Chapter 12: The Mind In The Link
I lasted four hours. Four hours of lying on my bed trying to convince myself I could ride this out alone. Four hours of my temperature climbing until the sheets felt like they were on fire. Four hours of my body screaming at me that I’d had the solution standing right in front of me and I’d walked away from it.
Stupid. That had been stupid.
But bonding all four of them? That wasn’t a solution. That was a different kind of trap.
The heat rolled through me again. Worse this time. I curled on my side and bit down on my fist to keep from making noise.
It didn’t work.
The sound that came out of me was raw and desperate and I hated it.
Selene.
Riven’s voice. Not out loud. In my head.
I’d walled the link. How was he—
You dropped the wall when the pain spiked. His presence pushed through gently. Carefully. I’m outside your door. Let me in.
"No." My voice shook even saying it to the empty room.
You’re burning. I can feel it from here.
"I’m fine."
You’re lying.
Another wave hit. I pressed my face into the pillow and tried to breathe through it.
The knock came anyway. Soft. Patient.
"Go away, Riven."
"Can’t." His voice carried through the wood. Real, not in my head this time. "Open the door or I’m coming in anyway."
"It’s locked."
"I’m second in command of this pack. You think locked doors stop me?"
Silence. Then the click of the lock disengaging.
I didn’t have the energy to be mad about it.
The door opened. Closed. Footsteps crossed the room.
The bed dipped as he sat on the edge of it.
"Don’t touch me." I kept my face in the pillow.
"I’m not." His voice stayed quiet. "But I need you to look at me."
"Why."
"So I can see how bad it is."
I turned my head. Just enough to see him.
He’d showered recently. Dark hair still damp. T-shirt and loose pants like he’d been trying to sleep and given up on it. His eyes tracked over my face — flushed, pupils blown, sweat-damp — and his jaw went tight.
"You’re in the spike." Not a question.
I nodded.
"How long."
"Since midnight."
He checked his watch. "That’s five hours."
"I can count."
"Can you think?"
I opened my mouth. Closed it.
He already knew the answer.
"The spike is the worst part." He reached up. Hesitated. "Can I check your temperature?"
I should have said no.
I nodded.
His palm pressed to my forehead. Cool against my overheated skin. I almost moaned at the relief of it.
His hand flexed. "You’re burning at least 103. Maybe higher."
"That’s not dangerous." frёeweɓηovel.coɱ
"For a normal wolf? No. For a hybrid in her first real heat?" He pulled his hand back. "You could seize. Or worse."
The heat pulsed. I bit down on my lip hard enough to taste copper.
Riven saw it. "When did you last drink water?"
I stared at him.
"Selene."
"I don’t remember."
He stood. Crossed to my bathroom. I heard the tap run. He came back with a glass and held it out.
I pushed myself upright. Took it. Drank half before my hands started shaking too badly to hold it steady.
He took the glass back. Set it on the nightstand. Sat beside me again.
"Kael told me what happened." His voice stayed level. "About Draven. About the prophecy."
"Then you know why I sent him away."
"I know you’re scared."
My throat went tight. "I’m not—"
"You’re terrified." Gentle. Certain. "Because bonding one alpha is manageable. Bonding four is insane."
I didn’t answer.
"But you need to understand what happens if you don’t."
"I ride out the heat alone."
"No." His hand found mine. Laced our fingers together. "Your heat is accelerating beyond what suppressant withdrawal should cause. Your hybrid blood is reacting to all four of us being in proximity. Your biology has already decided. It’s trying to force the issue."
"My biology doesn’t get to decide."
"I know." He squeezed my hand. "But if you fight it too hard, you’ll burn yourself out. Literally. Your fever will spike past what your body can handle."
I pulled my hand free. "So my choices are bond all four of you or die trying not to."
"Your choices are let us help you through this, or suffer alone until your body gives you an ultimatum you can’t refuse."
"That’s not a choice."
"No." He met my eyes. "It’s not."
We sat there in silence. The heat rolled through me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and tried to hold myself together.
"I don’t know how to do this." My voice came out small. "I don’t know how to be what everyone needs me to be."
"Then don’t be." He shifted closer. "Be what you need to be. The rest figures itself out."
"What if what I need is all wrong?" freewebnoveℓ.com
"Then we’ll be wrong together." He reached up. Brushed sweat-damp hair off my forehead. "You’re not doing this alone. Not anymore."
The gentleness of it broke me.
I turned into him. Pressed my face against his shoulder. Felt his arms come around me, steady and sure.
"I’m scared." The words came out muffled against his shirt.
"I know."
"I don’t want to lose myself."
"You won’t." His hand came up to cup the back of my head. "We’ll make sure of it."
"How can you promise that."
"Because I’ve been in your head." His voice went quieter. "I know who you are. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you never forget it."
I pulled back. Looked at him. "Why."
"Why what."
"Why do you care this much." My voice cracked. "You barely know me."
His thumb traced my cheekbone. "I’ve known you since you were five miles out from pack territory. I felt your fear. Your determination. Your absolute refusal to break even when you had every reason to." His eyes held mine. "You think I don’t know you? I know exactly who you are, Selene Kane. And I’ve been waiting my entire life for you to get here."
The heat pulsed.
His pupils dilated.
"Riven—"
"I’m not going to touch you unless you ask." His hand dropped. "But I need you to know. When you’re ready. When you decide you trust us. I’ll be here. We all will."
"What if I’m never ready."
"Then we wait."
"What if the heat doesn’t wait."
His jaw set. "Then we help you through it without the bond. It’s possible. Harder. But possible."
"How."
"Carefully." He stood. "But first you need to eat. And drink more water. And let your body cool down before it does permanent damage."
I looked up at him. "I don’t want to be alone right now."
"Then I’ll stay." He settled back on the bed. Leaned against the headboard. Opened his arms. "Come here."
I hesitated.
"I’m not going to do anything." His voice stayed gentle. "Just hold you until the spike passes."
I crawled over to him. Let him pull me against his chest. His body temperature was cooler than mine — normal wolf versus overheated hybrid — and the relief of it made me sag against him.
His arms came around me. Secure. Safe.
"Sleep if you can," he murmured. "I’ll be here when you wake up."
I didn’t think I could sleep.
But exhaustion pulled me under anyway.
The last thing I felt was his hand running through my hair, steady and patient, while my heat finally quieted to a manageable burn.