Free Web Novel"Name: Seo Ryujin. Age: 19. Nickname: Logic Goddess?"
"Yeah. I was kind of well-known among Logic trainees, so that nickname stuck."
"But you're under KJ Entertainment right now."
"Yeah, we're a project group, so we have two agencies!"
The Guy Next Door cast gave a decent reaction to Seo Ryujin’s answer while exchanging glances among themselves.
And sure enough, a prankish question—basically their trademark—came flying in right away.
"Ryujin, I heard there’s a rumor that isn’t your real nickname?"
"What?"
"The nicknames I heard were Ryujin-scrub, Seo No-Fun, and Seo Jigglypuff. What are those?"
"Yucheol, you punk! There’s nothing you won’t say to her! What kind of idol nickname is scrub and no-fun?!"
Dogpiled by a senior idol and a famous comedian, Seo Ryujin made a startled face and didn’t know what to do.
But,
"···I’m not no-fun. I came out today to smash that image!"
She shook her head, answered that she wasn’t no-fun, then put on a grimly determined expression.
"Really? Then, go on. Make us laugh."
"Do you guys know Shin Ramyun is···mmph!"
The moment Seo Ryujin tried to say something with eyes full of confidence, the Iam members came rushing in with pale faces and clamped a hand over Seo Ryujin’s mouth.
"Protect our leader!!!"
"What is it? You have to let her talk! You’re making people curious!"
After that, the other members naturally carried the conversation forward and wrapped up the sudden situation.
And when a small burst of laughter from the staff could be heard at the banter between the Iam members and the cast, Juwon formed a satisfied smile without realizing.
"PD Yoon, they’re doing well without us having to pull them out." freewёbnoνel.com
"Guess my instincts aren’t dead yet."
Maybe it wasn’t only Juwon who was satisfied with today’s shoot. The Guy Next Door’s head writer Hyejin was also watching the set with a pleased smile.
"It’s really not easy for every single group member to get moments."
"Their characters are all clear."
"I almost freaked out when I saw Ryu Ayeon. What kind of kid dances for twenty minutes straight?"
Rookie girl idols.
Originally, from a variety PD’s standpoint, they were the biggest headache.
-PD Yoon, you know, right? Our kids just debuted, so they need to manage their image.
The moment you tried to make it even a little raw, the manager would go pale and beg you to please go easy.
But would kids who had just debuted really have variety sense and crank out screen time on their own, smoothly and on schedule?
So whenever rookie girl idols appeared, starting with the cast, the writers would spend days agonizing over scripts and situation skits, and after filming, the PD and editing team would make it routine to package things into “watchable” scenes no matter what.
A flower backdrop.
To a variety PD, rookie girl idols were, truly, nothing but a pretty flower backdrop.
But,
"Yuri is famous for being really good at blank-blank-blank-blank!"
Just looking at the way the Iam members were running what you could call The Guy Next Door’s signature segment, "Guess Me," it was obvious they were different.
"Making donuts?"
Even at Kim Yucheol’s joke—Kim Yucheol was famous for tossing out cigarette cracks without hesitation, basically taboo when aimed at girl idols—
"Yuri is good at baking too, but that’s not the answer!"
—even Kurosawa Yuri’s calm comeback was like that.
"Give us a hint."
"Did you guys seriously not even watch Agbaek? Yuri showed so much there!"
"Yuri, even if we watched it, we can’t say we watched it here. This is JABC···."
"Yuri doesn’t know that."
Instead of getting flustered, Yuri brazenly brought up a program from another network and made the cast flustered instead.
"You guys really haven’t studied Yuri enough, huh? Can’t be helped. Yuri will give you a hint! Yuri practiced this while watching a movie."
"A movie? Uh···voice impressions?"
"That’s right!"
When the cast got the right answer, Yuri hopped in place with an energetic reaction. If someone else had done it, it would’ve felt like too much, but somehow it fit so perfectly it even looked refreshingly cute.
