Free Web NovelProbably because he had been avoiding him lately.
Ren had thought Luman was simply busy, since he had barely been able to see him. But when they happened to run into each other in the garden, he realized it.
Luman was avoiding him.
It had not been obvious. He still met Ren’s eyes just fine, still smiled at him, and nothing about him seemed different from usual, but for some reason, Ren felt it. Luman was avoiding him.
Wanting to check, Ren had deliberately gone looking for him a few times. He had managed to see him, but only briefly, and Luman kept using work as an excuse. Ren hated the one-sided feeling of clinging to him, so he soon stopped going to him.
Fortunately, before Ren could become hurt and angry, he met the old apothecary and found somewhere to pour his heart, so the emotional rift did not deepen.
Ah. It’s been a really long time......
It felt like he was looking at him properly.
Luman had certainly never avoided his eyes, and yet Ren felt as though they were facing each other for the first time in a very long while. It felt good enough to ease the sulky knot in his heart, but Luman was still so annoying.
Ren jutted out his lips and quietly glared at him......
And in an instant, Luman’s eyes grew wet.
“Wh-what, wait......!”
Flustered, Ren stammered and reached toward Luman’s eyes. Luman looked puzzled. Without even realizing it himself, he took Ren’s hand very carefully and pressed it to the corner of his eye.
A tear fell with a soft plop and gathered on Ren’s finger.
“......!”
“Lu......!”
Luman’s face flushed bright red.
It happened in an instant, like fire catching on dry fallen leaves, before either of them could do anything. Feeling his skin burn hot, Luman sprang up from his seat. Then, before Ren could stop him, he bolted out of the room.
“Luman! Aaaagh!”
Thud!
Ren fell again, just like before. He had forgotten that Luman had set him on the bed without unwrapping him from the blanket. After falling to the floor and flailing while calling Luman’s name, Ren only managed to escape from the blanket with the attendant’s help.
***
“......”
Having climbed up the outer wall of the building and onto the castle roof, Luman clenched his fist.
Tears? What tears?
As if completely unaware of Luman’s state of mind, the weather was exceptionally clear today. A blue sky stretched overhead, and huge white clouds without a single dark speck filled it. It looked as though someone had brought over the scenery of a peaceful village from a fairy tale exactly as it was. Luman’s heart, unlike the scenery, was not peaceful in the least.
His face burned.
Luman had never dreamed he would suddenly cry like that, and in front of young Ren of all people.
For his face to heat up so quickly he could not control it.
And they had not even exchanged more than a few words.
“You idiot!”
Luman berated himself and brought his fist down. When he pulled his fist away, debris from the outer wall crumbled and scattered.
He had stayed up all night organizing what he would say to Ren, and yet Luman had not managed to say a single one of the things he had prepared. Ah, no, he had conveyed one sincere thing. The words “I’m sorry.”
“I have no right to criticize Temar. They say men become idiots in front of beauty. Is this what they meant?”
Yes, perhaps this was because Ren was beautiful. Luman tried desperately to rationalize his own pathetic behavior.
Not even managing to explain why he was sorry and only speaking vaguely. Was that not too cowardly, too pitiful? How had the stylish gentleman Luman ended up in this state?
It was because Ren was beautiful after all.
Luman could not forget the feeling from just now.
The day he had seen Ren swaying on the balcony. Luman had been terrified. The thought, “I may lose Ren someday,” had struck him like lightning, and Luman had been swallowed by fear, unable to bring himself to look at Ren at all.
The sight of Ren swaying and nearly falling from the balcony. The day he had collapsed clutching his heart. The sight of him in the shelter, taking the spear Luman held from his hand. The sight of him offering his heart in another’s place. Those memories shifted from scene to scene and gnawed at Luman with such persistence that he wondered how he had managed to forget them until now.
Luman felt as if he would lose his reason. If he saw Ren like that even one more time, he felt he would snap like Temar, lose all judgment, and kill everyone.
Gladly. More than gladly.
He would not regret it in the slightest.
Even if his honor was thrown into the gutter and he lost everything he had, Luman would not care. Because what mattered to him now was no longer gold coins, but Ren. Everything else, except for him, was only a faint loyalty to the royal castle and pity for Ragniel.
That was why he had avoided him.
He had felt as if he could not bear it. Not his own emotions, not the memories and fear that surfaced when he looked at Ren.
And yet.
......How ridiculous.
