Players: All NPCs in the Sect Are Moles

Chapter 113: Chapter 105: Let’s Prepare a Funeral for Little Junior Sister

(The author won a little money on the lottery today! So I decided to add an extra Chapter! That’s seven Chapters today!)

’Isn’t all the work I do every day enough?’

’What’s wrong with taking a little break?!’

’Can’t I even do that?!’

’I’m furious! Absolutely furious!’

’Being an undercover agent here requires not only superb skill but also nerves of steel. Otherwise, you’ll eventually be driven to an early grave by people like Eldest Senior Brother!’

’Oh, heavens! Oh, earth! Please send a bolt of heavenly lightning to strike this demon dead!’

While she prayed frantically in her heart, she could only force herself to speak in an extremely weak voice:

"Eldest... Eldest Senior Brother, I... I’m not feeling well..."

"I don’t know what’s wrong... I just feel... a tightness in my chest... My Dao Heart... my Dao Heart feels a little unstable, too..."

Lin Qingfeng’s brow furrowed slightly.

’An unstable Dao Heart? She’s got to be faking it!’

’Someone who could climb a hundred steps on the Asking Dao Ladder is telling me her Dao Heart is unstable?’

’I bet you’re just looking for an excuse to slack off!’

Lin Qingfeng couldn’t help but recall his school days and military training. There were always a few classmates who would conveniently get a cold, a fever, or a stomachache right at a critical moment. They’d get the day off, and man, was that the life.

’Little Junior Sister... It seems she’s been infected by the players’ lazy attitude after all.’

’But it’s also possible I just couldn’t find anything wrong.’

"Wait here."

Lin Qingfeng decided to get a few more people to confirm his diagnosis.

A moment later, Su Ling’er’s nightmare began.

The alchemy fanatic Lu Wu, the Body Refining brute Shi Gandang, the planting master Shen Nong, and even "Ji," the professional self-sacrificer...

A crowd of people surrounded Su Ling’er on her "sickbed," staring at each other blankly.

Lin Qingfeng crossed his arms and asked in a deep voice:

"Well? Did any of you find anything wrong?"

Everyone looked at each other, momentarily at a loss for what to do.

"She doesn’t look sick to me."

"How about... I feed her one of my newly refined ’Nine-Turn Human Essence Explosive Elixirs’?"

"I guarantee one pill will be an instant cure. All her problems will vanish!"

"Are you sure Little Junior Sister’s constitution can handle that?"

"She’s only just started the Sword Refining Skill. One Explosive Elixir from you, and I’m afraid she’ll be blown to smithereens!"

Su Ling’er’s heart leaped into her throat as she listened from the bed. She quickly nodded, showing she completely agreed with her Eldest Senior Brother.

’Eldest Senior Brother is right!’

’Whatever you do, don’t feed me that "Explosive Elixir"!’

’I don’t want my soul to be blasted to bits after just one bite!’

"I think she just needs a good hammering!"

"Tie her to the Forging Platform, we’ll each take turns hammering her for half a day. I guarantee she’ll be full of life again in no time!"

"She was completely lifeless after the last hammering. You want to do it again?"

"Let’s wait until she needs to advance her cultivation before we throw her on the Forging Platform again."

’Eldest Senior Brother is right!’ freewēbnoveℓ.com

’I’m already in this state and you still want to hammer me!’

’Are you even human?!’

"Little Junior Sister is so young, yet she’s had this supreme immortal fortune—getting a Cultivation Technique, a magic treasure... Despite her poor aptitude, she’s gotten whatever she’s wanted. Could it be that... her extreme joy has turned to sorrow?"

"Or maybe Little Junior Sister has bugged out?"

"Her happiness stat exceeded the threshold, causing a judgment error. It flipped directly to pessimism, creating this psychological issue!"

"No way," Yan Buliu chimed in. "We have to deal with Little Junior Sister’s psychological problems now? That’s way too much trouble!"

