Free Web NovelWhile Pavela was dazed, Eleanor once again affectionately stroked her hair.
After a long while, Eleanor's expression finally became serious.
"Little Pa."
She said softly.
"About what happened last night..."
"Will you regret it?"
Pavela was stunned for a moment.
She looked at Eleanor.
Looking into those ice-blue eyes.
Looking at that face pretending to be relaxed.
Looking at the slight pursing of her lips.
Then, her brain finally began to function.
It wasn't as if she were truly just a girl of fifteen or sixteen.
Once her mind started working, she could see it.
She could see the nervousness Eleanor hid beneath her composed exterior.
She could see the flicker of unease in those eyes.
She could see what was truly being asked behind that question.
She was afraid.
Afraid that Pavela would regret it.
Afraid that Pavela would push her away.
Afraid that everything last night was just an impulse under the influence of the erosion.
Pavela sighed in her heart.
As for whether she regretted it...
She actually did have some regrets.
But she didn't regret that this had happened with Eleanor.
Rather, she regretted that it had happened at this very moment.
She knew her feelings for Eleanor.
From long ago, these feelings had already surpassed the dependence between sisters and the gratitude of ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) the rescued toward their savior.
It was something deeper, more fervent, and harder to put into words.
She also knew Eleanor's feelings for her.
Although Eleanor had always worried about her, cared for her, and protected her as an older sister.
But the things hidden in those gazes.
That possessiveness that inadvertently leaked out.
Those reactions that bordered on a breakdown whenever she was injured.
None of it could be explained by simple sisterly affection.
But Eleanor was, after all, only a nineteen-year-old girl.
No matter how powerful, how excellent, or how composed she was.
After the special circumstances of last night, she would still feel uneasy.
She would worry that Pavela would ultimately reject her.
She would worry that it was just an impulse under the influence of the erosion.
She would worry if she had been too reckless, too forceful, too...
Pressuring the other person.
And for Pavela, who could understand all of this.
She felt she had been somewhat derelict in her duty.
She had clearly hidden too many things from Eleanor.
Her true identity.
Her past.
The secrets in her head.
The pain she carried.
Every single thing was a unilateral concealment on her part.
Every single thing was her letting Eleanor shoulder worries she shouldn't have had to bear.
Regardless, she really shouldn't let her lover bear such a psychological burden any longer.
She had originally wanted to wait until everything had settled.
After all the conspiracies were exposed.
After the war ended.
After she could be completely honest.
To give Eleanor a complete, perfect beginning.
A first experience without secrets, without burdens, and without haste.
Instead of like this time.
Muddled and confused.
Hasty.
Under the dual influence of the return backlash and the Path of the Lover's erosion.
In a state where Eleanor was bleeding from her seven orifices and nearly broken by pain.
Under circumstances where she herself didn't even know what was happening.
Not to mention.
Eleanor had also taken it upon herself to share her pain.
Using those rings.
Using her own physical health.
Shouldering everything that she alone should have endured.
Pavela sighed in her heart once more.
But it had already happened.
Regret was useless.
Self-reproach was also useless.
What she could do now.
Was to stop Eleanor from continuing to suffer and agonize.
So, she reached out her hand.
And cupped Eleanor's face.
That pale, yet still beautiful face.
Her movements were very light, very gentle.
As if she were touching some precious treasure.
Eleanor's body stiffened slightly.
She did not pull away.
She just looked at Pavela quietly.
Waiting for her answer.
Waiting for the answer that might break her heart.
Pavela looked into her eyes.
In those ice-blue eyes, there were too many complex emotions.
Expectation.
Unease.
Fear.
And something fragile.
This "Blood Rose" who was invincible on the battlefield.
This Imperial Lieutenant Colonel who struck terror into the hearts of her enemies.
This Eleanor von Schwartz who was always composed and always calm.
Now, before her.
She was like a child afraid of being abandoned.
Pavela's heart twitched as well.
Then, she spoke.
"I don't regret it."
Her voice wasn't loud, but it was firm.
Eleanor's eyes lit up for an instant.
But then they dimmed again.
As if she didn't dare believe it.
Or as if she were waiting for a "but."
"I don't regret it."
Pavela repeated it once more.
This time, her voice was a bit louder and even firmer.
"I'll say it again, Eleanor von Schwartz, I don't regret it."
"I don't regret being with you."
"But..."
Eleanor spoke.
Her voice was a bit raspy.
