Free Web NovelChapter 13: Chapter 13: Holy Crap! Wild Men
But before she could take two steps, she was grabbed by the scruff of her neck.
"Gu Xiao Zhao! Do you really want to end up in the hospital?"
Gu Xulin was mentally exhausted. ’Why does this brat have to be so difficult!’
Ye Zuiyi spoke up again. "That’s... really dangerous. If you provoke them, we’ll all get stung."
"Hmph. All she does is cause trouble." Ye Zexi said, pulling Ye Zuiyi away. "Let’s go. If she wants to act crazy, let her."
"Brother..."
"If you’re going, then hurry up and go! Nobody wants to keep you here, okay!" Gu Zhao was filled with disdain.
"You!"
"If your selfishness prevents them from finding food and gets them stung, don’t you dare come begging us for a bite to eat," Ye Zexi taunted.
Gu Xulin retorted, "And if you two end up starving, don’t you dare have the gall to try and guilt-trip us."
Ye Zexi’s face darkened as he pulled Ye Zuiyi away.
[I’m not going to jump to conclusions, but based on that dog pack and the wolves, I really think there’s something uncanny about Gu Zhao.]
[Are they really betting that a child can control animals? The prize is honey if you win, and a trip to the hospital if you lose?]
[Why are they always targeting the Ye siblings! It feels like Gu Zhao is trying to ostracize them.]
After the Ye siblings left, Gu Xulin looked at Gu Zhao. "Don’t even think about it. If we get stung, it’s a total party wipe."
"Trust me!" Gu Zhao ran over, tilted her head back, and started murmuring to the hive.
A moment later, a few bees actually flew down and landed on Gu Zhao’s finger.
Then, they flew away.
After another short wait, a dense swarm of bees flew out.
They were carrying a massive piece of honeycomb together!
Gu Xulin and the others were dumbfounded, and Zhong Mingrui started jumping for joy!
"I’m the happiest kid in the world!"
Once Zhong Siqi snapped out of it, he quickly found a large leaf and placed it on the ground.
Gu Zhao pointed, and the bees actually placed the honey-filled wax comb right on it.
[I propose Gu Zhao for president of the National Beekeepers Association! It’s a crime to let that talent go to waste!]
[Please teach me!!! I want to learn too!]
Gu Xulin used the dagger he’d swindled and cut off a few small pieces for everyone to satisfy their cravings.
Gu Zhao blissfully chewed on a piece of the honeycomb.
Zhong Mingrui had a look of pure bliss on his face.
"Sister Zhao! From now on, you’re my real sister! You’re way better than my actual brother. All he does is let me go hungry."
"Want some meat?" Gu Zhao asked.
"Yes!" Zhong Mingrui’s eyes shone with adoration.
The next second, five rabbits slammed headfirst into a tree right next to them!
Everyone’s jaws dropped.
After a few seconds of silence, Gu Xulin walked over and picked them up.
Zhong Mingrui looked at Gu Zhao with even greater admiration.
Hiding in the shadows, the Wolf King and his pack watched them accept the rabbits, then left in satisfaction.
Before leaving, the Wolf King shot the beehive a disdainful glance.
’As if honey is tastier than meat!’
’The two-leggers really do like the bunnies I sent them~’
’That sheep last time must have been too big. They probably thought it was too much trouble to carry.’
’From now on, we’ll send smaller things. The pheasants next door taste pretty good.’
The pheasants: "..."
Carrying the honeycomb and five rabbits, the group prepared to head back, their arms full.
They had all left markers on the way, so there was no danger of getting lost. The only hiccup was...
They saw wild men!!
Two of them, at that!!
"Holy crap! There are actual wild men here! Didn’t the production team scout this place properly?!" Zhong Siqi pulled Zhong Mingrui behind him, also shielding the Tang Yuexuan sisters.
Gu Xulin cursed under his breath. ’Is the production team really taking things this far?! Aren’t they afraid we’ll beat them to a pulp if we make it out of here alive?!’
The director, who was happily watching the ratings soar, sneezed twice.
"Two of them, one big and one small. We can probably take them. I’m just not sure if it’s illegal to beat them up," Gu Xulin joked, but his body was already tense.
Tang Yueying stared into the distance at the two mud-caked wild men who were running toward them, flailing their arms and legs.
She had a strange feeling about this.
"Do you think the director hired people to pretend to be them?"
Gu Xulin, holding a dagger in one hand and Gu Zhao in the other, listened and observed more closely. "Could be. It sounds like they’re shouting something... in Chinese."