"Totally," Ji nodded in agreement. "So troublesome."

"I wonder who it was that stole Mr. Qian’s socks last time and ruined them? We haven’t even settled the score with you for that, and you have the nerve to call this troublesome? Shut up!"

"You got it, Eldest Senior Brother."

Seeing that they weren’t getting anywhere by talking in person, Lin Qingfeng simply started a group chat in the sect channel.

[Lin Qingfeng]: Speak up, everyone. Is it possible Little Junior Sister is faking sick to slack off?

[Lu Wu]: Possible.

[Shen Nong]: Could also be a game bug. It’s not like we haven’t seen this kind of thing in other games.

[Yan Buliu]: Yeah, yeah! Like in the evil Nine-Stream Sect, where sending a red envelope actually deducted money!!!

[Lu Wu]: Hey, we *were* the Nine-Stream Sect!

[Yan Buliu]: I know, I know! As one of the evil ones, I made a killing from that red envelope bug! Hehe!!

[Lin Qingfeng]: We’re called the Guixi Sect now! This isn’t the last game, we’re not the Nine-Stream Sect anymore! Everyone, pay attention!

[Yan Buliu!]: Ugh, this smart NPC is so much trouble! I really want to complain to customer service.

[Shen Nong]: Complain about what? Little Junior Sister is our sect’s Holy Daughter now. If word got out, wouldn’t we just be making a fool of ourselves? We just need to fix her!

[Ji]: Eldest Senior Brother, I have an idea.

[Ji]: Regardless of whether she’s slacking off or is really sick, to show her how much we care about and value her, let’s... hold a funeral for her!

[(Everyone)]: ???

[Ji]: Besides, funeral services are my specialty!

[Ji]: While she’s on her ’deathbed,’ we’ll let her see with her own eyes how grief-stricken we all are by her ’passing.’ We’ll make her understand just how important she is to our Guixi Sect!

[Ji]: If she’s faking it, the funeral will scare her straight. Let’s see how long she can keep it up!

[Ji]: If she really does have a psychological issue, she’ll get to experience our ’concern’ for her. We’ll use ’great sorrow’ to wash away her ’little sorrow’!

[Ji]: Also, the new sect building—the Yin Spirit Institute—requires a funeral procession and coffin-carrying to enter. Taking Little Junior Sister there for a spin might just fix her, and we can grind some contribution points while we’re at it.

Although she couldn’t hear the specific details, from the glances they kept throwing her way, Su Ling’er knew they had to be plotting something absolutely terrifying!

Just then, one of the demons suddenly broke into a bizarre smile.

He seemed to have made a suggestion that made all the other demons’ eyes light up.

Eldest Senior Brother Lin Qingfeng found that the more he listened, the more sense it made.

’Sigh, everyone is really racking their brains to cure Little Junior Sister and get her full of energy again!’

A sense of dread rose in Su Ling’er’s heart.

’What... what on earth are they planning to do?!’

...

Meanwhile, just as Su Ling’er was being "diagnosed" by the host of demons, Wang Xiedi was moving stealthily along the path through Hundred Herbs Valley that led to the Spirit Beast Garden.

He circulated the Red Dust Scripture Heart Method, infusing his entire body with Spiritual Power as he executed what he believed to be a perfect stealth technique.

Little did he know that all the disciples along the way turned pale with fright when they saw his sneaky figure and recalled his perverted antics.

"Run!"

"They’re coming! They’re coming!"

"It’s Wang Xiedi!"

...

「Qingxu Temple, the forbidden area in the rear mountains.」

The blue smoke in the incense burner had long since dissipated, and a thin layer of dust had settled on the cold copper ashes.

Xuanyuan Daoist stood alone before the stone rack that held the life tablets.

His gaze passed over Su Ling’er’s life tablet and locked onto the one next to it, belonging to "Wang Xiedi."

’Wang Xiedi, you must not disappoint your master...’