Free Web NovelChapter 290: Chapter 292: Crying
The tough guy pulled the boy, Xiao Shan, into an embrace, holding his head. Xiao Shan struggled at first, but the man’s firm hand kept him still. He slowly stopped fighting, wrapped his arms around the man’s waist, and began to sob.
The sight made An Ning’s nose tingle, on the verge of tears.
’If I hadn’t come here, I wouldn’t have any family with me at all.’
’I have teachers and classmates, but no family.’
An Ning’s gaze shifted to An Guoming, who was pretending something was in his eye as he wiped its corner.
The moment he noticed An Ning looking, he subconsciously straightened his back, acting as if nothing was wrong.
Amused, An Ning almost laughed. But the sound of sniffling from another direction made her turn her head.
"Yu the Elder?"
"Ah? It’s just so moving. When you get to my age, you can’t handle scenes like this."
Yu the Elder made no effort to hide his tears. He held a dark blue handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes with great earnestness.
"It’s good to show your true feelings."
An Ning’s gaze returned to the father and son.
At this point, Xiao Shan, likely feeling a bit embarrassed, wiped his tears and pulled away from his father’s embrace, standing awkwardly to the side.
The tough guy’s eyes were also moist. He looked at his son, and for the first time, it hit him with crystal clarity just how much he had failed the boy.
His wife had passed away young. He had no parents or siblings. There were no relatives on Xiao Shan’s maternal side, either. He himself was away most of the year, leaving the boy in Beijing with only Uncle Feng.
"Xiao Shan, let me ask you. Was what Miss An just said true? Are you really doing that... what was it... with your scores?"
The tough guy looked to An Ning for help, and she softly supplied the two words.
"Score manipulation."
The tough guy nodded and turned back to Xiao Shan.
The boy wasn’t awkward for even a full minute before he recovered. His composure was truly impressive.
"I guess you could say that."
Having admitted it, the boy decided to just say everything.
"Dad, I’m really smart! I’ve been training with Uncle Feng, too. I’ll be great at anything I do."
"If you let me enlist, I’ll be the best soldier there is."
"Then we can be a father-son team on the battlefield. Wouldn’t that be great?"
The longing in the boy’s eyes was bright enough to light up the night. He just wanted to be with his father.
Hearing Xiao Shan’s confirmation, the tough guy didn’t know whether to feel proud or heartbroken.
He watched Xiao Shan in silence. Across from him, the light in Xiao Shan’s eyes slowly dimmed, and the boy lowered his head.
"You’re going to say no, aren’t you?"
Though phrased as a question, it was a statement of fact. He knew. He was all too familiar with that expression on his father’s face.
"Why? Other kids get to be with their parents. Why can’t I?"
"You want me to focus on my studies, but I can study in the army! I can even stay home by myself—I can do everything! I’m not some little kid who can’t take care of himself anymore."
"If you don’t believe me, ask Uncle Feng! I’ve learned to cook, do laundry, and chop firewood. I can do it all! I even learned how to sew..."
As the boy spoke, tears began to fall again, betraying his resolve.
He truly didn’t understand why he couldn’t be with his father.
All the other kids could.
It should have been the simplest thing in the world, so why was it so difficult?
The boy’s tearful pleas were like needles pricking the tough guy’s heart.
He wanted that, too, but his unit’s rules wouldn’t allow it.
He was away on missions for ten months out of the year, almost never at the base. Even if his son came to live there, they still wouldn’t see each other.
"Xiao Shan, listen to me. I can’t—"
"I don’t want to hear it!"
"I’m not listening!"
"I don’t want to hear it!"
Xiao Shan wailed, but then his crying turned into a bitter laugh. He wiped his eyes roughly with his sleeve and said, his voice thick and nasal, "I get it. You have missions. You’re never home."
"I get it all, Dad. I really do."
Xiao Shan looked his father in the eye and forced a smile onto his face.
"I won’t go, Dad."
"Really. I won’t go anymore."
As if to prove his sincerity, the boy shook his head vigorously.
The tears he was desperately trying to hold back flew from the corners of his eyes, and a single drop landed right on the tough guy’s cheek.
He wiped the tear from his face with a rough finger.
’In this moment, this very moment, I just want to give it all up.’
’Give up the career I’ve dedicated my life to, give up the country I fight for.’
The thought was fleeting, gone as quickly as it came.
’I can’t.’
’I’m not just one person.’
’I have countless comrades behind me, countless families depending on us.’
"I’m sorry, Xiao Shan."
At his father’s apology, Xiao Shan—the one who should have been feeling wronged—was the one who stepped forward to offer comfort.
"No, Dad, it’s me. I’m the one who’s wrong. I shouldn’t have been like that. I know the work you do is good and right."
"Don’t be sad. I won’t make a fuss ever again. Starting today, I’ll study hard and get into the best university, okay?"
Xiao Shan hugged his father’s head and sniffled loudly before whispering in his ear, "Dad, I’ll make you proud, just like you make me proud."
The father and son clung to each other, weeping in silence.
"AHHH—WAAAAAAH—this is... Damn it, who can even watch this!"
An Guoming dropped the pretense and started wailing, unable to hold it back any longer.
Not only could he not hold it back, but he was also a mess of tears and snot, unable to wipe them away fast enough.
An Ning had been moved, too, but the sight of An Guoming sobbing uncontrollably and hunting for something to wipe his nose with forcibly snapped her out of it.
"Second Brother, here."
An Ning pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to An Guoming.
"SNIFFLE—*sob*—ha... ahhhh, hehe, little sis."
An Guoming was crying too hard to form a coherent sentence, gasping between sobs. His display was so over the top that the two main characters of this drama, the father and son, had actually stopped crying.
In the courtyard, Yu the Elder, who had also stopped pretending, was no longer crying. Across from him, Uncle Feng, who had been a blubbering mess, had also fallen silent.
In the entire courtyard, only An Guoming’s cries could be heard.
It was as if a switch had been flipped, or perhaps holding it in before had been too much for him. Either way, An Guoming couldn’t stop crying.
He sat on a small stool Xiao Shan had brought over, clutching a snot-covered handkerchief and babbling at An Ning through his tears.
"L-l-little... sis... I... I c-c-can’t... st-st-stop."
An Ning reached out a hand to pat An Guoming, but his head was slick with sweat from crying so hard. She settled for resting a single finger on his shoulder.
"It’s all right, it’s all right. Just cry. Cry it all out, you’ll feel better."
An Ning didn’t try to stop him. She figured it wasn’t a big deal for a man to cry; it was like a detox.
Her second brother had almost never cried, not since they were children.
In the courtyard, everyone else waited quietly for An Guoming to finish, his whimpers standing out in the silence.
Xiao Shan, arms crossed, sidled up to An Ning and asked with easy familiarity, "Did I look that ugly when I was crying?"
An Ning turned to Xiao Shan and shook her head.
Just as Xiao Shan was about to look smug, An Ning added, "You looked much uglier."
