Free Web Novel"Master, do you know?"
"You really are a talking steel plate right now."
The Gatekeeper's voice echoed across the Grey Wasteland.
It carried a sense of heartfelt, almost admiring sentiment.
And a hint of helplessness.
Pavela sat crouched on a rock.
Her arms were wrapped around her knees.
Her face was quite pale.
Fine beads of sweat permeated her forehead.
But her eyes were still very clear.
At this moment, she was staring intently straight ahead.
The Gatekeeper floated beside her.
That void existence, constantly disintegrating and reorganizing.
At this moment, He looked exceptionally well-behaved.
Like a pet forced to accompany its master in watching television.
His gaze was also directed forward.
A translucent image was suspended there.
The scenes in the image were playing at an extremely slow speed.
So slow that the transition between every frame was clearly visible.
So slow that one could see every drift of steam particles in the air.
That was the Pavela in reality.
She was lying in the mech's pilot seat.
Her face was pale.
Fine beads of sweat permeated her forehead.
But her expression was very calm.
She even wore a slightly weary smile.
"Thanks for the compliment."
She said.
"I think I'm pretty tough too."
The Gatekeeper fell silent for a moment.
His void form, constantly disintegrating and reorganizing, vibrated slightly.
"Do you know?"
He said.
"I have lived for a very, very long time."
"I have seen countless Wayfarers."
"Seen those struggling within the erosion."
"Seen those breaking down in agony."
"Seen those driven mad by despair."
He paused.
"But I have never seen—"
"Never seen someone who, during this level of return backlash..."
"Could still fucking find the presence of mind to control the time flow of the Mental Space, and even micro-manage their own facial muscles?!"
The corner of Pavela's mouth twitched.
"Don't use foul language."
"You're the Gatekeeper; you should have some dignity."
"Dignity, my ass."
The Gatekeeper said.
"Right now, I only want to know how on earth you did it."
"Your nervous system is being crushed by Return Power."
"Your consciousness is being torn apart by the erosion of the Path of the Tower."
"Your spirit is undergoing a process equivalent to being put into a meat grinder and slowly crushed."
"And you—"
His voice rose a bit.
"You can actually precisely control the contraction of your orbicularis oculi muscles?!"
"And you're still adjusting the upward angle of your lips?!"
Pavela did not answer.
She just continued to stare at the image.
In the image.
Eleanor was standing at the edge of the cockpit.
Her ice-blue eyes were filled with worry.
"Little Pa..."
Eleanor's voice came through.
"Are you really okay?"
"Do you want me to call the medical team over?"
The Pavela in the image smiled.
"No need."
She said.
Her voice sounded a bit tired.
But it was very natural.
"Just a little exhausted."
"Tonight's exertion was quite heavy."
"Just let me rest for a while."
Eleanor frowned.
"But your face..."
"Sister."
Pavela interrupted her. freewёbn૦νeɭ.com
"I'm really fine."
"Look."
She raised her hand.
She waved it in front of Eleanor.
"My hand isn't even shaking."
Eleanor stared at that hand.
She watched it for a long time.
She sighed.
"...Alright."
"But if you feel uncomfortable, you must tell me."
"Mm."
Pavela nodded.
"I promise."
Eleanor looked at her for a while longer.
Ultimately, she turned and left.
She went to arrange the evacuation of the others.
The Pavela in the image maintained that smile.
Until Eleanor's figure disappeared from her field of vision.
And then—
Her smile abruptly froze.
Her entire body slumped into the seat as if her bones had been removed.
But she still did not make a sound.
Only the sweat on her forehead became increasingly dense.
Her fingers were trembling slightly.
Her teeth were clenched tight.
The system's claim was indeed completely correct.
The level of pain from this return backlash was truly extraordinary.
That feeling—
It was as if someone had pulled out her nervous system.
Placed it on an anvil.
And then smashed it, nerve by nerve, with a hammer.
