Swallow Hunting

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Yohan came back after ordering coffee and pulled a marker pen from his pocket. Then he squatted on the floor and, without even asking permission, started scribbling all over the white cast. The sentence he left there was: [I hate eating alone]. Haejun understood that it was Yohan’s way of wishing for him to recover quickly.

“Here, take this. Side dishes.”

“Where’d this come from?”

“The madam’s been cooking for me lately, and she’s really good. Made me think of you, so I asked her to pack some up.”

“Oh?” Yohan peeked into the paper bag. Inside, the food was neatly arranged, all of it looking delicious. He swallowed hard.

“The day you start taking care of me actually comes... what do you even call this, I’m touched?”

“From now on, call me hyung-nim. If someone feeds you, that makes them hyung-nim.”

When Haejun puffed himself up proudly, Yohan shot back with a cold, “Bullshit.” Even so, the corner of his lips lifted, like he was in a good mood anyway.

“Oh, right. This too.”

This time Yohan held out another bag. Inside were notebooks, colored pencils, and other stationery.

“You’re gonna be bored sitting home alone, aren’t you? A phone only kills an hour or two. So I brought some stuff. You used to like doodling.”

Apparently he remembered how Haejun used to scribble in the corners of textbooks or empty spaces in notebooks whenever he got bored. Even Haejun himself had forgotten, too busy just surviving to remember things like that. He accepted the gift gratefully.

By the time they finished catching up on everything they’d missed, the hours had flown by. It was already time for Yohan to head to work. Haejun got up too, thinking he should start heading back.

Yohan had just sat on his bike and was about to put on his helmet when he suddenly paused and looked at Haejun.

His hair was neatly styled to suit his face, his skin—always smooth to begin with—looked almost hydrated now, so clear it seemed like droplets might splash up if someone poked it, and more than anything, the brightness in his expression indirectly revealed what kind of place he was staying in now.

At the very least, it didn’t seem like the kind of dark hole where bugs crawled around like before. The depression wrapped around him like a shadow hadn’t completely disappeared, but °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° it felt like sunlight had begun slipping into the cracks.

“Hey,” Yohan called.

“You look good.”

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

Haejun’s lips had been curved into a smile the whole time they talked. It probably wasn’t just because he was happy to see his friend.

“Then that’s enough.”

Love and all that shit—Yohan didn’t know anything about it. He’d only ever heard it was the kind of emotion that turned people into idiots. But seeing the positive change it had brought to Haejun, maybe it didn’t only work in horrifying ways.

Haejun’s reflection in the side mirror grew smaller and smaller.

For some reason, Yohan felt strangely empty inside. It was like the feeling of a bird left alone as the sibling it had once huddled against in a tiny nest, weathering wind and rain together, prepared to leave the nest and become independent.

Guess it’s about time he left the nest.

He can’t stay the friend in my arms forever.

Even trying to think coldly about it, there was still a hollow ache inside him, like watching the younger brother he’d practically raised like a son finally stand on his own. All the moments they’d shared so far flashed past like a montage.

The times they curled up in the corner of a room trying to sleep while avoiding the rain dripping from the ceiling. The times they had no money and filled their stomachs with leftover cold rice from a restaurant and a single pack of ramen. The time Yohan hid Haejun when gangsters were chasing him and got beaten half to death for it, only for Haejun to come running out because he couldn’t stand watching, and both of them ended up getting the shit kicked out of them.

It would have been unbearable alone, but because it was with Haejun, somehow every hardship had been survivable.

“...Guess I’m getting old, thinking this kind of crap.”

It wasn’t like they’d never see each other again. Feeling this sentimental was ridiculous. Yohan let out a self-mocking little laugh. He tried to hold on to a sense of reality, but even then, the feeling that something had been scooped out of him wouldn’t go away.

Yohan just chalked it up to simple hunger and rubbed his stomach. Besides, Haejun had given him side dishes. If his stomach was empty, he could just fill it with food.

* * *

It happened near dawn.

After coming into Lee Kangjoo’s house, Haejun stayed in the room he’d used before. Since the owner of the house hadn’t said anything, he’d naturally chosen that room.

“Ahk...!”

Thud—

He rolled right off the bed in his sleep.

Because his ankle was still bothering him, he hadn’t been able to catch his balance properly, and that was all it took for the minor commotion to happen. frёewebnoѵēl.com

The noise was far louder than the scale of the accident warranted, and Lee Kangjoo came to check. He found Haejun rubbing his numb ass after smacking into the floor and let out a deep sigh.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I just fell for a second...”

His sleeping habits weren’t usually this bad, so he was wondering what the hell had happened. Just as Haejun awkwardly tried to climb back onto the bed, Lee Kangjoo bent down and effortlessly scooped him up. Supporting him beneath the thighs as if handling a child, he carried him out of the room.

