Free Web NovelChapter 1913: Chapter 490: I Really Want to Kill Her!
Oliva’s obvious silence, and the faint mist that quickly rose and dissipated in his eyes, Ruth naturally noticed.
Even though his heart had been tempered a thousand times over, and his emotions rarely fluctuated, after understanding Aislin’s matter, he couldn’t hold back that sigh, and his mood stayed low for a long time.
It was only in the past two days that Ruth had managed to revive his spirit... He had long learned to organize his emotions through repeated losses.
Otherwise, how could he remain unmoved amidst so many blows.
But he could also understand Oliva’s sadness, this child Oliva... although his mind was somewhat blunt, he didn’t have a bad heart.
Although Aislin caused him a lot of trouble and always saw him as a rival... their competition actually had a certain tacit understanding.
They always saw each other as their final opponent.
But in the Tower of Dark Enigma, no, indeed, as long as it’s a place like a Magic Tower, competitors could never have a final word.
So, Oliva and Aislin were actually tacit collaborators in a competitive atmosphere.
Even if they didn’t get along, they could join forces quickly when facing a common enemy.
However, Oliva didn’t like Aislin’s attitude toward her own people, so they often clashed in those types of events... And in the Magic Tower, one’s viewpoint regarding his own people is the easiest to maintain.
If their common enemy had the opportunity to pass judgment on their relationship, then Aislin and Oliva could never have become Eighth Ring Mages.
Ruth’s students, however, couldn’t quite understand their situation... After all, in front of them, the two fought quite ruthlessly.
But Gilbert, Ruth thought during the last hall meeting, might have seen through it.
Indeed, although Ruth didn’t care too much about backgrounds, people of noble origin, even if not inherently meticulous, were always sensitive to interpersonal relationships.
That was an instinct cultivated from childhood.
Gilbert was no exception.
That guy survived so comfortably even when he was severely injured and in a terrible temper, all because of his keen reflex nerves.
Ruth knew very well that his care, no matter when, was a double-edged sword. Only those who knew how to avoid harm to themselves could remain in his hall.
He could indeed prevent others from harming his students but couldn’t stop them from harming themselves.
This was why, even though he was so protective of his students, the number around him wasn’t higher than Nicholson’s.
The number of Nicholson’s students was indeed large, but among the legitimate line of students, there was no significant difference.
It was just that Nicholson used his family’s bloodline to compensate for the quantity gap between him and the excellent students who chose Ruth because of the level difference, and also the loss of some students due to Nicholson’s carelessness.
On Ruth’s side, he only consumed less, but... for Inner Ring Mages of such a Great Magic Tower, the true enemy was mostly themselves.
Even if others played dirty tricks, it was their own desires that led them to a dead end.
So, even Ruth wouldn’t overmanage such students.
What he truly focused on were the students who could sit on either side of his hall, with the confidence to speak their mind.
Ruth gently shook his head.
Even though his mood had improved quite a bit, in recent days, he still easily fell into memories.
Aislin.
No matter how many shortcomings the girl had, she was always respectful and affectionate to Ruth.
Yet, she disappeared so silently and without a trace.
Ruth’s greatest helplessness and regret was that he couldn’t even avenge that girl.
No, it should be said, it was hard to even speak of avenging her.
Because the person who chose to let Aislin disappear was herself.
Ruth never fooled himself... Now, this ’Aislin’ was certainly his enemy.
But the reason for being her enemy was stance, not for Aislin’s revenge.
"Teacher... Is this all we can do?" Oliva asked softly.
"What doesn’t exist can’t be retrieved," Ruth said coldly.
He did think about whether there was a way to save Aislin, but unfortunately, the girl was merely an illusory existence.
And a vanished illusion, without even a soul.
"No, that’s not what I meant," Oliva lowered his head, and veins bulged on the back of his clenched hands, "I mean, is it not possible to have a grave that belongs to Aislin?
Even if that wrapping paper can never be found again, at least let people know there was once a paper called Aislin in this world.
Rather than... after she exposed her true self, there was no longer a name called Aislin."
