Free Web NovelChapter 134: Anticipation: Hannah
After I got off the phone from confirming dinner plans with my brothers, I sat on the couch of the den and was paralyzed by my own thoughts. Lori’s relation had opened a can of worms in my mind. Our father had really made Freddy and Edward his own little soldiers, completely indoctrinated them into whatever capitalist, misogynist, hated-fueled war he was embarking on.
They weren’t my father, and I had to see them as individuals, no matter how difficult it was. I was so much stronger than I had been when I was first sold at the Auction House, or at least I liked to think so. I had nothing to fear. They weren’t going to hurt me, at least not physically. With everything else, I was going to have Roman and Lori at my side. Really, the only thing to fear was the anticipation.
I was so lost in thought that I didn’t notice when Roman came inside. He was standing in front of me before it registered with me. We locked eyes, and he moved to sit next to me.
Looping an arm around my shoulders, he looked at me with a gentle look. "What’s the verdict?" he asked.
I sucked in a shaky breath. "I’ve agreed to go. We go to their house tomorrow night at six for dinner."
He rubbed my arm. "Doesn’t seem like talking with Lori made you feel any better about it."
An anxiety was building in my chest, making it hard to swallow. "It did, but it also made me realize that the biggest issue isn’t the worry they’ll try and use me or something." I shuffled a bit and fidgeted with the sleeves of my sweatshirt. "It’s the fact they remind me too much of my dad. It’s hard not to feel like I’ve signed up for a dinner with him, instead of my brothers."
He nodded and continued to rub my arm. "I think that’s perfectly understandable. Tomorrow night will definitely be a trial for you. At any point in time it gets to be too much for you, we’ll go. Just say the word or give me a signal and we’ll run out of there as fast as our feet can carry us."
I shot him a slow growing smile before I leaned onto his shoulder. "Thank you, that means a lot."
Roman kissed the top of my head and held me close. "We need to do something to get things off of your mind. Any ideas?"
A distraction definitely sounded welcome. If I sat around and just harbored on the thought of the dinner, I was bound to back out just from nerves alone.
"How about..." I muttered, thinking carefully. I was drawing a blank. "I haven’t any idea."
He squeezed my shoulder. "Need to get some frustration out?" he asked. I nodded. He stood and pulled me with him. "Put on something comfy and tennis shoes." fгeewёbnoѵel.cσm
I studied his expression but didn’t ask questions. I had figured out by then that Roman’s surprises were worth the wait.
We went upstairs together, and I changed into his specifications. I put on a plaid skirt, an undershirt, my sweatshirt, and tennis shoes. As I tied my hair up, I heard Roman chuckle from behind me. I turned and raised a brow at him. "What is it?" I asked.
"You just are perfectly dressed for the occasion," he stated.
I looked down at my outfit and wasn’t totally sure how. However, I let it go and held his hand as we left. We hurried out of the house and made a quick trip in the car.
When we were on the edge of the city, we finally pulled into our destination. It was one of those state-of-the-art driving ranges with a sports bar attached.
I eyed him curiously. "Golf?"
"Trust me, it’s going to be great," he assured me. Hand in hand, we walked into the place and made our way to the top floor, where we managed to score a private booth. As Roman helped me find a golf club, a worker came by and dropped off a couple of beers and a bucket of balls.
"I have no idea how to golf," I muttered as I stepped up to the tee.
Roman stood behind me and gripped my hands. "All you have to do is make sure your hands are like this," he started out, positioning my hands in a specific way. He then helped me move my legs apart, bend my knees, and place my hips. "Then, you’re going to swing back like this," he said, moving my arm. "Make sure to keep this one elbow straight. You’re going to whack it with all your might."
Once he guided me through a couple practice swings, Roman then moved back and gave me room.
For a moment, I froze up, feeling a bit foolish standing there. I felt my mind beginning to work itself up, feeling goofy and weird and that I was going to embarrass myself.
In a strange twist of emotion, I was getting angry that I was embarrassed before I even tried. The fear that I felt about seeing my brothers shifted into an anger. Anger that my father had made it that I had such a disconnect and anxiety about seeing my own siblings.
In the next moment, I swung the club as hard as I could. The connection of the driver to the ball made an utterly satisfying smack sound. My eyes immediately went forward and watched the ball soar over the green grass and land well down the field. My eyes were sparkling with excitement as I turned to look at Roman. He was grinning ear to ear and clapped his hands.
"That was great," he grinned. "Wanna go again?"
I nodded eagerly and he placed another ball on the tee. Ball after ball, I hit them as far as I could. Every ball felt like a little piece of my frustration that I got to hit and send far, far away. ƒгeewebnovёl.com
When I would step away to take a drink, Roman would step up and have a few shots himself. He looked so professional and elegant when he hit the balls. Just watching him, I could tell that he was strategic about it, managing to get further and further shots.
After a while, I was getting a bit of a buzz, my frustration and anxiety was melting away. After another batch of balls, I turned to see our table filled with appetizers, flatbread pizzas, and sliders. I hugged Roman’s side and looked up to him with a beaming expression. "How did I get so lucky?" I asked.
"For the food?" he asked with a light chuckle.
"No," I giggled and hugged him closer. "To have you."
His expression softened even more, somehow, and his hand cupped my cheek as he leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to my lips. When we pulled back and looked into each other’s eyes, I could actively feel myself falling impossibly even more in love with him. I was cared for, considered, admired, and most of all, safe. He was my person; and I really couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.
We shared another couple of brief kisses, and then I snagged one of the nachos before getting back to hitting the balls.
On the evening went in a wonderful, carefree sort of way. I liked the "down to earth" sort of feel to it. Not everything had to be extravagant. I couldn’t think of anything more perfect way to have spent that evening. I was so grateful he had thought of that activity to get my frustration out and get my mind off things. I don’t think I would have been able to come up with that on my own. I would have likely just turned to pacing around the house and frantically obsessing over every detail.
By the time we had eaten all we could, I had drank several drinks, and our time slot was done, we left the facility giggling and hugging to one another. Roman got me into the car and took me back to the house. After a great deal of water and some preemptive Tylenol, we curled into bed. I curled into him and couldn’t have dozed off with any more comfort or peace.
Roman made life feel manageable and peaceful, even when it didn’t make much sense. Dinner with my brothers would be painful and awkward, but we would get through it. Hopefully, we would come out with a better connection to them and on the path to healing. If not, then at least I would have the peace of mind that I had tried. Everything would be okay. Only time would tell what path I was heading on when it came to my family.
The sound of Roman’s steady breathing and the bit of a buzz I still had from beer, I drifted off into a deep and sound sleep. Something I hadn’t had since we returned from vacation.
