Free Web NovelChapter 1641: I’m not the only fish in the vast ocean.
"I... I’m sorry"
Those words pierced straight through Penelope’s heart. For a moment, her chest tightened so painfully she thought she might stop breathing, yet beneath that ache... something warm quietly spread through her body.
Relief.
A strange, cruel, beautiful relief~
Her trembling fingers slowly curled around the spoon resting beside her plate while a faint smile touched her lips. She knew her heart hurt. She knew she should not have felt happy hearing rejection from the man sitting in front of her.
Yet she smiled anyway.
Because he was no longer looking at her with that unbearable kindness. He was not accepting her feelings out of pity, guilt, or sympathy.
He answered her honestly.
He never looked at her that way...
Those words still echoed softly inside her head, calm and direct, exactly the kind of answer she expected from him.
"T-Thank you... Mr. Lackey."
Her voice came out quieter than usual, almost fragile. She lowered her gaze toward the table, hiding the faint moisture gathering near her eyes while the dim restaurant lights reflected softly across the untouched glass beside her.
Honestly... if he had lied to her, even for a moment... if he had smiled gently and accepted her feelings out of kindness alone... she knew she would have collapsed into his arms without hesitation.
She would have clung to him like a starving person finally finding warmth after wandering through endless cold nights.
For the past few days, that warmth had been all she wanted.
But she also knew something else.
Her heart would have broken far worse if he had lied.
Because then her feelings would have become nothing more than something to comfort, something to soothe temporarily before throwing aside.
Just another pitiful emotion attached to a woman who meant nothing to him.
So when he answered honestly... when those words came directly from the bottom of his heart without hesitation or false gentleness... Penelope understood something.
He respected her love enough not to insult it with lies. freēwebnovel.com
Not her body.
Not her background.
Not the sadness wrapped around her life.
Just her feelings... Her love!
And somehow... that honesty made her chest ache even more beautifully.
Now she understood clearly.
She had not fallen for his kindness alone.
No... her heart had quietly fallen for the man himself.
For the way he spoke honestly, even when it hurt.
For the way he never tried to manipulate emotions.
For the calm steadiness in his eyes that always made her feel strangely safe despite the distance between them.
A faint shiver passed through her lips as she bit down gently, trying to stop them from trembling.
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...
..
Lackey ignored the barging notifications flashing endlessly before his vision. The black translucent screens reflected faintly across his eyes before disappearing one after another.
His attention remained fixed only on her.
"We should finish eating before the food gets cold."
His tone sounded calm and ordinary, almost as if nothing important had happened between them just now.
Penelope quietly snapped out of her thoughts and gave a small nod. A painful smile still lingered on her lips while she lifted the spoon again and continued eating in silence.
The soft clinking of silverware against porcelain briefly filled the space between them.
She did not ask questions.
Did not force another conversation.
Did not beg.
Because she already knew her worth.
And sometimes... knowing that truth hurt more than rejection itself.
Meanwhile, Lackey continued eating as if everything had returned to normal, though his movements felt slightly slower than before. His fingers paused occasionally around the glass in his hand, and despite himself, his eyes unconsciously drifted toward her again.
And for the first time...
For the very first fucking time...
He truly saw her.
Not as someone he could manipulate.
Not as another person, he could seduce without a thought.
Not as background noise.
He saw a woman.
A woman around thirty with an elegant, mature face carrying traces of exhaustion hidden beneath quiet composure.
Soft shoulder-length dark brown hair framed her cheeks in slightly uneven layers, faint chestnut highlights appearing beneath the warm restaurant lights whenever she tilted her head. A few loose strands slipped near her face while she ate, creating subtle disorder against an otherwise refined appearance.
Her eyelashes trembled occasionally whenever she blinked too slowly, as though she was forcing herself not to let emotions spill out again.
Even the way she held the spoon looked restrained... careful... almost practised.
Like someone used to hiding pain gracefully.