"What can you do? Can you show it right now?"
"Of course!"
After answering confidently that Yuri could show it, Yuri cleared the throat for a moment, then—
"Ahem···You wench!! Ah···uagh···! Uegh···ah!"
With the most wronged expression in the world, Yuri wailed out a line—no, a screech.
Pfft!
And at the exact same time, laughter exploded across the set.
Yuri not only did the voice impression, Yuri even copied the male lead’s expression from an old historical drama that had been popular back then. It was convincing enough that not just the cast, but even the staff, all burst out laughing.
Even the audio director—someone who would normally get irritated about noise bleeding into the track—was laughing first.
Kurosawa Yuri had made the situation that funny.
'This is definitely going to get a reaction!'
Not just right now, either. Nobody could even tell how many times something like this had already happened during today’s shoot.
-Juwon, do you think these kids are gonna give us usable airtime? You know how, when you bring in a bunch of kids, the mood goes cold the second you get even a little rough, right?
-Sir, just trust me and go with it. Don’t push them too hard. If you let them loosen up among themselves, they’ll handle it fine.
-Yeah? You sure?
-Iam is different from other girl idols.
Juwon suddenly remembered talking with the program’s main MC, Kang Hobong, after Iam had been chosen as today’s guest.
A veteran MC, Kang Hobong knew the risk of having rookie girl idols appear on their own, so Kang Hobong recommended calling in another comedian, or a senior idol member with experience.
That way, you could pull at least something funny during filming.
But Juwon—the one who had persuaded Kang Hobong and proposed filming with only the Iam members—thought that judgment had been right.
'I’ve felt it since Agbaek. The Iam members are ready-to-deploy.'
The Guy Next Door’s main PD, Yoon Juwon, was a devoted viewer of Idol Ground 100.
Watching that program, Yoon Juwon had been deeply impressed by the overflowing energy those contestants showed even before debut.
What kind of girl idols go out for a smoke break at the dorm, run to a convenience store, then crank out a full episode’s worth of footage through a quiz show and a talent show?
Was that when it started?
'What if they came on our program?'
Somehow, with those members, Yoon Juwon had gotten a gut feeling—something close to certainty—that they’d do well even if they came on The Guy Next Door.
That was why Yoon Juwon had booked Iam in advance, back when Iam hadn’t even debuted yet. At the time, Yoon Juwon even heard comments like, did KJ pay you off or something?
And, to be fair, if you asked people to name the hottest variety show right now, plenty [N O V E L I G H T] would name The Guy Next Door. There were lots of famous celebrities dying to appear, so there was no reason to go out of the way to cast rookie girl idols.
But Yoon Juwon’s decision to push through the Iam booking despite all the concern had been correct.
Because in the filming so far, the Iam members were filling the runtime, each and every one, like they were saying, 'I’ll take care of my own bowl myself.'
'Is it because they’re survival-show kids?'
The Iam members were adapting to variety so perfectly that even Yoon Juwon—who had expected they’d do well—was surprised.
Thinking about it, they were members who survived Idol Ground 100, where a hundred people had to compete over airtime. In that sense, it felt almost inevitable that variety sense would get installed as basic equipment.
And then,
"Kang Hobong, come out!"
Lee Sion—the spearhead of the members who were showing off that variety sense—was preparing to put the finishing touch on today’s climax.
***
-What, you want to play your debut song? You little punks, where do you get off trying to get free promo like that? Back in my day, if you wanted to promote even once, you had to do Hobong’s dance initiation twenty times!
The Guy Next Door recording went more smoothly than I expected.
'Who knew Seo No-Fun would try that hard.'
When we were alone, Seo Ryujin’s variety sense was criminal-level, but around other people, it seemed to at least hit the average.
Even Seo Ryujin—the one I worried about most—was trading lines back and forth with the cast and adapting to the show well.
But of course, there was no way it would end like this.
According to the script, it was time for us to show our debut song stage, Feels Like Something’s About to Start.