"Last night was because of the erosion... if it weren't for the erosion, you might not have..."
"The erosion only gave me courage."
Pavela interrupted her.
"I told you."
"The erosion only made me dare to do the things I've always wanted to do but didn't dare to."
"But those feelings, those..."
Her face flushed.
"Those things, they were all what I wanted myself."
Eleanor looked at her.
The light in her eyes was slowly brightening.
But she still wasn't completely at ease.
"Really?"
she asked.
A hint of uncertainty in her voice.
"You're not just comforting me?"
Pavela sighed again.
Why was this person so lacking in self-belief?
She was so confident in everything else.
Yet in this matter, she was so...
So insecure.
"Eleanor."
She said seriously.
"Listen to me."
She took a deep breath.
Organizing her words.
"I do have some regrets."
she said.
Eleanor's body froze.
Her face instantly turned pale.
Even paler than before.
"But not regret about being with you,"
Pavela quickly added.
"What I regret is..."
"That it happened at this time."
Eleanor was stunned.
"What do you mean?"
Pavela's fingers lightly brushed over Eleanor's cheek.
Sliding along her jawline to her chin.
And stopping there.
"I originally wanted..."
Her voice was very soft.
"To wait until everything was over."
"Until I could face you with complete honesty."
"And then..."
Her face flushed again.
"Then start all of this."
Eleanor blinked.
She didn't seem to fully understand her meaning yet.
"I wanted to give you a perfect beginning."
Pavela continued.
"Not during the return backlash."
"Not during the Path of the Lover's erosion."
"Not when you were bleeding from your seven orifices and nearly broken by pain."
"Not in such a hasty, such a chaotic, such a..."
She paused.
"Such a muddled situation."
She looked into Eleanor's eyes.
"You deserve better."
"You deserve a first experience without secrets, without burdens, and without haste."
"Instead of..."
She gave a bitter smile.
"Instead of like last night."
Eleanor looked at her.
The emotions in her eyes were constantly shifting.
From unease to surprise.
From surprise to being moved. fгeewёbnoѵel.cσm
From being moved to...
Something deeper and more fervent.
"So..."
Eleanor's voice trembled slightly.
"You don't regret being with me?"
"But regret not giving me a better beginning?"
Pavela nodded.
"Yes."
Eleanor looked at her.
She suddenly laughed.
The smile started from the corners of her mouth.
Slowly spreading to her eyes.
Spreading across her entire face.
Like ice melting and spring flowers blooming.
"You silly girl."
she said.
Her voice carried a hint of laughter.
And something moist.
"You big silly." freёwebnovel.com
She reached out.
And pulled Pavela into her arms.
Holding her tightly.
Her chin rested on top of Pavela's head.
"What perfect beginning."
Her voice was muffled.
"What 'no secrets, no burdens'."
"I don't care about those things."
Her arms tightened a bit.
"I only care about you."
"I only care if you're sincere."
"I only care if you'll regret being with me."
"The rest..."
She sighed softly.
"None of the rest matters."
Pavela's eyes felt a bit sore.
She buried her face in the crook of Eleanor's neck.
Taking a deep breath.
The scent of roses mixed with something that belonged to Eleanor.
Letting her heart slowly settle.
"And besides."
Eleanor's voice rang out again.
This time with a hint of teasing.
"Last night wasn't as bad as you said."
"Although the beginning was indeed a bit... chaotic."
"But wasn't it quite good later on?"
Pavela's face flushed again.
She wanted to retort.
But didn't know what to say.
"Especially when you counter-attacked."
Eleanor continued.
The laughter in her voice grew thicker.
"I didn't expect you to be so..."
"Enough!"
Pavela's voice came from her embrace.
Muffled.
Carrying a hint of embarrassed anger.
"Don't say it out loud!"
Eleanor burst out laughing.
The laughter was crisp and joyful.
Echoing in the quiet room.
"Alright, alright, I won't say it."
she said.
Her fingers slid into Pavela's hair.
Gently stroking it.
"I won't say it."
The two of them just held each other like that.
Sunlight shone through the gaps in the curtains.
Casting mottled patterns of light and shadow on them.
The scent of last night still lingered in the air.
Ambiguous.
Warm.
Neither moved.
Neither spoke.
Just quietly enjoying this moment of tranquility.
There were still many things waiting for them in the outside world.
Conspiracies, dangers, war, politics.
But for now.
Nothing mattered at this moment.
Only each other.
Only this moment.
