Surviving as a Maid of the Sichuan Tang Clan

Tang Juhee.

The Tang Clan’s eldest young lady—whose hobby was manufacturing extreme poisons—had a nasty reputation among the maids.

Because her moods swung up and down as naturally as breathing.

Not that there was any such thing as a “good-natured” Tang in the first place, but Tang Juhee was especially bad.

‘It’s because she eats too much poison. If poison energy affects your head, people get weird.’

That’s what someone said.

‘No, she was born like that. Just look at the eldest young master—what more do you need to know? Even Madam Im is unbelievably touchy.’

Someone else said it was her nature.

Either way, one fact stayed the same: Tang Juhee was a raging mood-swinger.

If Tang Yeongho was consistently trash, then Tang Juhee was like stepping across a stone bridge—crazy, then fine, then crazy again. Maybe once a month?

My mouth went dry on its own at the visit from the Mad Dog I’d only heard about.

I couldn’t even guess what kind of wind had blown this infamous young lady into coming to see me.

“What brings you here so early?”

“I had something to do.”

That was me asking what that “something” was.

Even with my face twisted like I’d chewed on dung, Tang Juhee stayed perfectly calm.

“You’re Myriad-Poison-Immune, right?”

“Pardon? Yes.”

“What a shame. I had a pretty poison that would’ve suited you perfectly, but I guess I can’t feed it to you.”

What kind of nonsense—poison is poison no matter how “pretty” it is.

The Elder Council had been like that too, but what was with these Tang people loving to feed other people poison so much?

Tang Juhee smacked her lips with a demure little face, and a pure-white snake suddenly poked its head out from inside her sleeve.

“Eek!”

Songji shrieked without thinking and hurriedly clapped a hand over her mouth. I slid my body back, inch by inch.

“Th-That. Could you please put the snake away?”

“Baek-i doesn’t bite.”

Yeah, probably just you. Couldn’t you see it hissing and looking for prey right now?

“Even so. I don’t like... slippery things.”

“Really? Baek-i, stay inside.”

When I pressed again, Tang Juhee obediently tucked the snake back in.

She strode farther inside and looked around my annex with eyes full of curiosity.

“Small.”

“Yes, yes. It’s small. Would you like some tea?”

“No need. You don’t have clothes, do you?”

“Pardon?”

“You’ve been living as a maid. You don’t have anything to wear.”

......Wow. What is this girl?

For a second, I went speechless. She didn’t seem malicious from her expression, but from the listener’s side, it was just absurd.

“No? I brought some in case you didn’t.” freewebnσvel.cѳm

“Pardon?”

“Ah—do you not like clothes other people wore? Then I’ll only give you things I’ve never worn. Yeah, that’s better.”

She reached a conclusion all by herself and clapped toward the doorway.

“Soso.”

A maid came in, grunting as she carried a wooden chest.

“Soso. Pick out only the new clothes I’ve never worn.”

“All twelve sets are unworn, my lady.”

“Really? Then take them all out.”

“Yes, my lady.”

The maid answered politely and began pulling silk outfits from the chest.

......What is she, seriously?

They said when you’re too flustered, your brain goes blank—turns out that was true. I stood there dumbly, and only then did my voice rise.

“Excuse me—what is all this...?”

“Not ‘excuse me.’ Call me Juhee.”

“Huh?”

“You can call me Sister Juhee. I like you.”

“Why? This is the first time we’ve met.”

“Because you’re pretty.”

“.......”

Was she actually insane?

The more I talked to Tang Juhee, the more my mind went foggy. Even at my stunned, vacant face, she only looked bright and delighted.

“White would suit you. Try this on.”

“Sister. I’m grateful you’re taking care of me, but do you know what time it is? I haven’t even washed my face yet.”

“Do you want to try this hair ornament? Butterflies are trendy right now.”

Hey. Are you even listening? I said I haven’t washed my face.

Tang Juhee got excited and forced me into outfit after outfit. She braided my hair, undid it, braided it again, cackling the whole time—like she’d bought a new doll and couldn’t wait to play.

I gave up on everything and just went along with Tang Juhee’s doll game.

“Chohui hates dressing up, so I never got to do this with her. This is fun.”

......Sure. As long as you’re happy.

She didn’t seem like a bad kid, but her condition was... something.

“Should I paint your nails too? Do you like red, or black?”

“Sister. Aren’t we going to eat?”

“Black, then? Oh my, your bracelet is white jade. Pretty. So it’s nerve poison? If you really want to kill someone, dragon-blood poison is better.”

“Yes. Yes.”

“You don’t grow your nails? I have lots of pretty Nail Guards too.”

“What’s that?”

“This.”

Tang Juhee lifted her left pinky—the one she’d been painting. On it was a fingertip protector fitted snugly over the finger.

The Nail Guard was so gaudy it made my eyes hurt, jewels packed all over it, but it kept making me think of a familiar snack.

It looks like one of those corn-cone chips stuck on her finger......

Maybe she mistook my odd stare for interest, because her eyes glittered.

“Do you want to grow your nails? Want a Nail Guard too? I’ll even give you an extreme poison to coat the tip. Let’s learn claw techniques.”

“Claw techniques? Sister, don’t you use hidden weapons?”

“Sometimes? But it’s boring if you only throw things from far away. I like crashing into people and trading blows.”