"Do you know who the boss of our class is? If our boss doesn’t allow it, you absolutely can’t promote!"
"Iam! I remember it clearly! When you wrote down the partner you wanted, none of you wrote my name, right? Hmph!"
With a deliberately angry face, cheeks puffed out, Masan Whitebeard threw a cute tantrum—while a former idol, no, a current idol, and Whitebeard’s right-hand comedian egged Masan Whitebeard on.
"What, this wasn’t in the script?"
"Looks like we need to improvise something."
"Should Yuri do an assassination voice impression?"
At that, even the members who’d been doing fine up to now looked flustered, huddling and whispering while trying to come up with a plan.
'Hmm···.'
I glanced over the crew to read the situation, and it really did look like this was the cast ad-libbing.
A few writers had panicked faces, shaking a sketchpad that read, "Keep it reasonable!"
But the main PD and main writer were watching the situation like it was interesting, gesturing to keep rolling.
'So my aunt wasn’t the only ratings addict.'
Seeing that, a certain ratings demon overlapped in my mind—someone who traded a niece for ratings.
There was no choice.
This kind of sudden situation was still too much for rookies to handle, so I had to step in.
Step.
"I’m Iam’s boss!"
The moment I stepped forward and shouted at the cast, everyone’s gaze snapped onto me.
"Lee Sion!"
Masan Whitebeard called my name with an excited face, like Masan Whitebeard had been waiting for this.
"How are you going to let us promote?"
"Hey! You got the confidence?!"
"As for me, I’m the pride of New Wings Kindergarten, the first to get admitted to the gifted education institute, Haandong Ronaldo on the playground, and in Legend of Valley, I was called the Widow Maker."
"What?"
At my flashy string of titles, Kang Hobong and everyone gathered on set looked stunned.
Only the members behind me were rubbing their foreheads like, here we go again.
"S-so! You’re saying you’re going to go up against me, the boss of The Guy Next Door?!"
Maybe the shock only lasted a moment, because Masan Whitebeard quickly got it together and came screaming at me again in a high-pitched voice, and I tilted my head.
"I don’t refuse people who challenge me."
"Ha! You’re funny? Me! Kang Hobong is the challenger?!"
"Sir, you gotta show her what’s what!"
"Hobong, you can’t let that slide!"
"Hey, Hobong, we’re athletes. You can’t do that to civilians."
Maybe this standoff between me and Kang Hobong was getting entertaining, because now the other cast members were chiming in too, subtly adding fuel and raising the temperature.
Backing down here would be the kind of disaster only Seo Ryujin would cause, so doing something was the right move.
"Fine! Lee Sion, if you beat me, you can promote all you want today! If you lose, you’re filming Star King with me today!"
Star King!
It was the name of a program from Kang Hobong’s prime years, infamous for making guests do personal talents for twenty-four hours straight.
For that name to come out of Kang Hobong’s mouth meant one thing: the moment I lost today, Kang Hobong was going to squeeze me and the Iam members down to the marrow.
"So what are we competing in? A dance battle? Or what, a talent?"
Now that the mood had flowed into me and Kang Hobong having a showdown, we had to pick the event.
'A dance battle?'
A dance battle—the event Kim Yucheol had blurted out.
Sure, my training period was still short, but I’d obviously have the edge over Kang Hobong in dance, so it probably came up for my sake as the idol junior.
But even if I’m an idol right now, in my past life I was an Army captain.
How could I force an event that was unfavorable to my opponent?
Crashing head-on into what the opponent is strong at—that was the true path a real hero should walk.
Even in Legend of Valley, I never dodged opponents who came at me.
"Kang Hobong!"
"What!"
"Are you really that good at fighting?"
"What?"
A former national wrestling champion.
I didn’t know when I’d ever get another chance to collide with a giant like this, with an aura that still carried that old status.
'If Kang Hobong was a monster, this is definitely someone you’d slap an S-rank on.'
