Free Web NovelThe ‘god’ in front of him used ‘desire’ and ‘wish’ interchangeably without distinguishing between them.
Do Yehyun slowly blinked and thought.
All his life, the only thing he had desperately wished for was to resolve the immediate crisis in front of him. When staying alive itself is hard, things like goals naturally disappear.
And the one who had solved that... was none other than Seo Jehyun.
‘Desire.... No, a wish?’
Even with this suspicious being in front of him, his thoughts didn’t stop. He hadn’t tried to think of anything concrete, but the flow of his thoughts still led to a single point.
Seo Jehyun.
Do Yehyun at least knew that this wasn’t just some feeling he had toward his benefactor. He knew Seo Jehyun wasn’t exactly a good guardian either. No, from the start, it was a stretch to even call him a guardian when he wasn’t that much older. No matter that he personally thought of Seo Jehyun as much older than himself.
Was this a crush?
Seo Jehyun often did him favors, but what was contained in them was not pure goodwill.
He’d even thought that if Jehyun would just control and watch over everything, he might actually feel more at ease. Even though, after his life at the Infinite Guild’s shop, he had trauma around surveillance and control.
He was often indifferent, but occasionally meticulous. He rarely asked what dungeon Do Yehyun had gone into, but then he’d suddenly cup his cheeks and ask if it was cold outside—that was especially so.
There were too many actions that weren’t really necessary to say it was all just about efficiency. Maybe this was just him attaching meaning to things.
He’d cut him off before he could even say he liked him, but never ignored it when Yehyun asked him to sleep together. He’d even kissed him and told him to keep liking him, yet he hadn’t seemed particularly desperate.
Do Yehyun knew Seo Jehyun’s kissing habits. He would stroke his cheek with his thumb, then naturally tease around his ear. When their lips met, he stayed still for a while, but before long he would start sucking his tongue hard or lightly biting his lips. Sometimes, a faint vibration of laughter could be felt through their pressed mouths.
Despite what Seo Jehyun had done for him, Do Yehyun often felt strange emotions.
So did he want to be in a relationship?
‘No....’
He liked going on dates and kissing, but more than the satisfaction each act brought, what made him happiest was simply the fact that he was with Seo Jehyun.
When he went into dungeons and came to understand his own abilities, he was happy purely because it felt like Seo Jehyun would recognize that he was useful.
After calmly observing him from up close, he realized there was a limit to Seo Jehyun’s affection anyway.
The way he blocked contact with other people, yet burst out laughing when asked if Yehyun was his weak point....
‘How much does he cherish me?’
A cherished artifact? Or a pet?
Something he would use when needed and put away when not.
Do Yehyun quietly continued his train of thought.
He remembered the moment Seo Jehyun met his eyes and asked him to kill someone in his stead.
‘But I’ve never killed anyone....’
‘.......’
‘What do I do?’
‘.......’
‘Will you kill them for me?’
He couldn’t answer right away. He felt like “okay” would come out too easily.
He felt like he could kill someone. If Seo Jehyun wanted it...... without much hesitation.
His heart pounded so hard that a tight pain spread.
Was that desire?
His thoughts clogged, and his vision briefly blurred. Do Yehyun barely managed to meet the eyes of Jin Haedo right in front of him.
“I can’t really think of anything.”
“That’s impossible.”
Cutting him off at once with a sneer, Jin Haedo sat down comfortably on something. In the brief moment when he closed and opened his eyes, his smile grew deeper.
“I really... can’t think of anything.”
“Then what have you been doing all this time, if not thinking?”
It was blatant mockery, but he couldn’t refute it.
Whether it was from tension since earlier or something else, his heart was pounding so hard that the pain radiated up to his ribs. Unconsciously, Do Yehyun grabbed at his chest. He could feel the vibration in his hand. The pulse sounded clearly in his ears.
Every time he blinked, his vision flickered. Even through his hazy mind, Jin Haedo’s voice seeped in.
“I’ve gotten used to this form, so I don’t really want to change into another one.... But if you want, I can do it for a bit.”
“......”
He understood what that meant in the very next moment.
When he blinked again, the Jin Haedo in front of him shifted into a familiar face.
“No... I don’t, I don’t like this.”
The ‘god’ hopped down from whatever he’d been sitting on and strode over to him. Again, Do Yehyun stepped back once, lifted his head, and naturally met his eyes.
The sharp eyes narrowed slightly, then curved with a smile. The face, unable to hide its dangerous air, pulled the corners of its mouth up like it was finding this situation unbearably entertaining.
“That can’t be true.”
The low, mocking voice dug into his ear.
