Free Web NovelChapter 186: Chapter 161: Will Never Get a Wife in This Lifetime
"AHHH..."
Zhang Laibao threw his head back, strained his neck, and let out a blood-curdling shriek.
Not far away, in the woods, a few sparrows perched on a branch were scared into a flurry of flapping wings.
Zhao Jun was right behind Zhang Laibao, and the shriek made his eardrums ache.
A large badger had latched onto Zhang Laibao, biting down hard and refusing to let go!
Unable to bear the pain, Zhang Laibao immediately let go of the badger’s two hind legs.
He thought the badger would stop biting if he wasn’t holding it. But in his panic, he’d forgotten that badgers have a locking jaw; once they bite, they don’t let go.
It would have been better if Zhang Laibao hadn’t let go. The moment he did, the badger’s full weight dropped.
A badger weighing over twenty pounds, with sharp, vicious teeth—one bite was agonizing enough.
Now, as it dangled, it was like a twenty-plus-pound weight hanging off him. It wasn’t just biting anymore; it was tearing!
That was too much for Zhang Laibao. He plunged into the snow, his eyes rolled back, and he passed out cold.
"WOOF! WOOF..."
The nearby Daqing and White Dragon instantly shot forward, pouncing on the badger that was still clamped onto Zhang Laibao.
"Hey! Hey!" Zhao Jun tried to call off the dogs, but it was too late.
Daqing and White Dragon took Zhang Laibao’s place, both sinking their teeth into the badger’s hind legs and yanking backward.
This tug was a disaster.
When Zhang Laibao had fallen, the badger was no longer dangling, which had actually lessened the pain.
But with the two dogs pulling the badger, and the badger biting Zhang Laibao, it was as if the dogs were pulling directly on *that spot* on Zhang Laibao.
"AHHH..." Zhang Laibao, who had just passed out from the pain, was instantly shocked awake by it!
He sat there on the snowy ground, his face beet red and his forehead beaded with sweat.
With the two dogs pulling the badger’s hind legs, Zhang Laibao grabbed its front legs. Only by pulling against the dogs could he lessen the agonizing pain.
"Brother Jun! Help me!"
Seeing Zhao Jun rush over, Zhang Laibao looked as if he’d just seen a long-lost relative, crying out for help with all his might.
Zhao Jun swung his fist and punched the badger right on the nose.
The punch made the badger’s head dip, which in turn tugged on the spot where Zhang Laibao was bitten.
"AHHH..."
"AH!"
As Zhao Jun’s second punch landed, Zhang Laibao let out another wretched scream.
Fortunately, as the second punch hit the badger’s nose, it opened its mouth and was instantly yanked away by Daqing and White Dragon.
As for Zhang Laibao, he fell back stiffly and fainted once again.
"Zhang Laibao! Zhang Laibao!" Zhao Jun knelt beside him and slapped his face a few times. When he didn’t wake up, Zhao Jun glanced down at his body.
A large patch of his gray, coarse-cloth pants had turned black, soaked through with blood.
"Don’t just stand there and watch the show," Zhao Jun said to Li Baoyu with a grin. "Hurry up and wake him. We need to get back; we still have to face his dad."
"You got it." Li Baoyu came over to Zhang Laibao gleefully, pulled off his mittens, and started rubbing snow from the ground onto his face.
The shock of the cold snow snapped Zhang Laibao awake, but all he felt was an excruciating pain where he’d been bitten. It was a pain so intense he wished he were dead.
"AHHH..."
Zhang Laibao started crying again, wailing at the top of his lungs.
"Stop crying!" Zhao Jun said urgently. "Hurry up and take them off so we can see. We need to figure out how to bandage it. Then we have to get down the mountain and find a doctor."
"Yeah!" Li Baoyu chimed in. "If you dilly-dally any longer, you’ll never get married."
"AHHH..." Sobbing, Zhang Laibao fumbled with the rope tied around his waist. Once he got it undone, he realized he couldn’t get his pants off while sitting. "Help me up!" he cried to Zhao Jun and Li Baoyu.
Zhao Jun and Li Baoyu struggled to hold back their laughter as they hoisted Zhang Laibao up from the snow, one on each side. But he was badly hurt, and the slightest movement was agonizing.
Wailing and screaming, Zhang Laibao ignored the biting wind and managed to pull down his pants to take a look.
"Aiyah..." Li Baoyu took one look, immediately turned his face away, and winced.
It was brutal!
Too gruesome to look at!
Still, Zhang Laibao was pretty lucky. The badger hadn’t hit the main target; it hadn’t bitten the... central part, but rather the area connecting to the top of his thigh.
The badger’s sharp fangs had bitten through his padded pants, piercing the skin. It had the pants and the entire right side of the area in its mouth.
Some say a badger’s bite force is comparable to a tiger’s.
Whether that’s true or not is impossible to verify.
But looking at Zhang Laibao’s... situation, the right side was exposed and seemed to have been flattened.
That was from the pulling.
Credit went to both the badger’s dangling weight and the dogs’ enthusiastic tugging.
Seeing the wound bleeding nonstop, tears streamed down Zhang Laibao’s face as he mumbled, "Zhao Jun, what am I going to do?!"
In his desperation, he even dropped the "Brother" from his name.
Zhao Jun seemed to panic too. He looked around, then slapped Li Baoyu on the arm. "Did you bring any tobacco dust?"