It was time for S-rank Hunter Lee Sion to deploy.
"Come up to the roof!"
Maybe Kang Hobong hadn’t expected me to call Kang Hobong out, because Kang Hobong hesitated for a second—then kicked the chair back and stood up.
"Are you seriously saying you wanna fight Hobong?"
With fists pressed to both cheeks, Kang Hobong puffed and huffed.
It was a cutesy pose, but with that body, it was intimidating enough to feel pressure.
"How about a chicken fight? If you’re scared, you can quit. I don’t have a bad habit of attacking the weak."
"Hah! I saw that video! You’re trash at chicken fights!"
"Trash? Wrestling is Lee Mangi!"
"What? You didn’t see me beat Mangi?"
While Kang Hobong and I spat fierce trash talk, the staff and cast—and even our members—started clearing desks and making space in the middle of the classroom.
"Sir, you’re incredible. I never thought you’d really go all the way to a chicken fight against a girl. You’re getting nastier by the day."
"Seokgeun! That’s not a girl idol! Didn’t you hear what she just said to me—come up to the roof?!"
Soon, the Iam members gathered behind me, and the cast gathered behind Kang Hobong, and the whole thing started to look like a real match.
"Lee Sion, win today!"
"Captain, you got this!!!"
"Sion, go win and come back!"
Even the members who normally would’ve heckled me were cheering, because the person I was facing was Kang Hobong.
Step.
I didn’t look back at them. I just clenched a fist and raised one hand up toward the sky.
The legendary baseball player Babe Ruth was famous for calling the shot before hitting a home run.
My pose right now was also the pose of promised victory.
"Alright, then, starting now—Lee Sion vs. Kang Hobong, chicken-leg fight begins!"
At the referee comedian Lee Seokgeun’s announcement, Kang Hobong and I each lifted one leg and clasped it with both hands.
'No openings at all.'
Kang Hobong stood like a silent mountain.
From the eyes of a chicken-fight veteran like me, if I rushed in carelessly, the odds were high I’d get countered on the spot.
Maybe Kang Hobong noticed my tension, because Kang Hobong suddenly,
"Raaawr!"
With an exaggerated motion and tone, Kang Hobong gave me a little threat.
'Now!'
Maybe Kang Hobong was looking down on me and showed an opening. The moment I spotted that split-second gap, I lunged at Kang Hobong.
"Come on!"
Kang Hobong saw my attack and sprang up to meet it, moving with a quickness that didn’t match that build.
And the moment Kang Hobong’s knee and my knee collided in midair.
'Damn!'
As if proving Kang Hobong wasn’t a national champion for nothing, an insane amount of force transmitted through the knee. freёwebnoѵel.com
At this rate, I was about to get pushed and topple over.
-Sion, get up! You’re Iam’s pride!
But I, Haan-dong Kim Duhan, couldn’t go down like this.
"Hong···."
"What?"
"I’m going to promote!!!"
I squeezed out every ounce of strength in my body, endured Kang Hobong’s attack, then wrung out even the last of my baby strength and launched a counterattack.
***
"Yeah, I picked up."
"Did the kids finish recording?"
"It just ended. I posted it in the group chat, Raon."
"Hey, it’s their first variety shoot—how can you just leave a message! The CEO still hasn’t left work and is waiting."
The moment Yunsik posted the update in the group chat that Iam’s first variety recording had ended safely, Raon’s call came in, and he couldn’t believe it.
-Does it look like they’ll get airtime?
-Are the cast pushing them around?
-How do they look today? Condition-wise?
After checking in every ten minutes during filming, what was Raon still so curious about that Raon had to call too?
Still,
"They did well today. Our kids."
"Really?!"
"Yeah."
"Think we got some funny footage?"
Knowing how much Raon wanted to hear they’d secured plenty of fun moments, Yunsik answered sincerely again.
"Today too, Sion tore it up."
Without exaggeration, Lee Sion—the variety demon—had blown it up again.
