Free Web NovelAfter ending the call and throwing my phone onto the bed, I moved my stiff body and checked my condition. Maybe because I’d been beaten around a bit, a faint muscle ache spread through my entire body.
'Ah.... I’m hungry.' freewebnøvel.coɱ
Maybe because I hadn’t eaten anything properly since the meal at the center, my hunger was also fairly severe.
'My mood is seriously fucking awful.'
Even though it was almost the first contact Kwon Taehan had made with me since we met, I had no particular impression of it. If it weren’t for this situation, I might have found it entertaining.... But, well, right now, it wasn’t particularly entertaining either.
Just then, the ringtone rang sharply. Instead of answering, I just let it ring. The ringtone went on for quite a while before finally cutting off. Soon after, another call came in, but I did not answer that one either.
I stared silently at the door and waited for Kwon Taehan to come.
Knock, knock.
A short while later, I heard a knock. I leisurely approached the door and waited for a moment. The knocking soon changed into the sound of the door being pounded violently.
“Seo Jehyun, open the door.”
I listened silently to the voice pretending to be cold, then flung the door open in an instant. With a clatter, Kwon Taehan, who briefly lost his balance, hurriedly grabbed the wall beside the door.
“Good reflexes.”
When I grabbed his arm in admiration, Kwon Taehan shook off my hand. Unbothered, I seized his collar, yanked him inside in one swift pull, and closed the door.
“.......”
Even though he had ended up coming all the way here to find me, Kwon Taehan did not easily open his mouth. He must have been trying hard to use his head.
'Though whether anything useful will come out of that is doubtful.'
I looked at Kwon Taehan, then spoke first.
“You came because you had something to say, didn’t you? Hurry up. I’m really hungry right now. Mm, and I don’t feel good.”
“...Treatment.”
“Do you think I had time to get treated?”
“Why wouldn’t you? You went back first.”
Come to think of it, I hadn’t been paying any attention to the cleanup after the Dungeon Break. Only then did I ask Kwon Taehan,
“Did they clean up the Break?”
“...Yeah.”
“When did you get back?”
“A while ago.”
“About an hour?”
“.......”
I asked while recalling the time of the last text Kwon Taehan had sent. Instead of answering that, he stayed silent for a moment, then said quietly,
“I’m still thinking. Whether you really know something and are acting like this, or whether you’re just one of the variables.”
“Haha.... Just one of the variables?”
Fuck, even when he used his head, he kept coming back to the same place.
“Sure, what do you think? Does everything look like it just happened by chance? Even though I’m acting this suspicious? If it were me, I’d at least interrogate properly, Taehan....”
I passed Kwon Taehan and went back to sit on the bed. I thought I would have recovered from fatigue because I had slept a fair amount, but maybe the accumulated exhaustion was stronger than expected, because I felt hazy overall.
Then, as if Kwon Taehan had finally made up his mind, he opened his mouth.
“I suspected you from the beginning. From when you were in the ‘Forsaken Land.’ Because I’d never seen you there.”
“Good. Keep talking.”
“Why you were in SH Guild, what reason you had to get tangled up with Haeseong Guild, what kind of connection you had with Guild Master Song Hwayoung... and why you’re with Seowon.”
“.......”
“It was all strange, but I just let it pass.”
“Why?”
Because of that trivial little thing about me killing him? But if he had already died four times, shouldn’t he know? Whether I had memories or not, we would inevitably become entangled.
'It would be better to approach me and rip information out of me.'
Did he not want to get swept up with me? If so, that was an incredible misunderstanding. In the end, the reference point for everything was him.
'Idiot bastard.'
The months I had lived here disappeared under the simple phrase “grace period.” During that grace period, I had tried to twist the original because I had not known what to do, but in the end, hadn’t things roughly flowed according to the original anyway?
Of course, it was the same even after Kwon Taehan regressed. Even if he felt that change more strongly.
Without waiting for Kwon Taehan to speak, I immediately started.
