Free Web Novel“Is that all you have to say for yourself, Jing?” Daenelis said as she dunked the Dungeon Fairy in her teacup, thumb and forefinger gripping the tiny man’s heel with her pinkie extended. She lifted him from the brew to let him catch his breath.
Jing spluttered and coughed but kept his arms crossed. “I’ve already told you everything! All they took was a handful of Second Tier Cores. What does it matter? Besides, we both know you need me to manage the Dungeon. Go ahead and do your worst, Princess. It can’t be worse than drowning in mediocre tea.” He swished his mouth and spat. “What is this, Silverleaf?”
“Silverleaf?” Daenelis snarled, setting Jing aside and taking a dainty sip of her tea. “Pfff!!!” The princess sprayed her mouthful in violent protest, threw her cup on the ground where it shattered into a thousand pieces, and screamed, “Tea Slave, since when have we been out of Goldleaf tea? Also, make me another. Milk Slave, do your job right this time, and you better not be going sour on me or else I’ll feed you to the Slimes!”
“Begging your pardon, your Highness,” a handsome, human male in dapper attire apologized. He cringed as he continued, "But I did tell you we ran out of Goldleaf tea yesterday afternoon. Umm, y-your Highness."
Daenelis scowled at the man and pointed at the ground. "Knees."
"T-thank you, your H-Highness," the young man said as he got down on his hands and knees while quivering with fear.
“Shut up. Furniture doesn’t talk.” The Princess proceeded to jab his back with her bejeweled high heels as she crossed her legs and reclined. "Milk Slave, you're now Tea Slave. Don't fuck it up."
"Yes, your Highness," the woman in a black dress with a cutout at the chest for her motherly breasts said as she scurried off to prepare the replacement teacup.
"Piss Slave, attend me."
A heart-stoppingly beautiful woman in an exquisite, but impractical dress woven from threads of real gold knelt before the princess, plump lips trembling, and opened her luscious mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut as if trying to block out reality.
Daenelis grabbed the girl's chin and tilted the slave's head left and right before pronouncing, "Hmph, a wrinkle. You're my new Milk Slave, now."
"Y-y-yes, your Highness!" The young woman in the golden dress sagged with relief, stood, bowed, and dashed off while stripping out of her heavy outfit with all haste. She left the unwanted garment pooled on the floor in an unkempt heap.
"Lanyth~" Daenelis called next, and the Elvish Ranger stepped forward with understandable trepidation. "I heard you were sniffing F-Grade Powder in the Library, and that's where you found the intruders. Is that correct?"
"N-n-no, I mean, y-yes, your Highness."
Daenelis smiled a Cheshire grin, her perfect teeth shining white in the sterile light of the Ell Ee Dees above, "That's good, Lanyth. Trash like that low-grade powder should be burned, so you may as well enjoy yourself." The poor Ranger brightened. Then the princess gave an exaggerated frown. "But you did let them get away. That's bad, Lanyth." The Ranger grew pale as a ghost. "Find me a new Piss Slave, one with nice, soft lips the way I like and no wrinkles... Or else you'll be given the honor for the next month. Keep in mind I'm having a side of asparagus for dinner."
Lanyth practically gagged as he fled, "R-r-right away, your Highness."
Just then, the new Tea Slave walked up with a fresh cup of Silverleaf tea. The woman grabbed her breast and was about to squeeze some milk into the cup when Jing cleared his throat. Looking up, the Tea Slave saw Jing subtly shake his head as he hovered nearby. She hesitated just long enough for the new Milk Slave to return in an appropriate outfit.
Seeing this, the Tea Slave held out the teacup for the Milk Slave to sweeten with three drops of cream straight from the tap. Both sighed in relief as Daenelis took the proffered beverage and sipped at it without spitting or throwing the cup. They didn't relax their posture, though, so as not to attract the bratty royal's ire.
"Would your Highness care to sample her entry into the coming Auction?" Brysandoral asked, filling the silence as he offered up a large Core resting on a luxurious satin cushion. "It's a rare Two-Color Third Tier Core."
Sighing, Daenelis sat her cup on a set of flat abs serving as her tea tray and said, "I suppose I should see for myself what drivel we plan on peddling this year."
"At once, your Highness." Brysandoral proceeded to wedge a glass bowl in the ass-crack of a pair of buttocks reserved for the purpose, making their owner shiver at the cold intrusion. Then he placed the pale blue core in the bowl and brandished a Mithril Fairy hammer.