She wore fitted black office suits almost every day, tailored carefully to emphasise professionalism rather than beauty. Crisp collars rested neatly around her neck, dark blouses tucked perfectly beneath smooth pencil skirts, polished heels clicking softly against office floors wherever she walked.
Nothing about her appearance was extravagant.
No expensive jewellery.
No overwhelming perfume.
No desperate attempt to stand out.
And yet... somehow the simplicity suited her far better than luxury ever could.
She looked like someone built entirely from silence, responsibility, and exhaustion.
She was not breathtaking in the way his wives were.
Not the kind of woman whose beauty silenced conversations the moment she entered a room.
No dazzling charm meant to pull every gaze toward her instantly.
Honestly... she could probably walk through thousands of people, and even he would fail to notice her among the crowd. She had the kind of face that disappeared naturally inside a sea of strangers.
Ordinary.
Forgettable.
And yet...
For the first time, Lackey found himself unable to look away from her.
His eyes quietly traced every subtle movement she made.
The small way her fingers adjusted the spoon.
The faint tension around her lips whenever she swallowed.
The way her shoulders straightened instinctively whenever emotions threatened to leak out.
Beauty?
Where?
Honestly, Lackey was never the type to judge people purely by appearance, but if he thought about it logically... rationally... he would probably place her below average.
Even the new receptionist at the company was objectively prettier than her.
So why...
Why were his eyes suddenly drawn toward her so naturally?
Why did every small movement she made now feel strangely noticeable?
Sure, he had looked at her before.
But this felt different.
Subtle... yet undeniable.
As if he wanted to keep watching her.
As if simply observing her had become strangely enjoyable.
Meanwhile, Penelope quietly continued eating while drowning inside her own thoughts until she suddenly felt his gaze lingering heavily on her again.
Her brows twitched slightly before she slowly lifted her head.
’W-Why is he staring at me?’
Confusion spread across her face almost immediately.
For some reason... his stare felt completely different from before.
She had seen him look at her many times already, and those gazes usually made her heart pound intentionally because she wanted them to mean something.
But this one...
This one felt unfamiliar.
It felt deeper.
A strange shyness slowly spread through her entire body. Her fingers tightened unconsciously around the spoon while even her breathing became awkward beneath his silent attention.
It almost felt as though he was staring directly through her skin... through her thoughts... trying to see whatever she had hidden deep inside herself all this time.
"M-Mr. Lackey...? Is something... o-on my face?"
She asked hurriedly, unable to endure his gaze any longer. Her voice came out soft and uneven while she nervously tucked several loose strands of hair behind her reddened ear.
And when she did...
Her eyes finally came fully into his view.
Almond-colored eyes carrying a muted softness that felt difficult to forget once noticed.
Not bright.
Not seductive.
Not sharp enough to dominate attention.
Simply... tired.
Tired in a painfully human way.
Those eyes rarely displayed emotions openly, yet loneliness lingered quietly inside them like rainclouds trapped endlessly behind fragile glass.
Lackey suddenly pushed himself up from his chair.
Penelope flinched slightly at his sudden movement.
"M-Mr. Lackey...?"
Before she could say anything else, he leaned closer toward her.
Then his fingers moved gently toward the corner of her eye.
His thumb softly wiped away the faint remaining tear near her lashes while his eyes continued staring directly into hers.
"You have beautiful eyes."
His voice was low and calm.
Those words carried no flirtation.
No manipulation.
No intention to seduce her or comfort her falsely.
He simply meant it.
For the first time, he genuinely wanted to appreciate something about her.
[Ah... Here we go again. (￣_￣|||)... Eye Fetish guy still here~]
His log commented immediately, sounding both amused and mildly annoyed at the same time.
Ba-dump!
Penelope’s heart skipped violently inside her chest as she realised he was staring only at her eyes... nothing else.
Not her body.
Not her lips.
Not even the vulnerable expression on her face.
Just her eyes.
And somehow that made everything feel far more dangerous.
Because she could hear it clearly in his voice.
That tone was genuine.
Almost... quietly fascinated.