“Sir?”

“From now on, sleep in my room.”

“What? Why? No, I’m not trying to talk back, I’ll just sleep in my room. I’d hate to disturb your sleep for no reason...”

“What Cha Haejun is doing right now is talking back.”

The firm voice that cut him off made Haejun clamp his mouth shut.

Only after Lee Kangjoo set him down on his own bed did Haejun look up at him, eyes full of questions.

“I’m seriously worried. I could kick you in my sleep, you know.”

“Your sleeping habits aren’t that bad.”

Since they’d slept together before in the officetel, it was only natural that Lee Kangjoo knew Haejun’s sleeping habits. Even so, while Haejun still hesitated, Lee Kangjoo laid him down against the wall side of the bed and lay down beside him. The bed was big enough that there was still plenty of room even with both of them on it.

“Can I really sleep here?”

“Better than you rolling off again.”

As if telling him to stop talking, Lee Kangjoo pulled the blanket over him. Then he even patted his chest gently, like putting a baby to sleep.

The pillow and blanket seemed to carry Lee Kangjoo’s scent.

No—not just that.

The entire room was steeped in Lee Kangjoo. He was dissolved into the very air clinging to Haejun’s skin.

Normally this would already be the time he’d fallen asleep, but lying next to Lee Kangjoo after so long made it impossible to drift off easily. Haejun stared wide-eyed at the ceiling. He wanted to turn onto his side, but he didn’t dare move carelessly in case he woke him.

“You can’t sleep?”

While he was pointlessly counting sheep in his head, Lee Kangjoo’s voice suddenly came from beside him. The sheep on the blue meadow vanished like smoke, leaving only Lee Kangjoo behind. In an instant, even the drowsiness he’d had disappeared.

“...No.”

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s not that... Huh. Then why can’t I sleep?”

He knew why.

It was because Lee Kangjoo was right beside him.

Truth was, the spot below his navel had been itchy for a while now. He wanted to jerk off or something, but there was no way in hell he could do that with Lee Kangjoo right next to him, so he was killing the urge by counting innocent sheep instead.

Ever since he injured his leg, there had been almost no physical contact unless he was the one throwing himself in for a hug first, or unless Lee Kangjoo picked him up like earlier. Being in the same space, in a room filled with Lee Kangjoo’s traces, naturally set the fuse on fire.

Lately, for a bunch of reasons, he’d been half-forced into abstinence, so the speed at which the fire spread through his whole body was terrifying. At this rate, he might fool around with Lee Kangjoo in his dreams and wake up having a wet dream. Sleeping in the same bed, he desperately wanted to avoid ending up sneaking awake at dawn like a thief to scrub his underwear in secret.

Back in the officetel, he’d shamelessly thrown every bit of flirtation he had at Lee Kangjoo in the name of being dedicated to his job. But now that he was in Lee Kangjoo’s house, for some reason he felt intimidated. It was harder to just recklessly throw himself at him the way he used to.

“Maybe it’s the position. I think I’d be fine if I lay on my side.”

Haejun deliberately turned to face the wall. In his head he started reciting the national anthem and pulled the blanket all the way up to his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut and lectured himself that he was an adult, that he could control his libido whenever he wanted.

But the more you tell it to stop, the more a dick likes to throw a tantrum.

It lifted its head high like it was angrily demanding why the hell it had to die. It got so hard his lower stomach started to ache.

Well, he was facing away anyway, so Lee Kangjoo wouldn’t know. Once he fell asleep, Haejun could sneak out and take care of it, he thought, this time even reciting the Buddhist chants his grandmother used to listen to while pinching his own thigh.

At that exact moment, warmth pressed against his back.

It was Lee Kangjoo.

He moved closer lazily and suddenly slipped a hand straight into Haejun’s pants.

“Hhk...!”

Haejun flinched and curled his body inward. His twitching cock landed right in Lee Kangjoo’s grip. The large hand slowly wrapped around the flesh, sliding up and then pulling back down, making Haejun’s lips tremble violently.

“This is why you’re having such a hard time.”

The voice drilling into his ear was obscenely sexy. Just hearing it made clear liquid gather at the tip of his cock.

He wanted to grab Lee Kangjoo’s hand and shake it wildly. The stillness of that hand was maddening, and without realizing it he started moving his hips ever so slightly. A laugh sounded from behind him. A shallow ripple, like a pebble tossed into water, traveled from the other man’s chest into his back.

Lee Kangjoo’s hand slithered under his clothes like a snake. One hand held his cock while the other traced up from his navel and wandered over his chest. It flicked one of his tiny nipples, then caught it between thumb and forefinger and lightly crushed it.

“Ah—!”

Haejun’s head tipped back. frёeweɓηovel.coɱ

That was the real beginning.