smoked fish over rice," Little John said, putting down the menu.

The Ear-Cleaning Master Tavern was buzzing with activity. It was dinnertime, and the tables were nearly full.

Little John had deliberately chosen a small, round table in the corner.

The menu had plenty of dishes, but he only chose the cheapest one: smoked fish over rice.

The farmers around Yangjiao Town grew three seasonal crops—rice, wheat, and soybeans—but the locals preferred bread made from wheat and weren’t particularly fond of rice.

Furthermore, the Darren River flowed through town, providing an abundance of fish.

As a result, a plate of smoked fish over rice cost only 30 Copper Coins, making it the meal of choice for many low-level laborers.

"Anything to drink? Beer or ale?"

"Just water is fine, thank you," Little John replied calmly. A Light Beer cost 1 Silver Coin, and he needed to save every penny he could.

The waitress glanced at Little John and said, "One moment."

She then took the menu and went to the bar.

Sitting in his corner, Little John quietly listened to the lively discussions around him.

"It was definitely goblins. Only those little green-skins would do something like this," a Dwarf shouted, slamming his wooden mug on the table and wiping his red beard.

"Did you see them? See the goblins do it?" someone nearby asked.

"They’re the only things like that at the edge of the forest," the Dwarf said, turning his head. His face was already flushed from drinking.

"No, it must have been a Magical Beast." A slightly sharp voice cut in. The crowd looked over to see a green-haired, pointy-eared Elf dipping a piece of bread into a creamy soup.

"Tch, what the hell do you know?" The Dwarf curled his lip, seeing that it was an Elf who had contradicted him.

Everyone knew that Dwarves and Elves didn’t get along. Little John knew it too, and he settled in to enjoy the show.

"Only a Magical Beast could kill four Adventurers at once," the Elf said, picking up a napkin to dab at his mouth, not even sparing the Dwarf a glance.

"Oh yeah? Go on then, tell me what kind of Magical Beast it was. A Shifting Leopard? Or a Brain-Eating Monster?" the Dwarf continued to shout.

The Elf clearly understood the Dwarf was calling him brainless, but he maintained a basic level of courtesy. "It certainly wasn’t goblins. Everyone knows what those creatures are like."

"Long hair, short wits," the Red-bearded Dwarf retorted. "If it was a Magical Beast, then why were there no witnesses? What do you think they ran into, a Giant Dragon?"

The Elf was momentarily speechless, unable to find a basis for a rebuttal. freēwēbηovel.c૦m

"It was goblins. The Adventurers ran into a large horde of them, that’s why they couldn’t get away."

"A large horde of goblins?" The Elf scoffed. "Believing that goblins would form a large group at the edge of the forest is like believing fish will walk on land."

"But you can’t say it’s impossible. Goblins have attacked villages before," the Dwarf countered.

Regarding the disappearance of the entire party of Adventurers, Little John also thought a Magical Beast was responsible. After all, goblins had a certain reputation. But if it was Shire leading a dozen or so goblins, he would immediately side with Shire.

"Like I said, long hair, short wits. You should hurry back and crawl into your Great Dome," the Dwarf said, raising his mug and chugging a large mouthful of ale.

Little John knew that Elves often mentioned they were from the Great Dome and wanted to return there. But whenever anyone asked where the Great Dome was or what it was like, they would clam up. Over time, people started joking that the Great Dome was a place everyone wanted to go, and the one place everyone wanted to go was... the latrine.

"You dirt-eating Earth Pot dare to insult an Elf?" The Elf slammed his napkin down with a SNAP.

Hearing the Elf’s response, the Red-bearded Dwarf spat out a mouthful of ale with a PFFT. He grabbed the large axe at his side and cursed, "You green-haired Yin Yang Man!"

Little John watched cheerfully as the crowd held the Dwarf back.

He knew Dwarves came from the high mountains of the far north and had a special fondness for strong spirits. As the Dwarves themselves said, a day without ale is worse than a day without salt.

They were stubborn and arrogant, believing themselves to be the children of the Elemental Ancient Gods from Ancient Times.

According to myth, the Creator God sealed the four Elemental Ancient Gods to bring stability to the world.