“Because it felt like I was holding you in my hand and swinging you around? Because you were afraid you’d trust me again this time and be deceived?”
“...What?”
Ah, I was used to this warning light now.
Warning.
Do not damage indiv■duality.
“Ah... fuck, seriously, what the hell do I have to do for it to count as damage? I’d really like to damage it for once too.”
“What are you suddenly talking about....”
“Taehan, fuck! This is seriously fascinating. What should I do? I wish there was at least a guideline for what I should do and how I should do it from now on!”
Warning.
Do not damage indiv■duality.
Ignoring the warning window that popped up repeatedly like a broken pop-up, I looked at Kwon Taehan, who was watching me with a confused expression. Even though the warning window in front of my eyes was large enough that it could never be ignored, it did not even enter my sight.
“What the hell.... What are you? What do you know? What do you mean, what should you do? Seo Jehyun!”
“Yeah, what should I do? Fuck.... This is so fucking disgusting.”
A familiar pain surged in. My entire head felt stiff, then hurt so intensely it seemed about to split apart. The pain from the fight just now disappeared lightly in comparison.
But I paid no attention to the pain and gripped Kwon Taehan’s arm firmly. Kwon Taehan, wearing a troubled expression, hunched his body as if tense somehow. I let go of his arm and rose from my seat.
It felt horrible, as if the pain that had started as a headache was spreading through my whole body. Cold sweat ran down my spine. But right now, I was swept up in a fierce emotion strong enough that even that pain was forgotten cleanly.
Was it anger? No, that was not all.
As I moved forward, Kwon Taehan also gradually stepped backward. Only after finally driving Kwon Taehan all the way to the wall could I look at him.
“Taehan, you asked if I know you?”
“.......”
“You don’t get it? I do! Even during that short time, I waited for you the whole time, so how could I not know? Then do you know me? Fuck, do you know me?”
I had read Kwon Taehan, and even if I had misread him, I had witnessed everything—how his emotions developed, what his ending had been. I had also seen those fragmentary memories thrown at me like hints more than once.
But what about Kwon Taehan? Did he know me? The Kwon Taehan of this point in time, no less? No, in the first place, how had “I” ended up here and come face to face with him like this?
Hot blood surged up the back of my throat. I turned only my head, spat blood onto the floor, and looked back at Kwon Taehan.
“Taehan, must be nice! You just have to follow the fixed route like you’ve always done. But what should I do? At what point should I interfere with you, and at what point....”
Should I kill Kwon Taehan?
But I could not say that much. Because a terrible pain, incomparable to just now, tore through my head.
Kwon Taehan, who had looked as if he might grab me by the collar at any moment, seemed to decide by this point that there was something wrong with my head and urgently grabbed my cheeks.
“Seo Jehyun!”
“.......”
“I don’t understand a single thing you’re saying, so if you’re going to talk, please say it so I can understand!”
“Fuck, what do I have to do for you to understand? Even I don’t know what I’m saying!”
I was getting sick to death of this fucking penalty or whatever the hell it was now. The method it used to barely keep my mouth shut was pain and internal injury? But at the same time, so very...... conveniently, the moment Kwon Taehan’s hand touched me, the warning windows vanished all at once as if collapsing.
'Son of a bitch.'
Even this was all affected by Kwon Taehan, so what the hell was I supposed to do from now on?
Kwon Taehan judged my condition by my expression and then went quiet for a moment, as if going back over what I had said.
A moment later, the hand that had fallen from my cheek went straight to my collar.
At the feeling of my breath catching sharply, a laugh escaped me on its own. Instead of forcibly pushing Kwon Taehan away, I stayed still to watch what he would do.
“You know me? Seo Jehyun. Don’t say anything ridiculous.”
“.......”
“Fine, I’ll say it the way you want. I don’t know how this happened, but do you have some memories this time? Then do you know this isn’t only the second time?”
“Second time?”