"Do wild men have to learn Chinese these days?"
Gu Zhao looked over too. "’Run away?’"
"The wild men tell us to run, so we’re supposed to run?! We’re not running! I am the little emperor! This is Our kingdom!"
The next second, the "wild men" got closer, and Gu Xulin’s group saw that something was following them!
A troop of monkeys!
Holy crap!
Gu Zhao turned and bolted.
"Why aren’t you guys running?! Run!" Song Zhe yelled, dragging Song Yi along as they sprinted past, shouting another reminder.
"Holy hell! Did you guys dig up the monkeys’ ancestral graves?!" Gu Xulin cursed before taking off after them.
Everyone else broke into a run too.
The monkeys gave chase, screeching angrily and throwing stones as they ran.
They ran for what felt like an eternity before the monkeys finally gave up.
The group leaned against trees, gasping for breath.
Gu Xulin gasped out, "Wild-man-bros, what the hell did you do?!"
Song Zhe was so exhausted he just collapsed onto the ground, his chest heaving. "I... My name is Song Zhe. I’m not a wild man. This is my little brother, Song Yi. We’re the ’mysterious guests’ the production team... exiled here."
"As for... the monkeys..." Song Zhe paused, awkwardly wiping at the drying mud on his face. "We were looking for food... and we accidentally fell into a mud pit. There just so happened to be a baby monkey in there with us..."
"...and my brother, having a case of itchy fingers, just had to go and touch it. And the baby monkey’s parents just happened to see him do it, assumed we were the ones who threw their kid in the mud pit, and immediately started attacking us..." Song Yi’s voice was filled with resentment.
Song Zhe gave an awkward laugh and scratched his hair.
RUMBLE~
A sound erupted from the brothers’ stomachs, and they both rubbed their bellies in embarrassment.
"So, uh... we got here yesterday... and we haven’t eaten in a whole day..." Song Zhe said, looking mortified. "Do you... have any extra food? We can trade our camera for it... It’s just... we left in such a hurry that the camera’s still back at the mud pit..."
"You found a camera?" Zhong Siqi asked, surprised. He’d heard of Song Zhe before; netizens had affectionately nicknamed him the King of Misfortune.
Song Zhe asked, "We were supposed to find one? The director gave it to us. He just handed us a camera and threw us in here."
Everyone else: ?
"Didn’t they let you pick three items?" Tang Yueying asked, looking curiously at the slightly chubby Song Yi.
Song Yi’s eyes were filled with confusion.
Song Zhe was even more baffled.
Gu Xulin looked at them with pity and cut off two pieces of honeycomb for them to tide them over.
[I can confirm those two aren’t lying. The director really didn’t tell them anything, just straight up exiled them, hahaha. No mission packet, nothing. Pure exile.]
[Those two are tragic, hahaha. But there’s one silver lining: Song Zhe’s stiff neck is miraculously cured.]
[How come Gu Zhao was useless this time? Why was she getting chased by animals too? Didn’t she set up this whole ’animal queen’ persona? Is her image collapsing already?]
Zhong Mingrui noticed this too. He struggled out of Zhong Siqi’s arms and squatted down next to Gu Zhao, who was lying on the ground.
"Sister Zhao, those monkeys are so mean! Why didn’t you summon other animals to fight them?"
Zhong Mingrui was huffing in indignation. Those monkeys were just too mean!
"We have been away for too long. In Our absence from the mountains, the monkeys have crowned themselves kings. Are you willing to follow Us? To raise an army and procure steeds, and join Us in vanquishing these monkey usurpers!" Gu Zhao declared with a grave expression.
Meanwhile, she was complaining nonstop in her head!
’Damn it! There’s no reasoning with those foul-mouthed monkeys!!’
’You have no idea how filthy their language was!’
"Gu Xiao Zhao, stop corrupting the youth of our nation!" Gu Xulin said, hoisting her up and walking off. "First, let’s go see if the camera is still there."
Gu Zhao: ’...’ ’What about Our royal dignity?!’
But then...
’Oh well, at least I don’t have to walk.’
"My King, my King! Your humble subject is willing to follow you and vanquish the monkey usurpers!" Zhong Mingrui immediately shouted as he ran after them.
Song Yi glanced at his excited brother, Song Zhe, then at Gu Zhao and Zhong Mingrui, and finally at everyone else, who all looked completely unfazed.
Song Yi suddenly felt that his future was bleak...