One swift blow sent a spiderweb of cracks through the sphere's surface, which erupted with sparks along the fault lines. A second later, the core disintegrated into shards that filled the bottom of the bowl while sending up a puff of arctic air. Brysandoral then went to work with a pestle, breaking apart the large chunks before stirring the mixture into a fine powder that merely radiated dim light while appearing stable otherwise. Using a miniature Mithril spoon, he scooped out a measured portion.
Daenelis snapped her fingers. "Powder Slave."
A woman wearing a silver dress with a boob window cutout to display her perky tits stepped forward and knelt before the Princess with practiced poise, her back ramrod straight. Daenelis then plucked a Mithril straw sculpted to resemble a headless Venus from the Slave's cleavage while Brysandoral withdrew a gleaming blade similarly kept warm in the cleft of the woman's buttocks.
The Elvish Ranger poured a teaspoon of powder onto the Slave's breasts, which were supported by undercarriage into a balcony for this purpose. He then shaped the powder into a thin line using the warm blade, hand steady with Elvish Grace, careful not to so much as nick the Slave's skin and thereby befoul the precious substance with her blood.
Thusly, with the powder and instruments gently heated as close to body temperature as possible, Daenelis deigned to place the straw in her nose and lower her head. With movements as swift as an extinct raptorial bird and as nimble as a Catgirl, the Princess snorted the line of powder without hitch or hesitation.
"Snnnnnnnnnifff."
A ripple of shivers ran through Daenelis's body, followed by a series of crackling shocks along her lithe frame, and then a thin rime appeared around the nubile woman that lingered on her clothes. Potent energy emanated from her body along with a luminous aura that made her wavy white-blonde hair look metallic. Sparks and snowflakes danced in her eyes as she pronounced, "C-Minus grade." The Princess sat there, face a mask, stewing for seconds while everyone held their breath until she finally exploded, "FUCKING C-MINUS GRADE!!! I'm a laughingstock!"
Daenelis threw down her Mithril straw, kicked the bowl full of powder onto the ground, knocked over her teacup to shatter it on the floor, and thrashed about in her seat like a toddler in a tantrum. Her new footstool took the abuse in stride. The chair had long since grown accustomed to the treatment. "Fucking mid-grade Dungeon, fucking dropout Ranger platoon, fucking Silverleaf fucking TEA!!!"
The Princess slumped into her seat and pounded the armrest in her frustration. The armrest grunted in pain, but Daenelis was too disgruntled to properly punish the indiscretion. She nestled her head between her backrest's bodacious breasts and wallowed in her misery for a minute.
When the minute had passed, and everyone was still too nervous to move, Jing landed on the armrest's pert ass, sat down, and patted the back of Daenelis limp hand with patronizing strokes. "There, there, Princess. Buck up.”
Daenelis rolled her head to look at Jing over the pink nipple between them and said, "I'd crush your body like a grape if I thought it would motivate the rest of you."
Jing just shrugged. "You may as well trim my nails or shave my head for all the pain that would cause me." This single member of the larger Dungeon Fairy Swarm collective walked up the Princess’s arm, hopped onto her backrest’s breasts, and sat on the firm nipple as his perch. “Besides, we both know it's not your fault or mine, it's the Throne's demand for mid-grade powder that's doing this. No matter how optimized I have it, a Dungeon of this size can't meet the D-grade quota and produce a C+ core for Auction. Be realistic, it's one or the other.”
The Princess moaned with displeasure but didn’t continue her hysterics. Instead, she said, “Brysandoral, clean up this mess. Tea Slave, another cup of fucking Silverleaf tea. Seriously, how many ‘arms’ and ‘legs’ are the Golden Grove Dryads charging these days? God Beast damn it.” ƒree𝑤ebnσvel.com
With that, the human slaves and Elvish Rangers relaxed by a hair and busied about their work.
The little Fairy man swung his legs idly. “I'll admit that the Two-Color Core idea was clever, but... come on. That's basically just Hybridization, a dead-end. It lacks the spark of ambition! You can call it ‘rare’ all you want, but that’s just marketing hype. Honestly, Princess, you'll be lucky if the novelty propels your offering through a single round of bidding at the Goblin King’s Auction."
Daenelis’s face crumpled as she cried out, “I’m going to be demoooteeed!!!” Creating a Bubble Shield around himself as an umbrella to block the spoiled Princess’s rain of tears, Jing simply sat there waiting for her to calm down. With the first two stages of grief out of the way, Daenelis began to bargain, “Jing, please, give me something! Those weren’t the normal Core thieves we see in this Region; your daughter—”
“—Don’t you dare touch her, or else I’ll kill myself, and you can manage the Dungeon on your own!”
