Free Web NovelChapter 26: The Domestic Battlefield
"I’m just saying, if it wasn’t for my vampiric senses, we would be in a lot of trouble right now and wouldn’t have found that freshwater spring. So, a little gratitude would be nice!"
"Gratitude?" Vee scoffed, rolling her eyes as they navigated the damp corridor. "Carmilla, you walked us straight into a cavern nest filled with man-eating bugs! I had to fight them all off while you just sat behind your little bubble and hid!"
"I wasn’t hiding!" Carmilla snapped back, her cheeks flushing. "I was counting the number of them from a safe space. I can’t exactly perform expert arcane calculations while being eaten alive by insects!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, shrimpy."
"Still can’t get over my height, huh? Can’t you come up with a better insult?"
"Why would I do that?" Vee said, chuckling like an idiot.
"What do you mean by that?!" Carmilla asked, utterly confused by the sudden shift in tone. "Why are you laughing?"
Vee stopped in her tracks, carefully placed down the heavy jug of water she was carrying, and turned around to face Carmilla completely. "Carmilla."
"Yes?"
"After all these years, you’re still shorter than me," Vee said, letting out a heavy, exaggerated sigh. Her eyes filled with a look of profound pity. "You have quite the figure, an hourglass shape, beautiful hair, lovely large breasts... but, sigh."
"But what?! Talk!"
"You’re just second to me in everything," Vee said smugly, checking her nails. "I’m taller than you by a lot, my breasts are way bigger, I’m stronger, I’m cooler, plus—I actually have someone in my life who cares about me. And you’re still single."
"I am not single! I have a familiar!" Carmilla yelled, taking deep offense to the statement. "And you are not stronger than me in any way!"
"Oh? So your relationship with him is more than contractual?" Vee asked slyly, leaning her face down right into Carmilla’s personal space.
"Tch! I don’t have time for your games, get out of my face," Carmilla muttered, pushing past her. "Acting like you aren’t just as single as I am. I know for a certain fact that you and Yuki are not an actual couple... are you?"
Vee instantly stiffened, her long rabbit ears twitching awkwardly. "Um... no? I don’t exactly know what our relationship is at this exact moment."
Carmilla’s lips curled into a victorious smirk. "Do you want me to go ask him for you?"
"If you do that, Carmilla, I can promise you that I will throw you through a stone wall."
"Message received," Carmilla said, shaking her head. "Let’s just go."
The two girls finally arrived back at the campsite. As they approached the room, both of them fully expected to walk into some sort of catastrophic trouble between Yuki and Malakai. However, since Vee hadn’t received any frantic system alerts from the bond, she knew that Yuki wasn’t physically hurt.
"We’re back," Carmilla announced, pushing open the wooden room door.
To their absolute surprise, the scene before them was entirely peaceful.
The damp, depressing dungeon room had been completely transformed. There were two pristine, comfortable-looking tents pitched neatly in the corners. In the center sat a beautifully polished wooden dining table flanked by four matching chairs, complete with small, elegant decorative lanterns casting a warm, cozy glow over the space.
Standing by a makeshift, professionally organized cooking station was Yuki. He was humming a cheerful, blissful little tune, completely unworried about the apocalypse, and he was currently tied into a frilly white custom apron that he had clearly bought from his system’s lifestyle store. Malakai was sitting casually nearby on a carved stone stool, completely relaxed, watching the boy work with a thoroughly amused, highly lazy smirk.
"Well," Vee said, placing her hands on her hips as a massive grin broke out on her face. "I see that you’ve been being you, huh? Turning every single dungeon corner into a livable place. Nice. Time to eat!"
"Fat ass," Carmilla sneered under her breath, though her own stomach betrayed her by letting out a desperate growl. She quickly walked over to the table and sat down in one of the comfortable chairs.
Welcoming the ladies back from their trip with a bright, radiant smile on his face, Yuki happily grabbed his serving spoon and started dishing out their food.
As they all sat down and began to eat, Carmilla frowned, poking at her plate. "I still can’t believe a Pureblood Vampire such as yourself would be cooking like a lowly tavern maid... it’s completely unbefitting of royalty."
Malakai let out a soft chuckle, cutting into his own portion. "While he may behave like a well-equipped servant, his skills are actually those befitting royalty. Go ahead and take a bite, Princess. I can promise you it is exquisite."
"Well, I’ll take your word for it," Carmilla muttered. She raised her knife and fork, slicing off a generous bite of the honey-roasted steak.
She popped the meat into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. For a second, she went entirely still. Then, without a word, she immediately sliced off another, even larger bite. Before anyone could even utter a single syllable, half of the massive steak on her plate had vanished.
"It’s... it’s good," Carmilla said, quickly wiping her mouth with a napkin to maintain her dignity.
"Good? Girl, you gobbled down half of it in one second!" Vee pointed her fork accusingly at Carmilla.
"It doesn’t taste like dirt, okay? And it’s actually edible meat," Carmilla snapped, clicking her tongue and looking away.
Vee rolled her eyes. "Your pride will be the death of you, you know." Turning her attention across the table, she called out, "Hey, Malakai! Tell your master that Yuki’s cooking is fit for royalty, so she can put her snobbish pride aside and just appreciate it!"
"Princess," Malakai chimed in smoothly, his golden eyes gleaming with hidden mischief. "Yuki’s cooking is indeed quite exquisite and fit for royalty. I can testify to that myself. He is a very capable young man. I happen to have glanced at his status window earlier, and he possesses the Master Chef skill, along with a handful of other... highly useful passives. One of them is Expert Massager."
"Indeed!" Yuki piped up proudly, puffing out his chest. "My modified Pureblood body makes me a lot better with my fingers."
"Really?" Carmilla said, her tone dripping with annoyance and deep skepticism. She looked back and forth between Yuki and Malakai. She knew her ancient demon familiar incredibly well, and he was exactly the type of person to toy with her for his own amusement. "Then if it’s truly that impressive, show me your status window. Do that, and I will lower my head and praise your meal."
"....My status window?" Yuki’s proud voice instantly died in his throat.
"Yeah."
"Um.... well...." Yuki’s face went completely pale, sweat bullets forming on his forehead. "My cooking isn’t actually all that great! It’s just adequate, really. It needs a lot of room for improvement..."
Carmilla lowered her fork, placing it down directly on top of what was already her fifth empty steak plate. Her purple eyes narrowed to sharp slits. "What exactly are you hiding?"
"Dessert?! I’m so glad you asked! I’ll go get it right away!" Yuki blurted out, his face flushing a furious, scandalous red.
He scrambled out of his chair so fast that he violently knocked over his wooden stool. In a flash of pure panic, his armored tail whipped forward, catching the stool mid-fall just inches before it could slam into the ground.
Carmilla watched the display, her suspicion growing. "Does he have some sort of scandalous passive?" she asked Malakai the second Yuki bolted toward the kitchen station.
"Well...." Malakai began, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
Thud!
"Dessert is here! Time to eat!" Yuki yelled, slamming a tray of sweet treats onto the center of the table and forcefully cutting Malakai off before the demon could utter another single word.