It was Seo Jehyun. He’d watched the change happen right in front of him, so this was clearly... a lie. A fake wearing Seo Jehyun’s skin. A monster that lived in the dungeon, even if they called it a god.
That god... no, that monster held his cheek like it was familiar, lowered its head, and brought their faces close.
“You have something you want.”
“I’m fine as is.”
“Should I make ‘me’ fall in love with you? It’s a selfish desire, but a common one. Classic, even. I could borrow one of Eros’s arrows.”
“......”
“Or something else? You also want ‘my’ safety. For the purpose of fulfilling your duty. If ‘I’ get hurt, ‘I’ get healed right away, if ‘I’ get sick, ‘I’ stop being sick in an instant.... I could help you find your sense of necessity like that too.”
A low body temperature slowly stroked his cheek. An instinctive revulsion flared up, then vanished quickly.
“How... did you do that?”
“Copying someone’s way of speaking is easy. I can add little differences so you don’t get confused, but there’s no need right now, is there?”
“......”
“Yehyun-ah. ...Do you like it?”
Dropping its hand in an instant, it chuckled in a familiar voice, then slowly erased the expression from its face.
“I don’t believe in pure affection. Who would. You can’t swear your life away on a single act of goodwill ‘I’ showered on you like charity. There’s something else you want.”
It felt like his mind was being driven into a corner. Even when he tried desperately to think, his head just emptied out again. He tried to look away, but his gaze was being held in place and couldn’t stretch anywhere else.
His heart was pounding so hard it made him nauseous. It hurt.
“Even if you say it here... he won’t hear it.”
“Me?”
“Hyung.”
His voice came out small, but apparently it was heard just fine.
To make him love you.... He never wanted something impossible from the start. Then what could he wish for to stay by his side for a long time?
He wished he wouldn’t get hurt. He wished he wouldn’t go to dangerous places, that every possibility of dying would be cut off.
“That’s not it.”
“...It is.”
“Then you’d become useless.”
He was right. Do Yehyun had no offensive skills, and no proper defensive skills either. All he could do was heal others... basically function as a high-quality potion.
If Seo Jehyun never got hurt, that too would lose its meaning.
‘Then do I want hyung to get hurt?’
Maybe, a little....
“You want him to get hurt just enough for you to heal him? Your desire’s too simple.” fгeewebnovёl.com
“......”
“You cling to ‘me’ like this because ‘I’ saved you in the first place. You owe ‘me’ your life. No, more than your life... maybe something greater?”
“......”
“‘I’ didn’t just rescue you, did I.”
His raging heartbeat spat everything out and left a single desire behind.
“Then I...”
“Yeah, you?”
His mouth wouldn’t open, like someone had forced it shut. Maybe it was because of the last bit of guilt left.
When he hesitated to the very end, the presence right in front of him reached out again. It cupped his cheek in that familiar way, thumb slowly stroking down. Goosebumps crawled up his back.
“Why? Not going to say any more.”
“......”
“I don’t like that.”
It was amazing it could imitate him this perfectly.
Knowing full well the one before him was fake, Do Yehyun still opened his mouth like he was under a spell.
“I want hyung... to owe me his life.”
“......”
“I want to save hyung.”
Once he started talking, the words spilled out without pause.
“Sometimes I think I want to control him. It’s fine if he gets hurt. I can heal him. But it’s hard when he goes somewhere away from me and comes back hurt. If he dies like that... it’s too unfair, for me.”
“Mm. And?”
“Sometimes I thought I wanted to lock him up. I saw him badly hurt once... he looked like he was going to die.”
“Yeah?”
When Do Yehyun nodded, ‘Seo Jehyun’ curved his lips into a smile. It was clearly a soft smile, with no sharp edges, yet it kept feeling dangerous. Maybe because he knew the true nature hiding behind it.
‘Seo Jehyun’ quietly watched him and asked:
“But how are you going to save me?”
It wasn’t just a question about his skills. ‘How’, he’d said.
To find the answer ‘Seo Jehyun’ wanted, Do Yehyun hesitated for a moment. But no suitable answer came to mind. When he finally did speak, his answer felt a bit clumsy.
“Somehow...”
After giving an answer ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) that sounded like he had no plan at all, he looked up at ‘Seo Jehyun’. ‘Seo Jehyun’ let out a short laugh, like he’d been waiting for exactly those words.
A moment later, ‘Seo Jehyun’ lowered his head slightly and whispered in Do Yehyun’s ear.
“Then I’ll... have to help you.”
Right after that, in the shoulder ‘Seo Jehyun’ was grabbing, he felt a pain like it was on fire.