And "Earth Pot" was an insult troublemakers used for Dwarves. Little John had once seen a Dwarf in full Armor running through Yangjiao Town, and he really did look like a short pot rolling along.

"Yin Yang Man" was an insult for Elves. Elves were generally beautiful, so much so that it was often hard to tell males from females. There were frequent stories of male Adventurers mustering the courage to propose to a female Elf, only to be told, "Bro, what I’ve got down here is bigger than yours."

After being called a Yin Yang Man, the Elf’s face turned pale with rage.

He stood up, walked over to the Dwarf, and threw down his napkin.

Seeing this, the Ear-Cleaning Master Tavern erupted. Some people cheered for a spectacle, while others tried to placate the two: "Come on, let it go. We’ll know the answer by winter. There’s no need for this."

The Dwarf stared at the napkin on the floor, his beard trembling. He knew this was a uniquely insulting duel challenge favored by Elves.

Others threw down a gauntlet to challenge someone to a duel, but only Elves and some people with Pride would throw down a napkin. The meaning was clear: you’re not worthy of sitting at the table.

"#&~!%." He let out a string of Dwarvish curses and headbutted the Elf.

The Elf dodged nimbly, then drew the Swift Sword from his waist to meet the attack.

The tavern patrons immediately formed a circle, nearly all of them cheering loudly. The Minstrel on the nearby stage even switched to a battle song.

The soaring melody, combined with the clash of weapons and the crowd’s shouts of "Stab him!", "Kick him down below!", and "Don’t be a coward!", formed a unique song of the Ear Cleaner.

Little John remained seated cheerfully in his corner, but his view was now completely blocked by a wall of spectators. His table was a few meters from the fighting circle, so he was safe.

Brawls like this happened often; he saw one almost every time he came here. The combatants were always different, but they were usually Dwarves and Elves. Who could be surprised? Those two Races were the proudest.

But after every fight, as long as the injuries weren’t fatal, Healing Personnel would be on site to administer aid. Fatalities were rare, and the two combatants would even split the cost of any broken tables and chairs.

Little John knew this was just a part of the Adventurer lifestyle.

He had even considered switching careers to carpentry, selling cheap tables and chairs to the tavern and making money through sheer volume.

"Your smoked fish over rice."

A muscular giant over two meters tall came to the table and set down the plate.

Little John looked at the tavern owner—who was wearing a white linen shirt, a black Vest, and a colorful, floral apron—and smiled. "Thank you."

"Where’s Gunter?" the owner asked, setting down a glass of water.

"Uh, he’s dead."

The owner stared into Little John’s eyes for a few seconds, then took the water away.

A moment later, he returned with a large mug of ale.

"This... I..." Little John hesitated.

"Tavern special. It’s on the house," the owner said, then turned to leave.

"Sir, can I ask you something?" Little John quickly called out to him.

The owner didn’t say a word, simply raising one finger.

Little John took out a Silver Coin and placed it on the table. "Why did they say we’ll know the answer by winter?"

"Because the Storm Brotherhood is coming."

"Who is the Storm Brotherhood?"

The owner held up three more fingers.

"All right." Little John took out three more Silver Coins.

The owner’s hand swept quickly over the table, and in an instant, the 4 Silver Coins vanished. His technique was uncanny.

"The Storm Brotherhood is an organization formed by Adventurers."

"Then..." Little John felt a pang of regret over the money. He tried asking, "Where else can I find out about this?"

"The Adventurer Association." This time, the owner finally didn’t hold up any fingers.

"The Association?" Little John was taken aback.

"That’s right. It’s free."

"Then what about my money?"

"Enjoy your meal." The owner gave a slight bow and walked away.

......

"Hahahahaha."

In a remote corner of Yangjiao Town, a string of bell-like laughter drifted out from a tent.

"So you just paid 4 Silver Coins like that," Mary said, smiling and pursing her lips.

"Yeah. What a rip-off, right?" Little John said, throwing his hands up.

To save money, he hadn’t gotten a room at an inn but had pitched a tent in a corner of town instead.

"Don’t be sad. You also won the lottery and got that ale, right? That’s not cheap, either." Mary tossed her long, chestnut-colored braid over her shoulder and crawled into the tent to help Little John arrange his bedroll.