Every single nerve was screaming.
Every single cell was burning.
At the same time, she could clearly feel something taking root in her spirit.
Entwining like vines.
Writhing like insects.
The erosion of the Path of the Tower.
It was blooming in her brain.
Crimson light flickered at the edges of her vision.
She could see illusions.
Seeing countless buildings collapse before her eyes.
Seeing the earth crack open.
Seeing the sky burn.
Seeing destruction play out in her mind in ten thousand different forms.
She heard whispers.
Countless voices echoed in her ears.
Some were speaking in languages she didn't understand.
Some were repeating words like "destruction," "collapse," and "the end."
And some—
And some sounded like her own voice.
Asking her:
"Why not destroy everything?"
"Why not let the world collapse?"
"Why not embrace the end?"
She wanted to scream.
Wanted to roll on the floor.
Wanted to bash her head against a wall.
Wanted to do anything that could make this pain stop.
But she couldn't.
Because Eleanor was in front of her.
Pavela had originally intended to strictly follow the system's suggestions to execute the plan.
But when she saw Eleanor appear, she suddenly realized that the system's arrangement actually had a very major flaw.
Eleanor could indeed arrange for supervision by professional doctors, with sedatives, nerve blockers, and mental stabilization devices.
But this also meant that Eleanor herself would definitely be on-site.
And then she would see the miserable state of her agony.
And then she would worry, and feel self-reproach.
And then she would feel that it was her fault for failing to protect her.
Pavela did not want that.
Eleanor had already worried for her too many times.
But these things were never her fault.
So, Pavela made a decision.
She would use the opportunity where this return backlash blasted part of her consciousness into the Mental Space, and then utilize the time flow difference between the Mental Space and reality to forcibly control her own body, making her sister Eleanor believe she was fine.
At the very least, she had to endure until she was somewhere Eleanor couldn't see, before screaming and rolling around.
...
Inside the Mental Space.
Pavela took a deep breath.
"Whew—"
"I'm exhausted."
She said.
"I adjusted that smile just now seventeen times."
"If the angle was wrong, it would look very fake."
"If it was too natural, it wouldn't show that I'm tired enough."
"It had to be that kind of..."
She thought for a moment.
"It had to be that feeling of 'I'm indeed very tired but I can still hold on'."
The Gatekeeper didn't even know how to respond to that.
"...Why bother?"
He said.
"If you had just screamed and rolled around like that, this sister of yours would have felt even more heartache for you."
"She probably would have cared for you very gently, holding you and asking how you feel now."
"Isn't that good?"
"No."
Pavela shook ◆ Nоvеlіgһt ◆ (Only on Nоvеlіgһt) her head vigorously.
"I want her to be happy, I want her to be proud of me."
"I definitely don't want her to feel self-reproach because of me."
The Gatekeeper fell silent again.
His void form contracted slightly.
As if he were contemplating something.
"Do you know?"
He finally said.
"I originally intended to take this opportunity to tempt you."
"While your erosion was rising, while your consciousness was fragile, while your sanity was being eaten away by pain."
"I originally intended to tell you—"
"Embrace destruction."
"Let the power of the Path of the Tower flow through you."
"Let it bloom in reality."
"That way, you wouldn't feel pain anymore."
He paused for a moment.
"But seeing you like this..."
"I can't fucking say it out loud."
Pavela was stunned for a moment.
"...And why is that?"
"Too tough."
The Gatekeeper said.
"So tough that I feel if I were to tempt you now..."
"You'd probably just pin me to the ground and beat me."
"And while beating me, you'd yell, 'Do you think I'm the kind of person who'd be broken by pain?!'"
The corner of Pavela's mouth twitched again.
"...I wouldn't be that rude."
"You would."
The Gatekeeper said very certainly.
"You absolutely would."
"And you'd hit very hard."
"Just like last time, smashing my physical form apart, into pieces."
