Free Web NovelChapter 132: The Important Things: Hannah
Waking the next morning to an empty bed was a little depressing. I knew our getaway had only been a week, but I had so easily gotten used to waking up next to him. I sighed and looked at his spot a while longer. It was something that I was just going to have to get used to again. That was going to have to be okay.
After going through a typical morning routine of showering, dressing, and breakfast, I found my way to my craft room with my small bag of shells with me. I had thought about calling and arranging for my teacher to come back, but I wasn’t really feeling like company. I needed time to myself with my thoughts.
Over the next two days, I toyed with different vases, bowls, and even dared some sculpture, all incorporating the shells. If I didn’t like it, I would pick the shells out of the clay, wash them, and try again.
After two full days, I decided that I didn’t like them in a plate, or a bowl, and if my idea was going to work out, it was going to be some sort of sculpture or figurine.
I stood around, arranging the shells into different shapes and patterns as I tried to think of what to make. I was growing irritated with trying to freestyle it. I needed to decide what it was I was making. Part of me longed to look online for references, but I wanted it to be unique to me and not a spinoff of something I saw. Instead, I took to pacing around the room, trying to find some inspiration.
Just as I thought that I wouldn’t find anything at all, I picked up what looked like to be a head form in one of the massive built-in drawers. After a while of looking at it and thinking, I had a final idea that I would try before I just completely gave up. Taking it over to the pottery station, I formed a sheet of clay and then gently laid it over the side of the face of the head form. Then I did it again, but facing the other way.
After some time, it was starting to look like a pair of lovers brushing cheeks. Using the little tools, I added some more features to give them feminine and masculine features.
It didn’t look quite right. I smashed it, reformed it, and tried again.
Still wasn’t right.
It took many, many more tries before the pair finally looked how I imagined them. It didn’t have the expert precision, but I felt as though you could tell that they were inspired by classic paintings of Roman figures.
Using the tools still, I made out little designs of flowers and branches to form a wreath around them. Then, I placed the shells and incorporated them into the wreath. Then, I trimmed it into a circle.
Setting it to the side, I managed to make a stand. Then, I put a alabaster glaze on it, sticking with the classic statue look. Though I did add a pop of color by putting green on the branches.
I merged the two pieces together and smoothed out the surface before carrying it down to the kiln.
I cleaned up the room as it finished. My mind was already looking for something else to do, something to keep busy. However, there was nothing.
I was starting to worry that pottery really was only a distraction. I didn’t think it would fulfill me, and I would continue to go through waves of horrific, mind-numbing boredom.
My piece wasn’t even finished before I was already finding myself not wanting to make anything else or schedule with my teacher. If I decided to cancel totally, I would make sure a nice parting gift was sent her way. I didn’t want her counting on my business and then getting put in a tough spot.
Pushing those thoughts to the side, I went to fetch the pottery after the allotted amount of time. I examined it there on the deck and was very surprised with my own ability to create something from scratch. Maybe I was creative. How had I never known that before? Still, I couldn’t imagine finding purpose in pottery. While it was fun and definitely a way to pass the time, I wanted to do something more productive, more useful with this newfound creativity.
But what?
The thought haunted me as I put a finishing gloss on the piece. As I tortured myself with trying to find a solution, I felt my cellphone buzzing in my pocket.
Because my hands were busy, I answered it without even glancing at the caller ID, certain it was Roman. "Hello there," I greeted.
"Hey, Hannah," a familiar voice said.
My brows creased, noticing it wasn’t Roman and glanced down at my phone as it sat on the table.
It was my brother, Edward.
I didn’t respond right away, stunned into silence.
He cleared his throat. "Is now a good time to talk?"
"I guess so," I muttered. "What’s wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong," he assured me, but I was still on edge. I was afraid they were only calling to ask for money. I hadn’t heard from them since that day. "I just wanted to call and check in. Lori said that you were gone for a week."
"Why have you been talking to Lori?" I asked, my voice snapping at him.
"She’s my sister," Edward replied earnestly. He let out a heavy sigh, and then there was a thick silence. "Look, Hannah. I know Fred and I haven’t handled things anywhere near correctly. We weren’t coming from a bad place, but the wrong place. If that makes any sense? As in, we were trying with heart, but just approached the situation from the wrong direction. So, we want to start from the bottom. We’ve talked to Lori, and as long as everyone is okay with it and agrees, we would like to have a family dinner."
My stomach knotted and, as much as I didn’t want them to be, my heart strings were pulled. He sounded so emotional, his voice wobbling and a couple of sniffles. He was really humbling himself. If Lori was talking to them and was willing to do a dinner, then should I be willing to as well?
I bit my lip. Part of me wanted to, to get my siblings back; to start new with them as Roman and I had. However, they had already caused so much hurt.
"Can I think about it and get back to you? It’s not a no, I just need a little time to sort through my thoughts," I replied finally.
"Yes, of course. Take your time and get back to me when you can. We will make plans from there," he responded.
After that and a quick goodbye, we hung up the phone.
I found my way downstairs, knowing that Roman would be home soon. I paced around with my thoughts reeling until the front door opened.
I found my way to him, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then immediately unloaded. "My brothers called and they want to have a family dinner with Lori and me."
Roman blinked and hung up his coat before guiding me to sit down with him in the den. "What’s your initial thought?" he asked tenderly. freёwebnovel.com
I rubbed my hands together, biting the inside of my lip. "I have to admit, he got to me a bit. He was pretty emotional. My heart wants to believe them, that they just want to be a family. It would be nice to start a whole new Chapter in life, you know? No lingering hurt or anything."
"That does sound good," he nodded, but studied my face. He knew I had more to say.
"However, how they’ve been before, it left its scars. I’m hesitant to trust them, and especially after they asked for money. It feels like I will never be able to tell if they are being sincere or just trying to use me," I frowned. "I don’t want to let them in just to get hurt again."
"That’s very valid," Roman nodded as he sat up straighter. He looped an arm around me. He rubbed my arm and studied me.
"What do you think I should do? I’m at a complete loss. I’ve been pacing around for over a half hour and am no closer to an answer," I frowned.
He took a moment to think and watch me, before he spoke with great thought. "I think that family is very important, and, if you don’t at least try with them, you may regret it later. Let’s go to the dinner, feel it out in person, and go from there. As soon as you get bad vibes or feel at risk for being used, we cut them off. There’s no risk. Just go in there ready to forgive, but not necessarily forget."
We sat there as I chewed on his advice. I thought he was right and knew that, deep down, it was exactly how I was feeling even before he suggested it.
Family was important, and I owed it to myself, not them, to at least try. I didn’t want to be haunted by phantom ’what ifs’ by not acting on the opportunity. I would be guarded, but hopefully, with time, they could earn my trust.
I nodded and looked at him. "You’re right. Before I tell them, though, I need to talk to Lori."
