The Begotten Fiend

Chapter 23: Reflect

My ears rung, refusing to hear the chaos happening around me. I grabbed them, pulling at them as if it’d make it go away.

I looked up, and there was nothing. Just black.

What’s going on? Just seconds before, I was facing Father, and the next, I’m in this void.

I’m not sure of anything, to be honest. All I know is that Father is going to be pissed it took me this long to get rid of the human.

Wait, what? Father? Who am I referring to? What happened to that big beast from earlier--

"Agh, who is this. Why are you messing with my head?" I wrestled with the sides of my head, turning side to side.

I can’t get a grip on anything of this. Or, we...?

It was only then that the black before me became far less absolute. An astounding amount of color began to bleed through the cracks, transforming the infinite darkness into something far more peculiar...

The space beneath me turned solid, turning into a glossy concrete. I was cushioned by something--a bed, by the looks of it. And-- wait, there’s a person?

She had long, pink hair. Her cheeks were so flush that she could’ve been mistaken for a doll. Beyond that, her eyes held this sort of longing...

"You’ve got a little something there..." She breathed, pointing to my chin.

What?

I stuck my finger where she pointed, a saliva met my touch. I was drooling.

Unknowingly, I smiled, then spit out loud with my chuckle. She followed suit as we both entered into a long fit of laughter.

Why does this feel so warm?

In moments, I found myself looking down her soul. Her face was inches from my face.

I remember this. It was before my brother’s ceremony when Seraphine and us had gotten deep into it in our bedroom.

We also remember how we rejected her kiss and advances, earning her scorn. But why are we seeing this?

Without willing it into being, we pushed her away, standing up from the bed.

But why? What made us do this?

We couldn’t hear her voice anymore, but her face dug into us. It was so hurt, so... disdainful.

And it was towards us.

Our heart cracked. Despite still struggling to understand her connection to us, such a deep, unreachable pain buried its way inside that all we could do was hold our chest, squeezing my skin like it would alleviate the heartache.

Tears streamed our face. Our lips quivered. "Who... why are you doing this!" we screamed.

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

The voice was a silent roar. It thundered with all the ferocity of a deity, and yet we felt none the wiser.

What did it mean?

Again, the scenery changed, except this time, we were in the courtroom. Seraphine and Millan stared us down, just as we’d remembered.

No longer were their voices audible. No, they simply stared.

"What’s... going on...?" Again, we remembered this. We’d been groveling, begging for someone to save us. But to no avail.

Seraphine walked away and left us to our death, while we wriggled in a puddle of our own tear and piss.

The disgrace stung like a thousand bees. But it didn’t stop there.

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

There wasn’t even anything around me anymore. Seraphine’s face floated in front of me like a ghoul, her face so full of hatred that it was hardly human.

"You were never good enough for me."

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

"Did you honestly believe you could ever be loved?"

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

"You don’t even know who you are..."

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

"The fact that you--"

OKAY, ENOUGH!

Her face disappeared as we screamed in our mind. Instead, we were just alone, deep in the void.

Is this how she truly feels?

No, we understand the answer to that already. After all, we’re the ones who rejected her and then betrayed her trust.

Who would be capable of loving me?

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

Reflect on your deepest fears and despair.

The voice kept hounding us, speaking with horrible contempt.

All we could was curl up into a fetal position, rolling on the ground.

"Isn’t that what I’m doing already!" Our question fell on deaf ears. We were only met by silence. "Please, Koff... Just... leave me alone..."

We’re crying. If we could see ourselves, it would surely be an ugly one.

My chest cracked open, spilling out all of my emotions. It was uncontrollable, and it was only getting worse.

We’re all alone. We’re just going to die in this corner of our mind where nobody can find us. How detestable.

"Get up," something called out. I looked in search of the voice, and there they were.

A woman, towering well above seven feet. Her hair was a luscious white, trailing down like snow atop a mountain. Her eyes were cold, her figure slim, but there was something about her... something warm.

I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was familiar.

"Nash, get up."

Nash? I suppose we remember that name. But is that really me?

"Who are you talking about--" Before we could finish our question, the woman wrapped us in her arms. She snuggled her right cheek against mine, moving it up and down.

"I can’t answer that, but know this. Had I known this would happen to you, I never would’ve put you through this." Her words were monotone, yet they still instilled in me a feeling of affection. "Only this once, I will help you. But I’m not supposed to be here. Hold on a second."

Pressing her hand into my brow, she recited some foreign words out loud. It was all confusing, but what happened next was even more peculiar.

[Acquired Basic Skill: Illusion]

"What did you just do?" we questioned.

"Do what I should’ve done a long time ago: be there for you." As she spoke, her body begun to twinkle. It vibrated, then disseminated into a bunch of amethyst particles of light. "I can’t stay here for long, but please do remember. No matter what inhabits your body, you are you. That fact does not change."

Before I even had the opportunity to ask what she meant, she floated out of my arms. Still, I reached out in her direction. "Wait, please just answer this... who are you!"

"You’re just as stubborn as before. It’s not a matter of who I am, but, rather, who you are." She winked just once. In just seconds, she’d already completely fused into the wind.

Once again, I was alone.

"What..." I muttered under my breath, but a realization struck me.

She’s right. All these souls inside of me. I feel them writhing, competing for control. I’m not even sure which one I am, but if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that people aren’t meant to be separated.

So I’ll accept them as my own.

Closing my eyes, I visualized my very essence opening up. A torrent of energy struck me, and I took it with grace. Whatever it was--my mind, my soul--it started to lose itself. My thoughts became half-thoughts, then I wasn’t thinking at all.

My body lit up into a radiant gleam. Widening my arms, I took it all.

Until, eventually, there was no "I."

Not in the conventional sense.

I’m no longer Nash. I didn’t retain all of our memories, but the one thing I understood was that something about me fundamentally shifted.

My ego, my hubris, my pride. It flamed even wilder than before. All seeking its next target.

And I would provide it.

Using the new information I’ve gained from my skill, I searched for it.

Inside my head, there was mana influencing my mind and thoughts. But no more. freewebnøvel.coɱ

My new Illusion skill allowed me to understand it, but Mana Control allowed me to properly interfere with it.

I imagined a hand gripping the outside influence, ripping it off like one would with a leech.

And with that, everything around me liquefied. The black void that’d encompassed me shuddered, rampaged, then shattered into a million pieces.

I closed, then opened my eyes. And there it was. The big spider, standing before me with its huge mandible widened--saliva slipping through its gaps.