Free Web NovelChapter 330: Chapter 317: If I Can’t Slap the Face, I’ll Spank the Butt
"Damn it, that bastard!"
The Profound Dao Sect disciples above the Wooden Man Alley burst into amused curses. If not for the Barrier separating them, they probably would have already buried Shen Lang under a pile of rocks and garbage.
Shen Lang’s clowning around was truly exasperating.
When experts fought, how could they possibly continue if their attention was constantly being diverted like this?
Hao Fengliu, whose Cultivation was originally quite high, had her state of mind thrown into complete disarray. She was being beaten by Shang Xiaoran so badly that she had almost no strength to fight back!
’This is bad. If this goes on, I won’t last more than a few minutes... I need to retreat first, meet up with the others in the next stage, and then deal with them!’ Beads of sweat dripped down Hao Fengliu’s face as the thought of retreating took hold.
Just then, Shen Lang stepped forward again and announced, "Watch out for this bitch, she’s trying to run! Hmph, looks like this woman’s Spiritual Power is almost spent. She’s at her limit—yep, it’s time for me to take the stage! Bitch, I’m going to let you know that I’m actually really strong! I just couldn’t be bothered to fight a woman like you!!"
As he spoke, Shen Lang took out another Cyan Talisman.
This time, he wasn’t playing any tricks. A ball of Spirit Light enveloped the Talisman in his hand, and he suddenly slapped it onto the ground!
Seeing this, Hao Fengliu’s eyes widened. Enveloped in a current of air, she floated several steps to the side, her gaze fixed on Shen Lang’s every move.
A Tier Four Talisman was incredibly powerful; even a Spirit Martial Realm Fifth Heaven Martial Artist wouldn’t dare face one head-on. She had already expended too much energy. If she had to face another Tier Four Talisman now, her only option would be to flee!
And besides, there was still the troublesome Shang Xiaoran to deal with!
BAM!
Shen Lang’s palm strike shattered the stone slab on the ground, sending a cloud of dust billowing upwards. Then, a herd of large white pigs, oinking loudly, charged toward the dueling Hao Fengliu and Shang Xiaoran.
"..."
Many of the Profound Dao Sect disciples watching from above nearly fell out of the sky!
"This guy... After all that, he just used a deceptive Illusory God Talisman! I give up, he’s unbelievable!" someone said irritably.
"I thought he was going to use a powerful Talisman, but he was just tricking everyone again. How absurd!"
"It’s a child’s prank. Sure, it has some effect and distracts the opponent, but so what? It’s not going to make a bigger difference."
No one noticed the cold, mocking smile that curved Shen Lang’s lips...
The so-called Illusory God Talisman possessed no offensive power; it merely conjured illusions of certain objects or scenes.
Originally, it was a means of transmitting information or recording events.
Later, it evolved into the cheapest type of deceptive Talisman.
Some used images of beautiful women to create Illusory God Talismans, while others managed to capture images of powerful Demon Beasts for the same purpose...
It was all just a type of Illusion Technique, meant to deceive an enemy and distract them.
For example, if a large group of scantily clad women or a gigantic Demon Beast suddenly appeared in the middle of a great battle, it could indeed distract someone, creating an opening for their opponent to exploit.
But that was the extent of it.
The appearance of a High Tier Demon Beast could certainly fluster many people, even causing them to turn and flee, but in reality, a single sweep of one’s Divine Thought would reveal it to be fake.
Moreover, things like naked women had been used so often that they had basically lost all effect.
Whenever something like that suddenly appeared on the battlefield, any fool would know their opponent was using an Illusory God Talisman or some other Illusion Technique. It was nothing new. fɾeewebnoveℓ.co๓
As for powerful Demon Beasts, the prerequisite was that the creator of the Illusory God Talisman had to take enormous risks to secretly record the beast; otherwise, creating such a Talisman was impossible.
But as for a scene with a herd of large white pigs, this was a first for everyone present. They all burst out laughing.
Strictly speaking, however, this Illusory God Talisman had achieved the effect Shen Lang desired.
For such a large herd of white pigs to appear in the less-than-spacious plaza was, in its own way, a rather stunning sight.
Hao Fengliu had been watching Shen Lang’s every move. When she saw the herd of white pigs, she couldn’t help but freeze for a moment, completely baffled.
By the time she snapped out of it, she was once again sent dodging left and right in a pathetic state by Shang Xiaoran’s swift attacks!
"You little bastard, you tricked me again! I’ll skin you alive!"
Shen Lang stood up straight and roared with laughter. "Hahahaha! I’ve tricked you again and again, and you fall for it every time. Calling you as stupid as a pig is being polite! And you have the nerve to say I tricked you? I was specifically tricking a big white pig like you!"
"Damn it!" The faces of the spectating Profound Dao Sect disciples above instantly fell, becoming as long as a donkey’s.
Hao Fengliu was always falling for it, but weren’t they, too?
With a single sentence, Shen Lang had just called all of them pigs.
But Shen Lang clearly didn’t notice their expressions. He crossed his arms and continued, "Not only are you an idiot, you don’t even know how to curse properly. It’s the same line over and over. You still dare say you’re not stupid? Ooh, are you angry now? I said you’re as stupid as a pig, and even the pigs aren’t mad. What are you getting mad about?"
"You, you, you..." Hao Fengliu was about to go insane with rage.
Before Hao Fengliu could finish her sentence, the herd of large white pigs passed right through her and Shang Xiaoran.