“Ah...”

“And it hurts more when you hold it and hit someone than when you throw it. If you pour internal energy into a jade ring and punch, even Black Cloud Guard warriors cry from the pain.”

So... brass knuckles. Also, why are you going around punching Black Cloud Guard warriors?

“You’re learning martial arts from Grand Elder too, right? What did you learn? Did you learn fist-and-kick techniques? Hurry up and learn so you can spar with me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why? You don’t like fist-and-kick techniques? Then should we spar with hidden weapons?”

“No. I just don’t want to spar.”

“Spar” was a nice word for it, but she was basically asking me to fight.

Why did everything end in sparring?

Tang Juhee tilted her head like my answer was incomprehensible.

“Why? There’s nothing as fun as sparring.”

“Sister, you think sparring is fun?”

“Yeah. That boiling-blood feeling is thrilling. And I can beat up Tang Yeongho. When you spar, you don’t get scolded for hitting people.”

Tang Juhee looked nothing like her face—she was aggressive. Even if she liked dressing up, the blood of a martial artist still ran in her.

Also, I was pretty sure I’d just heard something insane.

“Pardon? Who are you beating up?”

When I asked again, doubting my ears, Tang Juhee blew softly on my nails and answered.

“You don’t know Tang Yeongho? Our house’s first. Haven’t you seen him yet? There’s this idiot who became the Young Clan Head just because he was lucky enough to be born early.”

So I had heard right.

At this point, I almost felt sorry for Tang Yeongho.

If getting looked down on by everyone was a talent, then it really was his talent. Maybe he got twisted because he’d been disrespected so much.

After she finished painting all ten of my fingers, Tang Juhee set the brush down, satisfied.

“If it chips, tell me. I’ll paint them again. I can also coat the tips with poison.”

“You didn’t put poison on them, right?”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Seriously?”

“Actually, I did a little.”

“What?”

“Just kidding.”

......That didn’t feel like a joke. Should I go wash my hands?

I stared down at my nails with a suspicious look when a familiar voice reached me.

“I didn’t expect Juhee to be here. You two—are you already close? That’s lovely.”

“Brother Un!”

Tang Juhee sprang up and ran into Tang Un’s arms. Tang Un swayed hard from the impact, then patted her back.

“Oh my. You’re getting stronger and stronger, Juhee. Your brother can’t handle you anymore.”

“Brother Un, look. I brought clothes for the youngest. Pretty, right?”

Tang Juhee released him and pointed at me, beaming. Her pitch-black eyes sparkled like a child begging for praise.

Tang Un smiled and indulged his sister’s sulking-cute act.

“Did you? Our Juhee is so kind.”

“Oh, and Brother Un—yesterday, I...!”

Tang Juhee launched into a rambling story no one asked for, chattering endlessly.

Tang Yeongho was “the idiot,” but Tang Un was “Brother Un.”

When I dredged up the blurry memory of Tang Yeongho’s face, I immediately understood Tang Juhee’s blatant discrimination.

If you put a flat flounder next to a flower-deer, I’d choose the deer too. Tang Un was pretty. Not even comparable.

And the way she’d liked me on sight... yeah. Tang Juhee probably judged people by their faces.

“Alright, Juhee. Let’s go eat now. Sohae, you come too.”

After listening to Tang Juhee’s chatter without a single hint of irritation, Tang Un offered his hand to me as well.

I slipped between the two of them and headed for the Clan Head’s Hall.

*****

Honestly, my biggest worry had been whether I could sit across from Tang Muheok and eat a meal.

I felt like if I saw that face while °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° eating, I’d get mouth sores.

But that bastard father wasn’t the big problem.

The real problem was my blood relatives.

Sitting at the table after Tang Un, I had to fight for my life to keep a smile on my face.

The one reeking of alcohol from early morning, belching like it was his job—that was the first, Tang Yeongho.

The lunatic pressing down on a snake’s head at the table and squeezing out concentrated venom—that was the “Mad Dog,” Tang Juhee.

And the guy beside her, blowing a flute like he was running a king cobra show—

“Brother Un. Who is that?”

“Juyeop, you mean?”

So that was Tang Juyeop—the fifth child.

His playing was so bad that if he performed in the street he’d get pelted with rocks, but his expression was pure artist.

......I really wanted to go home.

When my face went through every color of the rainbow, Tang Un chuckled softly.

“Just because you’re born into a martial family doesn’t mean you must devote yourself to martial study. Knowing how to enjoy elegance is also a fine way to live. Don’t you think so?”

Brother Un, that sounded an awful lot like, That punk skips training and goes out to play, but that’s just how he is, so let him be.

It was chaos, but everyone except me looked completely used to these antics—like none of this was strange at all.

Seeing the state of the siblings gathered here, I had a strong feeling the three who hadn’t arrived yet wouldn’t be normal either.

Separate from how I felt about that bastard father, I almost pitied him.

How did he manage to raise not a single normal kid? What a catastrophic harvest.

As if he’d read the scorching state of my insides, Tang Un handed me a teacup. It was green tea cold-steeped over ice.

“Would you like cold tea? Summer’s coming, so they brought ice out from the servants’ compound.”

“......Thank you, Brother Un.”

I swallowed the cold tea in one go, crunching the ice between my teeth, and prayed this time would pass quickly.