Free Web NovelChapter 1578. A New Normal (33)
I tried to force myself to hold it in, but I couldn’t control my emotions. Naturally, my jaw trembled; my hands and feet were shaking as well. The painful memory of losing precious Jin Young kept replaying inside my head over and over again. Though he always appeared calm on the outside, he possessed a heart warmer than anyone else.
Memories of the boy who ultimately threw his life away like a blade of grass for the sake of the continent suddenly surfaced in my head. I suddenly remembered the little child who loved and adored his father more than anyone.
“Papa is here?”
“Yes... Jin Young.”
“Th-Then...”
“Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like he has plans to stop by here. He appears to have too much work to do.”
“Ah...”
"Don't look so disappointed... You know better than anyone how much Papa loves you, don’t you?”
“I do...”
“The next time he comes, why not ask him to go on an outing together?”
“You’re coming as well, right?!”
“Of course.”
“Hehehe...”
“Hahaha... are you really that happy?”
“Yes!”
More tears burst out of my eyes. Now that I thought about it, he used to ask about his mother, too, whenever he had the chance.
“Hyung, do you know Mama?”
“I met her once. She was truly a beautiful lady.”
“Papa must’ve loved Mama a lot, right?”
“Of course! She was so wonderful that even the Commander fell for her at first sight. Can you imagine it? That strong, stubborn man became completely helpless whenever he was in front of your mother. He always tries his best to make her happy. He'll even cook for her himself and even sing songs for her.”
“Ah...”
“You’re not thinking about anything strange again, are you?”
“N-No...”
“...”
“...”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“...”
“Come here.”
Whenever that happened, I would hold him tightly in my arms. He had long realized that he was connected to his mother’s death, so he would become especially vulnerable during those moments. Watching him sob in my embrace was heartbreaking...
Honestly, back then, I even resented Papa Jin Cheong for sending him to the Democratic Country and then practically leaving him on his own afterward. Of course, going to the Democratic Country was Jin Young’s own choice.
Even from a very young age, that child knew what he was capable of doing and what he needed to do, but that didn’t mean he no longer needed someone to care for him.
Jin Young was still young; he was still at an age where he longed for his parents’ love. It was a little embarrassing to admit this myself, but I remembered filling part of that role myself.
“Hyung!”
“Jin Young.”
Somehow, it felt like Jin Young’s character had changed a little, but interpretations would naturally change depending on the situation and timing. It would probably be best to say that he could show his true self whenever he was around me. After all, the people staring at me had no way of knowing what kind of memories we shared.
“...”
“...”
‘But they can probably piece it together, right? Right? You can already picture it in your heads, can’t you?’
I could see the Anti-Lee-Ki-Young Faction staring blankly at me as if they had completely lost the ability to speak. Thankfully, or perhaps not thankfully, there didn’t seem to be anyone stupid enough to completely fail to understand what I was implying.
Even if they couldn’t grasp every detail, they needed to realize that I shared an extremely close relationship with Jin Young.
‘Yeah... I practically raised him myself...’ He grew up right beside me since he was young. ‘That Young Master you people never even got to know... I was the one who took care of him. I looked after him myself.’
The plausibility of it all was more than enough. In the first place, some mysterious power of the Jin Family was supposedly sealed inside Jin Young, so I could simply explain everything by saying he needed the Saint of Sacrifice and Revival to control it.
According to the original setting, unless the power was periodically suppressed or released, it would eventually go out of control. In fact, I still remember the day Jin Young lost control of it. I remembered becoming utterly exhausted by trying to stop him back then, and even now, I was still suffering from the wounds I had sustained that day.
Since then, I would become short of breath after moving even a little, and I couldn’t walk long distances anymore. Whenever I pushed myself too hard, I would become completely exhausted. Even my legs would hurt.
I suddenly clutched my chest. Kim Hyun-Sung and Jung Ha-Yan were startled.
“Mr. Ki-Young!”
“O-Oppa!”