"Still, I lost 4 Silver Coins." Little John unbuckled his Short Sword and set it aside. He didn’t tell Mary about Gunter; he didn’t want to tarnish his girlfriend’s memories with such a dirty business.

"It’s okay, Jack." After tidying up, Mary sat down next to Little John and pulled a cloth pouch from her skirt pocket.

She unfolded the two layers of cloth, took out the coins inside, and pushed them toward Little John. "This is the money I’ve saved up over the last few years. It’s all from doing laundry for people. In total, it’s 53 Silver Coins and 87 Copper Coins. You take it."

"No, Mary, I can’t take this."

"Jack, listen to me." Mary preferred to call him by his nickname, Jack, rather than Little John.

"We can’t defy my father, so all we can do now is work together." Mary tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I believe in you. You’ll definitely succeed."

"But this money..."

"I’ll feel better if you have it." Mary picked up the pouch and pressed it into Little John’s palm. "There’s less than a month left."

"Mary, I’ll work hard." Little John clutched the pouch, taking Mary’s hands in his at the same time.

"*We’ll* work hard together. I have to go back soon. I still need to pick up dirty laundry from the tax official’s residence before I leave."

"You’ve worked so hard." Little John caressed Mary’s hands. He could feel that her once-delicate hands had grown much rougher.

"It’s just washing clothes. You, on the other hand, you have to be careful. If you can run, then run. Your life is the most important thing."

"Hey, what are you talking about? You know my skills," Little John’s voice immediately rose in pitch.

"Jack, I’m not an idiot."

"Okay, Mary, I know," Little John said with a sheepish grin, looking at her serious face.

"I can run off to the Church and become a nun, vowing to never marry, but you absolutely cannot let anything happen to you," Mary said in a firm tone.

She sighed again. She knew what had led to this situation, but there was truly nothing she could do about it.

"Uh, Mary." Seeing his girlfriend’s somber mood, Little John grew a bit anxious. "Look, we still have a chance."

He took out the Gold Coins from selling the equipment to show Mary, hoping to see her happy.

"So much money! Did you earn this?" Mary asked in surprise.

"Mhm," Little John replied subconsciously.

Mary picked up each Gold Coin and held it up to the sunlight. The brilliant golden reflections made her incredibly happy.

A few minutes later, she put down the Gold Coins and looked at Little John joyfully. "Do Adventurers make this much money?"

"Of course," Little John mumbled, grabbing the end of Mary’s long braid and swinging it back and forth to hide his guilty conscience.

’Should I keep this money? It would certainly speed things up a lot.’

"You know, Jack," Mary said, gazing at her lover, "whenever you lie, you always fiddle with something with your hands."

"No, of course not, Mary."

"Do you know what I like most about you?" Mary sat up straight, pulling her braid back from her lover’s hand.

"I like that you’re honest, brave, and you don’t shy away from challenges. You’re not like the other men in the village."

"All right, Mary." Little John held up his hands in surrender. "This money is an advance from a client to purchase some goods."

"A client?"

"Yes, a client you wouldn’t expect. When the deal is done, I should get a commission of about 50 Silver Coins."

"50 Silver Coins? You’re amazing! The most I can make in a day of washing clothes is 5 Silver Coins."

Mary picked up the Gold Coins again and examined them. "Jack, is this job dangerous?"

"Not dangerous, not at all," Little John said, waving his hand dismissively. "I’m going to see him tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Mhm," Little John nodded. Besides, according to Shire, this deal had a lot of potential for growth.

"I really hope we can save up enough money soon," Mary said, clutching the Gold Coins and resting her head on Little John’s shoulder. "If you really succeed, there’s a surprise for you."

"What kind of surprise?" Little John chuckled slyly.

"I’ll make you smoked fish over rice every day from now on."

"Nooo!" Little John’s face fell instantly. ’I hate that stuff! There’s nothing in the world more disgusting than smoked fish over rice. Nobody could possibly like eating it.’

"But I heard you order it every day."

"Heh heh, that’s because it’s cheap."

"But speaking of which, Jack, you really did win the lottery," Mary said, holding up a Gold Coin.

"Yeah." Little John gently stroked Mary’s hair.

’Mary, you’re my real lottery prize.’