As though he truly found them beautiful.
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Her eyes quickly turned teary again while a faint glimmer passed through those lonely almond-colored pupils.
"M-Mr. Lackey... p-please stop teasing me..."
She protested weakly, though even she could hear how unconvincing her voice sounded.
Her hands slightly lifted as if intending to push his fingers away from her face... yet they never actually moved.
Instead, they froze midway.
Unable to reject that warmth.
Something about seeing her squirm nervously beneath his gaze while still allowing his touch strangely calmed Lackey’s heart.
A faint softness passed through his eyes before he lightly pinched her cheek.
A small gesture.
Almost playful.
Then he calmly sat back down in his chair as if nothing unusual had happened.
Meanwhile, Penelope remained completely frozen.
Her mind struggled to process what had just happened while her fingers unconsciously moved toward the cheek he had touched.
Warm.
His touch still felt warm.
For several seconds, she simply stared at him blankly while he casually returned to eating as though pinching her cheek and complimenting her eyes meant absolutely nothing to him.
A complicated emotion slowly surfaced inside her eyes.
"Mr. Lackey... I-I’m not sure what you meant by that..."
"I’m married."
Lackey answered calmly before she could finish.
The words struck her so suddenly that her body almost leaned backwards instinctively.
Her lips parted slightly.
’Of course... someone like him already has someone worthy beside him... right?’
The thought crossed her mind with painful clarity... she didn’t even think it was the reason he rejected her... or maybe she didn’t want to?
Even though she understood her own worth...
Even though she already expected rejection...
Her pitiful heart still kept craving something it could never truly have.
Meanwhile, Lackey quietly stirred the soup in front of him. The silver spoon created slow ripples across the surface while his reflection blurred and distorted beneath the dim restaurant lighting.
"I once told someone something," he muttered calmly while staring at his reflection.
"I’m not the only fish in the vast ocean. Somewhere out there... There might be someone greater. Someone more worthy is waiting for you... and you alone."
Penelope wanted to object immediately.
Wanted to tell him no one else ever made her feel this way.
Wanted to ask why he was saying things that sounded both gentle and cruel at the same time.
But she stayed silent.
Then Lackey chuckled softly.
The ripples in the soup slowly settled, allowing his reflection to become clear again.
"But there’s one thing I made sure of."
His voice lowered slightly.
"If someone gives me their heart... I’ll do everything I can to love them properly and make them happy. That’s the oath I made to myself long ago."
As he spoke, his hand slowly reached forward.
Then gently wrapped it around hers.
His fingers intertwined with hers naturally before tightening slightly, warm and firm enough to make her breath hitch.
"I don’t know what kind of future waits for us," he continued softly.
"People change. Feelings change. Maybe even promises change someday."
His thumb slowly brushed against the back of her hand.
"But once I hold onto someone... and they hold onto me back..."
His eyes quietly met hers again.
"I never let go."
"..."
For a moment, Penelope’s mind completely stopped functioning.
Her thoughts had already become a mess the moment he admitted he was married.
And now...
He was holding her hand so naturally.
So tightly.
Her fingers remained stiff inside his grasp, unable to decide whether she should hold his hand back or pull away entirely.
But among the chaos filling her head, one particular word echoed louder than everything else.
Them.
Her expression slowly paled.
’Them...?’
A faint horror appeared across her face.
’W-Wait... did he mean... more than one?’
Her body trembled slightly while her breathing became uneven. She struggled to keep her composure as countless thoughts crashed violently through her mind.
Her lips parted several times, yet no words immediately came out.
Almost an entire minute passed before she finally forced herself to speak.
"T-Them...? You mean... y-you have...?"
Before she could finish her sentence, the private room door suddenly opened.
A woman wearing a fitted black suit stepped quietly inside.
At the same time, the communication orb inside Lackey’s pocket trembled softly.
Amara’s message.
A faint smirk appeared on Lackey’s face almost instantly, and the warmth lingering in his expression vanished beneath cold composure.
"Looks like you came at the right time."