“I’m saying I don’t care about your crazy daughter, Jing!” Daenelis argued, “She can have her boy-toy and a few Second Tier Cores, it’s fine.” Her tone said it wasn’t ‘fine,’ but Jing didn’t challenge the turn of phrase. “All I’ve ever cared about is the Royal Ranking!”
“I’m sure,” Jing scoffed and rolled his eyes when she wasn’t looking. “No, Princess, there’s nothing I can say that would help you and your precious social status.”
“Ugh!” Daenelis threw up her arms in frustration. “Brysandoral, you were there, you must’ve noticed something interesting about the thieves?”
The Elvish Ranger paused in his efforts to mop up the spilled tea before it contaminated the precious powder to respond, “Well, your Highness, there was a Rainbird. Those are rare to see this far north. There was a Snow Bunny, too, which is weird to find this far south. Hmm, and they had several talking Slimes with them as well.”
“What types?” Daenelis questioned him, then turned to Jing, “Do intelligent Slimes give higher-grade Cores?”
Jing responded immediately, “No, your Highness. Intelligence is just information. It doesn’t affect the quality of the powder.”
The Princess frowned. “Hmph. I suspect you are correct. Those pumped-up pricks in the Top Ten would’ve thought of that by now.”
“Your Highness,” Brysandoral continued, “There was a Large Strawberry Moon Jellyfish Slime and a Red Fuzzy Swarm Slime.”
“Those are all common types, except 'Strawberry' and 'Moon,' but those are nothing that special either.” She pouted in her seat. “Hmph. Low to middling C grade under the best circumstances.”
“As I said, Princess, nothing that could help you,” Jing reassured.
“That third Slime, though,” Brysandoral began, making the Fairy suddenly go tense, “Was probably an Ooze.” Jing immediately sagged with relief. “But might not have been, I’m not sure.” Jing’s spine went rigid once again. “Stone Form and Green Color, definitely. It had a third Attribute, a strange Modifier, I’m positive, but one I’ve never seen before.”
“Oh?” Daenelis’s long, ethereal eyelashes fluttered with interest as she took her third cup of tea in five minutes. She noisily slurped up a tiny amount. “Do tell.”
Jing started to sweat.
“Yes, your Highness. It took the form of a handsome man, the ‘boy-toy,’” Brysandoral recalled, blushing at the memory, and cleared his throat. “But it ate the Rainbird in the midst of the fight and… changed.”
Daenelis’s immaculately sculpted eyebrows practically flew into her platinum blonde hairline. “You mean, it didn’t simply digest the bird?”
“No, your Highness. It grew wings and, I swear, it gained the Wind and Water Attributes as well. It had all the Rainbird’s abilities!”
The Elven Princess dropped her tea in utter shock. Her Slaves and Brysandoral scrambled to clean up the new mess and preserve the pile of powder on the floor from the growing puddle of spilled tea. A covetous smile crept across her face as she spoke her thoughts aloud, “A never-before-seen type of Slime that can assimilate other monsters! If I learned its secret, I could be the sole proprietor of an exclusive Rare Slime type! I wouldn’t just have C+ grade powder, I could take the Auction by storm! The Throne would have to take me back to the Capital! I’ll be ~Promoted~!”
“Fuck,” Jing cursed under his breath.
“Brysandoral! Quit fussing with that shitty powder and assemble the Platoon. Jing, prepare a few of your bodies to join us, and I promise your daughter will remain unharmed… Along with her boy-toy, if you insist. I just want to talk to him.”
The Elvish Ranger saluted. “Orders, your Highness?”
“Oh, I’ll be leading from the front—” Daenelis began as she summoned to hand her Mithril Rapier, its ornately designed, diamond-encrusted basket hilt glinting beneath the Ell Ee Dees. A dangerous aura seemed to leap from the blade with every twitch of her wrist. “—If my name isn’t Princess Daenelis Ilinorin, Seventeenth in line to the Mithril Throne!” Standing from her chair of naked human Slaves, her footrest scrambling aside on all fours through the tea puddle, she cast her eyes about the elaborately decorated former jewelry store and said, “Also, Lanyth just ran out of time. I’ll need my Piss Slave at my side to attend me as needed if we’re going to catch this Rare Slime before the Auction.”