"No!" Li Baoyu said. "We’re just digging out a badger, who would bring that stuff?"
"You!" Zhao Jun turned away, laughing as he ran back to the badger hole where they had stuffed the firecracker.
Because the Maze had gone off, there was loose dirt around the mouth of the hole. Zhao Jun gathered it up with his hands, grabbed two handfuls, and ran back to Zhang Laibao.
"There’s nothing else. We’ll just have to pack it with this dirt."
"Will that work?" Zhang Laibao asked with a sob.
"What else are we supposed to do?" Zhao Jun was now desperately trying not to laugh.
"Stop talking nonsense!" Li Baoyu held Zhang Laibao down and said to Zhao Jun, "Hurry up and pack it on. If he keeps bleeding like this, it’s going to freeze over!"
"Brace yourself!" Zhao Jun quickly slapped the dirt onto Zhang Laibao’s wound.
And what do you know, the two handfuls of dirt actually stopped the bleeding.
This wasn’t Zhao Jun trying to mess with him!
In this freezing weather, if they didn’t stop the bleeding and his... equipment... froze, Zhang Laibao would have nothing left to hope for.
Shaking, Zhang Laibao tied his padded pants back up. There was no way to properly bandage a wound in that spot. Besides, any movement that pulled on it caused unbearable pain.
"Brother Jun... I can’t walk. You guys have to carry me back!" Snot and tears covered Zhang Laibao’s face as he cried uncontrollably.
"Sigh!" Zhao Jun let out a breath and said to Li Baoyu, "Baoyu, go cut some poles. We’ll get him back."
"What?" Li Baoyu was not happy. He pouted. "We have to carry him?"
"What other choice do we have?" Zhao Jun said, squatting down to untie his leg bindings. After taking his own off, he untied Zhang Laibao’s.
When Li Baoyu returned with the poles, he and Zhao Jun started lashing together a stretcher.
Once the stretcher was made, they helped Zhang Laibao lie down on it, but every movement drew a heart-wrenching howl from him.
After Zhang Laibao was on the makeshift stretcher, Zhao Jun and Li Baoyu retrieved the four badgers.
Li Baoyu had just placed one of the badgers on the stretcher when Zhang Laibao flung it off.
Li Baoyu was instantly furious. "Zhang Laibao, what the hell are you doing?" he shouted.
"Those are the f*cking things that bit me! Ahhh..."
He was still crying.
Zhao Jun tried to console him. "Stop crying, stop crying. Didn’t we already agree? One of these badgers is yours."
"I don’t want it!"
"Fine, suit yourself," Zhao Jun said, then turned to Li Baoyu. "If he won’t let us put them on the stretcher, we’ll carry them. Baoyu, hurry up and tie the badgers with a rope."
Li Baoyu shot Zhang Laibao a nasty glare. "You’re always such a f*cking pain in the ass!"
Zhang Laibao wailed, "Oh, just go already! Forget about the badgers!"
As if Zhao Jun and Li Baoyu would listen to him. Li Baoyu tied the four badgers into two pairs. The plan was to carry them on their backs, but badgers eat and relieve themselves in their dens, and the smell was overwhelming.
With no other choice, they had to hang the badgers from both ends of the stretcher. Zhao Jun and Li Baoyu carried the stretcher, the badgers, and Zhang Laibao, and hurried down the mountain.
The mountain path was rough and bumpy, making the journey agony for Zhang Laibao. To make matters worse, two badgers were hanging right by his head, and the stench was nearly enough to make him pass out. Still, it was better than walking down the mountain himself.
「More than two hours later」, the three men and four dogs finally made it out of the mountain forest. The moment they were clear, the four dogs bolted for home.
As Zhao Jun and Li Baoyu carried the stretcher into the village, they spotted Li Ruhai bouncing along.
"Ruhai!" Zhao Jun, who was at the front, shouted.
"Brother, you’re back." Li Ruhai took a few steps toward them, then sensed something was wrong. He rushed over for a closer look and froze when he saw Zhang Laibao on the stretcher.
Li Ruhai pointed at Zhang Laibao and asked, "What happened to him?"
"A badger got him between the legs. Ripped one of his balls out," Zhao Jun replied with a smirk, his back to Zhang Laibao.
"Whoa!" Upon hearing this, Li Ruhai’s eyes lit up. He leaned in toward Zhang Laibao and reached for the rope around his waist, saying, "I gotta see this." freewebnøvel.coɱ
"Get lost, you little punk!" Li Baoyu roared. "Hurry home and tell them we’re back!"
"Go to his house?" Li Ruhai pointed at Zhang Laibao again, then waved his hand. "No way am I going there."
"Go to our house," Zhao Jun said. "Your brother and I will take him home. You go on ahead and let them know at our place."
Hearing Zhao Jun say this, Li Ruhai seemed to understand something. He turned and ran for home.
Zhao Jun and Li Baoyu watched from behind. They saw Li Ruhai run about four or five meters before an old woman suddenly appeared from around a corner.
Li Ruhai swerved and, in a single bound, rushed right up to the old woman, giving her a fright.
Zhao Jun and the others faintly heard Li Ruhai say, "Granny Han, let me tell you! A badger ruined Zhang Laibao! He’ll never be able to get a wife now!"
"Get back here, you brat!" Li Baoyu yelled.
At the same time, Zhang Laibao, lying on the stretcher, forced his head up. He watched Li Ruhai run off into the distance, so angry he could grind his teeth to dust.