Oliva was very clear, no matter who the real Aislin was, the fact that Ruth chose to endure proved her strength.
Deep background indeed can make people retreat, but if it can make him die silently, with no trace left, then the background is merely an adjective, heard and forgotten.
Only if he has some skills and lets people know he’s not someone easily crushed, does the background become a noun that pressures others.
So, once Aislin publicly reveals her identity, the name ’Aislin’ might disappear from history... and long after, when others mention this affair, who would use her former name?
Oliva had read many history books, and he understood this well.
Oliva truly hoped to leave a mark for his little sister who occupied most of his past life.
But he also knew that all of this could only be established if it didn’t affect the bigger picture.
They were inherently weak, every step needed caution... so even the smallest wish couldn’t be easily spoken.
Oliva himself didn’t expect he would have the courage to say this.
He was quite good at self-preservation!
Ruth glanced at his first disciple... no matter how unwilling Aislin was in the past toward this matter, now, it’s no longer a topic needing discussion... he gently shook his head: "It’s very difficult, Oliva, extremely difficult."
Looking at the bowed Oliva, he softly sighed: "If it’s possible, of course I would strive for it."
Oliva suddenly raised his head.
"I... also don’t want people to feel my years of favoritism were all wasted on a dog.
That would be too disgraceful."
Though Ruth spoke coldly, Oliva couldn’t help but smile, albeit with a bit of stiffness and desolation.
"I don’t know if this is drinking poison as a toast, or waking you up earlier." Ruth glanced at Oliva and very calmly said, "The current Aislin is still in the phase of slowly dissolving that paper layer on her body.
She will work earnestly, but also suddenly want to do bad things.
I can only watch silently.
If you still can’t accept reality, then, also just watch!
Just consider that Aislin has gotten an incurable fatal disease... heading towards annihilation with every passing day, every second.
But, can you manage not to show any change in expression?"
Oliva seriously nodded, then suddenly shook his head: "No, teacher, I can’t do it."
He gently lowered his head, his voice carrying a hint of rawness: "Teacher, I, really can’t.
I can probably accept Aislin’s passing, but can’t accept this kind of result.
Each second I see her, I have to suppress my killing intent.
Aislin is gone, then why, with what reason does she exist?
I know it’s foolish to think this way, and understand the opponent is too powerful for me to touch... yet the more it is like this, the more I..."
He didn’t say more, but Ruth understood Oliva’s thoughts.
Actually, in the midnight dreams, he too had such thoughts: if it were possible for this person to die under the name of Aislin, how great that would be!
Then his Aislin would forever be Aislin, not some inexplicable god and demon.
Yet, he could do nothing.
Just like in the past, when he could only watch his teacher and senior brothers go to die with calm acceptance.
Watching them crazily calculate every day how to die to buy more time for the Tower of Dark Enigma, hearing their frantic strategies being instilled... at that time, Ruth really lived in powerless anger.
Ruth could only enter meditation after clearing his mind of the thought of accompanying them in death.
Even though he was indeed as the teacher said, resolute enough to accept all this and overcome its influence... nevertheless, he was human!
Even though his teacher and senior brothers eventually found a way to keep Ruth from being so lonely that he went insane, Ruth had to fight back and forth with himself many times before he escaped the trap of those emotions.
After coming through, he indeed became a very qualified Tower Master, but that almost killed the old Ruth.
Now Ruth has obviously let go... especially since he could almost seamlessly reach Eighth Ring, and even touch the line of Ninth Ring.
In this world, a Ninth Ring Mage as young as Ruth simply does not exist, all are people from his teacher’s era.
But, Ruth coldly laughed, who would willingly accept such a life?
Letting go of the past doesn’t mean being willing to live such a life.
The main reason he could become Ninth Ring was his talents and willpower, not his experiences... if there hadn’t been so many messes, Ruth believed he could still have reached where he is now, just needing more time.
Between these two choices, Ruth doesn’t know if he counts as pretending to be innocent by receiving and then claiming it... but he indeed wishes he still were the youngster living happily under the protection of his teacher and senior brothers.