Ha, fuck. I knew better than anyone that it wasn’t the second time and how many times it had repeated. Unable to hold back my sneer, I let out a cackling laugh.
“Yeah.... So?”
When I barely managed to rein in my laughter and asked back, Kwon Taehan pulled me a little closer toward him, lowered his voice, and spoke almost as if he were shouting through clenched teeth.
“Then how can you do this to me? Do you know? I wanted to ask the whole time. How can you.... Fuck, Seo Jehyun!”
“You swear too.... Fuck, that’s funny.”
“Fine, so you have memories. How is it? Does it feel like starting your life over? Do you feel that fucking powerless feeling too?”
“Powerless? Seriously?”
“Yeah. I came back to the beginning, and I know everything, but there’s no one who knows me. Have you experienced how fucking awful that is? I’m curious what you think. If I’d been a...! psychopath without a single emotion like you, it would’ve been really easy!”
“Why wouldn’t I have emotions? I’m genuinely curious. Are you saying that because you think everything I’m doing right now is not emotional at all, but a thoroughly rational act, Hunter Kwon?”
I had only poured out words, but I felt out of breath. I breathed shallowly and tried to drive out the traces of pain that remained. Because my collar was held so tightly, it was not easy to steady my breathing.
Kwon Taehan did not take his eyes off me the whole time, watching me quietly with that overflowing fullness of emotion he could possess, until finally, the strength in his grip loosened with a tap.
“You know me? Then... tell me. Why did I come all the way here?”
“.......”
“Try guessing.”
The cold voice no longer boiled over. I rubbed around my neck and bent forward to catch my breath. It felt as if the single desire to survive had turned my head into a muddy mess.
“Fuck....”
The reason Kwon Taehan had come all the way here? It was unclear what “here” even meant. Perth? Or the room I was staying in?
I slowly straightened my upper body and faced him. What exactly was Kwon Taehan feeling right now?
“Why did you come here? Who knows.... Did you find out I killed Hunter Chase Holt and come to threaten me?”
“...I thought you must have killed him.”
“But you know. You.... What other method should I have used then? I only created the minimum amount of damage. As that bastard died, the Gate clear speed became absurdly faster, and the Dungeon Break damage was reduced. I also got rid of every Hunter who would have been sacrificed to Chase later. It’s very reasonable.”
“.......”
Kwon Taehan looked at me with complicated eyes and firmly closed his mouth.
Then, at last, he opened his trembling lips.
“I thought you would judge it that way. I also know that, from your perspective, it wasn’t malicious.”
“.......”
“I’m not saying it was a good thing. But that’s not why I came.”
“Then is it Joo Seowon?”
I immediately raised another possibility.
“You met alone before, didn’t you.... Did you find out how I kept them beside me?”
“...I thought that was strange too. Why, exactly?”
“They’re useful.... And even aside from that, I needed Joo Seowon. In a lot of ways. Including personal feelings.... Well, that’s over now.”
“Ha....”
Kwon Taehan said nothing after that sigh. I found his silence somehow frustrating.
'Fuck, I can only know if you say it.'
The reason Kwon Taehan had come here?
“Forming a positive relationship with Hunter Sung....”
“I said none of that.”
“Then what the hell is it? You hate me this much, and you find me horrifying... Fuck, Taehan. Why the hell did you come? Ah, is it out of a sense of duty? You have that, don’t you? A sense of mission, duty, a hero complex.... Good child syndrome, mental illness. Well, I don’t know which one of these it is. All of them?”
The last words came out almost mockingly. I sighed and added,
“Ah.... I guess I want you to feel like shit....”
“Then you succeeded. Because I feel seriously fucking awful right now.”
“.......”
“And you said I hate you and find you horrifying?”
As he spat those words out, Kwon Taehan shoved me hard in the chest. Since I hadn’t been bracing myself, my whole body was pushed sharply backward.
Kwon Taehan clenched his fist tightly, then slowly loosened the strength in his hand as he muttered,
“You don’t know anything, and yet you....”