“I’m fine. The injuries from back then just...” I trailed off. It seemed those two were the only ones who still had no idea what was happening, but thankfully, Jung Ha-Yan was already crying, which helped maintain the atmosphere.
Meanwhile, Han Sora was looking at Commander Jin as if he were pitiful, but I doubted whether that gaze was born from her genuine sympathy toward a father who had lost his son.
The retainers were probably seeing things from an entirely different perspective anyway.
Commander Jin finally regained his senses and muttered, “What kind of... nonsense...”
“I simply decided there was no point hiding it any longer. They deserve to know as well. No, not just them. The Republic and the entire continent deserve to know what Jin Young truly wanted, why he chose to remain in the Democratic Country, and about the two of us as well,” I told him.
“Y-You’re insane...”
If the retainers weren't around and if I weren't technically a guest, I was sure he would hurl curses at me. His face looked exactly like that. This was Commander Jin’s domain, but ironically, it looked like the very thing trapping him in place.
A man who had to maintain the dignity of a master in front of his retainers could hardly act freely.
“I-it was never supposed to turn out like this,” he muttered.
“...”
“...”
It sounded like he was saying that this wasn’t the kind of enjoyable battle of wits he had wanted us to share, but there was no way I could sympathize with him right now.
‘I-I didn’t expect things to turn out like this either. It just somehow ended up this way...’
Before I knew it, I turned him into a father who was still unable to move on from the grief and despair of losing his son. Commander Jin wasn’t stupid enough to miss the fact that doing nothing here would be the worst possible choice.
Almost immediately, he roared, “D-Drag those bastards out of here right now! Wanggang!”
He wanted to remove his loyal subordinates from his sight, even if it was only going to be for a brief moment.
“Do it now!”
“...”
“What are you all doing just standing around?!”
‘Commander, do you not realize that your voice is way too loud right now? You’re getting far too emotional. Anyone looking at you will think that your true feelings have been exposed, and the pain of having your wounds ripped open was too much for you to bear.’
“I said, get up! I can’t stand the sight of you lot! Get out of my sight!”
“...”
“You insane... insane bastards!"
However, the retainers still didn’t move. There was no way they could move. The shock of what they had just heard froze them in place.
Just then, even Kim Hyun-Sung, who had merely been quietly observing, stepped forward.
'Damn it. Now, he's about to give some grand speech while looking right at me.'
“I also... lost someone precious.”
“Wh-What?” Commander Jin questioned.
“That’s why I think I can understand how you feel. It must be painful. You must be wondering why life is so cruel to you alone, and why something like this had to happen to you. You must be trying to deny reality itself...
"I understand those feelings well enough. I’m not good with words, so I don’t know how to comfort you, but there’s one thing I absolutely want to say. You did nothing wrong, Commander Jin,” Kim Hyun-Sung said.
“D-Damn it...”
He was consoling Commander Jin with an unbelievably sincere expression. Naturally, there was no way Commander Jin could endure that look of pity in Kim Hyun-Sung’s eyes. To make matters worse, Kim Hyun-Sung even seemed ready to hug him in comfort, causing Commander Jin to recoil in shock and smack his hand away.
Slap!
It sounded like the air itself had exploded. If Commander Jin had slapped my arm away like that, my entire arm would have flown away and stuck to the ceiling.
“A fool whose only talents are feeding four-legged birds and buying bags at auctions actually dares to say something to me?!” Commander Jin roared.
‘O-Oh, no, this is bad. He’s actually furious.’
I felt like Kim Hyun-Sung's sympathetic gaze was too much for his pride to bear. At this point, it barely felt like he considered anyone here as guests, though the fact that he still hadn't lashed out at me suggested that he probably never thought of Kim Hyun-Sung as a guest in the first place.
“Don’t ever look at me with those eyes again! You spineless bastard!” Commander Jin shouted.
“Anger can’t heal grief. I—”
“I said shut your mouth!!!” Commander Jin cut him off.
