MATED TO THE MOON ALPHAS

Chapter 35: NEITHER OF US

ELARA

That’s when I saw it...

The faint red lines dragging across the whites of his eyes. They weren’t just tired, they looked like raw pain mixed with something purely darker. Staring into them felt dangerously intimate, like they were pulling me in against my will. I tried to look away, but Jeremy was faster. His fingers tightened gently but firmly around my chin, forcing my gaze back to his.

"We can’t..." I faltered, my voice barely above a whisper. "We can’t do this here."

His expression hardened, eyes narrowing. "This?" he repeated, like he wanted me to spell it out. Like he wanted to hear me admit what was still crackling in the air between us.

Just before he could pull me closer, a guard walked past us down the hall.

I immediately stepped back, rubbing my arms as if that could somehow erase the guilt crawling all over my skin. The memory of Hardin’s hands on me earlier tonight burned hotter than ever. I had almost given myself to him completely and now here I was, letting Jeremy touch me like this. Like I hadn’t betrayed everything.

I didn’t wait to see Jeremy’s reaction. I turned and hurried down the hall, heart pounding violently in my chest.

A second later, I heard the heavy sound of his boots behind me.

Unlike me, he wasn’t rushing. His footsteps were steady, unhurried, almost like he already knew he didn’t need to chase me to catch up.

When I reached the next corridor, I slowed down, suddenly confused. Because I need to know where I was heafing to be actually lost, but I had no idea which way to go. I didn’t know which hallways led where, which doors were off-limits, or where I wasn’t supposed to wander. This was the damn palace, not exactly a place where you could open random doors and hope for the best.

"Come with me." His voice came from right behind me. Soft. Almost flat. Like he was trying very hard not to let anything else slip through.

"Where?" I demanded, still pressing my back against the wall like it could somehow shield me.

Jeremy exhaled heavily, looking more frustrated. "You’re acting like a kid right now. Unless you want someone else walking in on us like this, it’s better you come with me."

I folded my arms tightly across my chest. "That’s funny, considering you’re allowed to walk around here however you please."

His jaw tightened. "So you want us to talk about it out here? Seriously, El?"

"Don’t call me that, Jere." The words flew out sharper than I intended. "It makes it hard to think the way I’m supposed to."

The moment they left my mouth, I regretted them.

Honestly, I didn’t even know what I wanted from Jeremy anymore. Every part of me still felt drawn to him, the safety, the familiarity, the way he used to look at me like I was normal. But nothing was simple now. I hadn’t accepted Aaron or Hardin as my mates... yet here I was, torn in different directions, my heart pulling toward all three of them in ways that terrified me.

And why the hell was I still thinking about Hardin? About his hands on my skin, his mouth on mine, the way he had looked at me like he was starving?

Stop it, Elara. Focus.

"Fine," I said at last, my voice quieter. "Something did happen between us." I finally admitted it.

But that was as far as I got. Before I could say anything else, Jeremy grabbed my wrist and started pulling me down the hall.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Language," he said dryly, not slowing down for even a second. And he kept dragging me along.

The minute we reached a door, Jeremy pulled out a key, shoved it into the lock, and pushed the door open with more force than necessary, like the wood had personally offended him.

The first thing that hit me was the faint, sweet scent of lilies.

Slowly, I started thinking, maybe I actually needed this talk. Maybe I’d finally get answers about whatever secret my father claimed Jeremy had been hiding from me all these years.

He shut the door behind us with a heavy click and finally turned to face me.

I expected him to pick up where we left off in the hallway, but instead, he walked right past me without a word.

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Ignoring the fact that I was standing there like a statue the Moon Goddess had forgotten to finish sculpting.

My eyes followed him automatically as he crossed the room toward a large desk. One glance around told me this was definitely his office. The framed certificates on the walls, neat stacks of paperwork, the faint scent of ink and polished wood. It was so him. I’d never been inside the Beta’s office before. Not even when I was younger and followed Jeremy around like his eager little shadow.

It had always been forbidden. At least, that’s what Jeremy always told me.

So, standing here now, today of all days, after everything that had happened with us, felt less like a dream and more like a cruel joke.

Eventually, he moved back toward me holding a steaming mug. "Take it," he said quietly, holding it out. "You’ll feel warmer."

I blinked at him.

"Your lips are blue."

His gaze dropped to my mouth for a brief second before lifting back to my eyes. That small look sent my heart slamming against my ribs.

I took the mug with slightly shaky hands, the warmth seeping into my cold fingers. Fresh guilt from earlier twisted tighter in my chest. Here was Jeremy worried about me, bringing me something warm, looking at me like I still mattered while I was about to tell him the one thing I knew would probably shatter whatever we had left.

I hated how much I still wanted his concern, though. I hated even more that I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

Just as I brought the cup to my lips, I remembered it was still scalding hot. Damn too late. It burned my lips.

"Ah!" I yelped, jerking it away from my mouth.

Coffee splashed across my hand. "Shit!"

"El!" Jeremy was at my side instantly, reaching for the mug before it could slip from my fingers. But that only made it worse. The cup tilted again, spilling more hot liquid down the front of his shirt.

"Oh my God."

My stomach dropped.

Without thinking, I started frantically patting at his chest, trying to wipe away the mess. "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry..."

The dark fabric was already soaked through. I glanced around desperately for a towel, for anything, completely forgetting that my own hand was still stinging from the burn.

I didn’t get far.

Jeremy caught my wrist gently but firmly. The next second, I was pulled lightly against his chest. Not forcefully, just close enough to feel the steady warmth of his body, the faint scent that used to feel like home.

For a moment, neither of us moved. The room suddenly felt smaller. Too quiet. My pulse stumbled wildly in my chest as I slowly lifted my gaze to his.

And right then, I knew something had shifted between us.

Something deeper. Something heavier. Something neither of us could keep pretending wasn’t there anymore.