But just as the herd of pigs moved past the two women, something strange happened!
Hao Fengliu, in the midst of battle, and the crowd above all noticed it... Four deep furrows had appeared in the ground where the illusory herd of pigs had run!
This was definitely not normal!
It was clearly just an Illusory God Talisman, and the herd of white pigs was clearly just a phantom image. How could it cause such destruction?
Illusory God Talismans didn’t create physical entities, did they?
In the instant everyone was stunned, Hao Fengliu’s expression changed drastically. She stomped her right foot hard against the ground, launching herself into the air!
But her realization came too late. The moment her foot left the ground, four thick tree roots shot out from the earth with a RIPPING sound, grabbing her by the ankle in the blink of an eye!
They spiraled up from her ankle, instantly binding her body tight!
SWOOSH!
Seizing the opportunity, Shang Xiaoran closed the distance. She slammed a fist into Hao Fengliu’s abdomen with her left hand, while the Short Sword in her right hand shot out in a simple, direct thrust, piercing Hao Fengliu’s right wrist!
CLANG!
Hao Fengliu shrieked as the Short Sword fell from her hand and clattered to the ground.
Shang Xiaoran swept her Short Sword sideways, pressing the blade against Hao Fengliu’s neck!
The battle was finally over.
"The Illusory God Talisman with the white pigs was just a cover for the Vine Talisman that followed. And you, laughing and mocking me... that was all to distract me... What an insidious brat!" Hao Fengliu seethed, grinding her teeth.
The moment Hao Fengliu spoke, Shang Xiaoran flourished her Short Sword and, without hesitation, plunged it into Hao Fengliu’s exposed left arm!
"Ah!"
Hao Fengliu cried out in pain again.
With both hands stabbed, she had completely lost her ability to fight for the time being.
"I just said it. My tricks are so clumsy, yet you fell for them again and again. Do you still dare to say you’re not a pig? Tsk, tsk, tsk, how cruel, how bloody... Why must women make things so difficult for other women?" Shen Lang said, walking over with a pitiful expression.
Under the stunned gazes of the crowd, Shen Lang slapped Hao Fengliu across the face and said, "Let me!"
’This guy...’ Shang Xiaoran couldn’t help but roll her eyes.
With that one slap, Hao Fengliu’s naturally enchanting face immediately swelled up. She shrieked madly, "You little bastard, if you have any guts, don’t hit my face! If you have any guts, just kill me!"
"Not the face, huh?"
Shen Lang looked at the sweat-wiping Shang Xiaoran with a troubled expression, then raised his hand and punched Hao Fengliu in the chest.
Besides the head, a person’s most vulnerable spot is their heart. Shen Lang’s punch landed right over Hao Fengliu’s heart.
However, that wasn’t how others saw it...
A trickle of blood seeped from the corner of Hao Fengliu’s mouth. Burning with shame and anger, she screamed, "Lewd! Shameless! Hitting my chest to take advantage of me! I’ll never let you get away with this!"
The spectating Profound Dao Sect disciples were dumbfounded. For a scene like this to unfold in the Wooden Man Alley was simply...
Too brilliant!
Too exciting!
This scene alone was worth the price of admission!
The crowd’s eyes were shining as they watched, completely forgetting about the exciting battles happening in the later stages...
With a dark expression, Shen Lang took out a Locking Chain and bound Hao Fengliu’s hands and feet. Then, without a word, he laid her body across his lap and landed a hard slap on her butt.
SMACK!
The slap was crisp and loud.
"..."
This time, it wasn’t just the spectating Profound Dao Sect disciples who were dumbfounded; even Shang Xiaoran and Zheng Donghong, who were standing nearby, were completely stunned.
"To the victor go the spoils. I hit you a couple of times and you’re already trying to pick the spot? Can’t hit the face, can’t hit the chest... You think you’re in any position to bargain with me? You’re lucky I haven’t just killed you with one slash!"
SMACK! Another slap.
"Every time you open your mouth, it’s ’I’ll skin you alive,’ or ’I’ll kill you,’ but you’re not happy when I slap you a couple of times?"
SMACK! Another slap.
"What? You feel wronged? I don’t even know you, but you were dead set on slaughtering me. Can’t I fucking slap you a couple of times?"
SMACK! Another slap.
"To deal with you, I almost used up all my Talismans! I nearly went bankrupt! The fact that I haven’t stripped you naked and hung you on one of the wooden men is me being as benevolent as possible, and you’re still fucking telling me where I can and can’t hit you?"
SMACK!
After this last slap, Shen Lang threw the woman harshly onto the ground and stood up, showing not a shred of compassion.
Strangely, Hao Fengliu endured it all without a sound, merely biting her lip tightly...
"Are you done hitting her? Why’d you stop?" Shang Xiaoran asked, her face flushed and her expression odd.
Shen Lang shook his head. "No. My hand’s gone numb."
"..." Shang Xiaoran stood frozen on the spot.
Shen Lang rubbed his palm and added, "We’ve wasted enough time. Let’s deal with her quickly and move on to the next stage. There are still several more to go."
"How should we deal with her?" Shang Xiaoran asked, staring blankly for a moment at Hao Fengliu, who was tied up on the ground like a rice dumpling.
"She’s your enemy, yet you’re asking me how to deal with her?" Shen Lang said, turning around with a strange look.
"Steam her, braise her, take your pick. Behead her, give her the death of a thousand cuts, the choice is yours."