“Commander Jin...”
“D-Damn it...” Commander Jin mumbled.
‘H-Hyun-Sung’s gonna suffer from emotional damage...’
It felt like I just caught a glimpse of what Commander Jin really thought of Kim Hyun-Sung. It wasn’t just that he had reacted violently to being pitied, but hearing him throw out insults like that made one thing painfully clear—Commander Jin didn’t even seem to regard Kim Hyun-Sung as a proper human being.
In his eyes, Kim Hyun-Sung probably looked more like some lump of rock incapable of independent thought.
Thankfully, Kim Hyun-Sung merely assumed that Commander Jin was speaking recklessly in the heat of anger, so he responded with nothing more than a sorrowful nod. ƒreewebɳovel.com
‘Still, Hyun-Sung’s actually pretty sharp and quick-witted. He just randomly breaks in weird ways sometimes...’ However, none of Kim Hyun-Sung’s good qualities would ever register in Commander Jin’s eyes. ‘He seems to hate him that much.’
On top of that, he was aggressively wiping the spot Kim Hyun-Sung’s hand touched, almost as if he thought something contagious could rub off on him.
Unable to contain his fury, Commander Jin ultimately threw the handkerchief away before turning to shout at the retainers again, but...
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Loud bangs suddenly rang out. I turned toward it and found Old Man Han repeatedly slamming his forehead into the ground like a madman. He was smashing his head hard enough that it genuinely looked like his skull was going to crack open at any moment.
“For my disloyalty—hnghhhh—for failing to understand the Commander’s grief! For daring to speak carelessly toward Mr. Lee Ki-Young! For failing to recognize the Young Master’s noble will! Please punish me with death!”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Please punish me with death!” Old Man Han repeated.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Hnghhhhhh... hnghhhhhh... please punish me with death!”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
‘At this rate, he’s seriously gonna die...’
It wasn’t just Old Man Han. Yongwol was openly sobbing as well. Since she was the one who displayed Jin Young’s belongings throughout the estate, she looked devastated by the realization that those very keepsakes had only been reopening Commander Jin’s wounds this entire time.
“Hnghhhhh! Waaahhh! I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”
It looked like someone had turned on the faucet in Wanggang's eyes. Though honestly, why did it feel like at least half of her crying was an act?
Anyway, their attitude toward me had changed as well.
‘But... I haven’t even explained anything yet...’
Just moments ago, they were glaring at me like they wanted to cut down the sinister snake standing before them, but now, their eyes were filled with loyalty. They looked at me like the unquestioned number two of the Shadow Estate itself.
Not only was there admiration in their gazes, but there was also gratitude to the person who had done what they couldn't do themselves. They felt gratitude to someone who cared and supported the Young Master through everything.
The shift in attitude was so absurdly fast that even I found it bewildering, but honestly, it was the natural reaction. After all, I was supposedly the one who raised and took care of the Jin Family’s Young Master. Saying they felt indebted wouldn’t even begin to cover it.
I was sure that some of them would gladly throw themselves into a pit of fire for my sake. Just minutes ago, they looked at me as if I were some vicious imperial concubine scheming for power, but now, their gaze toward me felt more like they were staring at the true mistress of the estate.
Even Yongwol herself was now looking at me with open admiration. Her eyes practically declared that she intended to devote the rest of her life to serving Commander Jin and me.
Naturally, I slowly nodded and stepped forward. “Enough. That’s enough, Old Man Han.”
I stopped him and swept my gaze across everyone there. Every single person, without exception, was kneeling. All of them were waiting for the next words to leave my mouth.
“...”
“We must...” I trailed off before continuing, “Overcome this grief and move forward."
“...”
“In order to protect...” I trailed off again before saying, “Jin Young’s legacy."
“All you must fight alongside us,” I added.
“...”
“...”
“M-Master!”
Unable to watch this spectacle any longer, Commander Jin retreated into some unknown room at some point and was now throwing around Jin Young’s belongings himself.