He had thought anxiety would strangle his heart, that he would keep repeating the most horrifying imaginings as if preparing himself against the pain of loss. But as if that pain and anguish had been nothing but a nightmare, they melted away like snow.
Yes, like snow. Without leaving a single trace. As if Luman’s imaginings had only been a haze of confusion.
The faintly shimmering sunlight swayed beneath the curtains, and the carpet warmed by the fireplace softly wrapped around his knees. On the wide bed, his face, bundled tightly in an expensive blanket, had been clean and clear.
And his two eyes.
The moment Luman stared into those eyes, clear as an early-summer forest where a gentle breeze was blowing. The moment Ren held only him inside them, Luman felt as if......
As if he had been saved.
It felt as though he could hear the joy of life from him.
The sensation of every cell in his body awakening, when Ren’s figure entered his eyes as if imprinting itself there. Luman felt a shudder run through him.
He felt a joy he had never felt in all the decades he had lived. More than all the years he had passed through until now, Luman felt most alive in that brief moment just now.
As if an angel had come to a life soaked in blood.
That sounds insane.
If he himself could not understand it, how could anyone else?
They would only point at him and say he had gone completely mad. Was it not absurd? Could something like that be explained by a single moment of eye contact?
But many things in the world could not be explained. The Hero’s authority was one of them, and so was Luman’s love.
He already loved him. He loved him so much there was nothing more he could do about it. He had struggled to acknowledge that feeling, had dared to give it a name, and had even revealed it to another person.
“And I can fall for him again like this?”
Would he ever feel this sensation again in this lifetime, this trembling shiver as if his whole body were crying?
Luman seemed to have become Ren’s prisoner beyond any hope of escape.
***
“Do I really have to wear this?”
“Yes. His Majesty said it is an important dinner. Even if it’s uncomfortable, please endure it for just a little while.”
Ren closed his mouth, saying he understood.
He was changing into the clothes he would wear to the evening banquet.
Even after entering the royal castle, Ren’s clothing had only become more luxurious in fabric; the style itself had not changed much from what he had worn before. Because Ren’s comfort had been taken into consideration, no one had forced him into something cumbersome that followed proper etiquette. It was not as if the nobles and attendants attending the royal council had said absolutely nothing, but with matters being what they were, it seemed they were moderately overlooking such minor issues.
Even so, it could not be allowed at a formal banquet.
“There’s too much.”
“That is because it is formal attire.”
The attendant maintained a firm expression from beginning to end. As if worried Ren would throw a tantrum and refuse to wear it, the gentle attitude he usually showed was gone. Looking at his stiff face and tightly pressed lips, Ren decided not to speak to him anymore.
Like a doll, he let them dress him in five or six layers of clothing, he could not tell which, and pushed his feet into new shoes. He thought it might be over, but apparently it was not. Ren was dragged in front of a dressing table he had not even known was there and made to be adorned.
A heavy necklace was placed around his neck, and rings and bracelets appeared on his hands and wrists. Once they had applied a faint powder and even finished the makeup, a knock sounded. freёwebnoѵel.com
“He is ready.”
The attendants took their hands off Ren and stepped back. Ren looked into the mirror with an awkward expression. His own face was clearly reflected there, yet it felt unfamiliar. His darkly painted brows, and his skin, yellowed by powder mixed to hide his pallor. Rather than looking lively, he looked like a doll dressed up in splendor.
Rare fabrics and ornaments he probably could not afford even if he saved money his entire life glittered on him.
No matter how he looked at it, it was too much. Honestly, if he had acted according to his personality, he would have thrown off everything he was wearing and run out, refusing to change clothes in the first place.
But Temar and Luman’s positions were at stake, so Ren could not do that. Also, he was grateful to Geloman for finding the old man for him, so it would be shameless to cause a scene.
Still, this is too much!
“Ren.”
The low voice was quiet, but Ren knew at once whose voice it was.
It was Temar.
Since the old man had arrived, Ren had spent all his time with him, so it had been quite a while. Only then did Ren realize several days had passed since he had seen Temar’s face.
Ren sprang up and ran to the door. Because the hem of his clothes was long, he nearly tripped, barely managed to catch his balance, and flung the door open.
“Brother!”
“......Ren.”
Temar’s pupils widened in surprise, then narrowed again.
Whether he was surprised by Ren’s appearance, which he had never seen before, or by Ren calling him so happily after so long, there was no way to know.
As if they had returned to the time when the two of them lived alone in the shack.
The ringing call in his ears filled him with such gladness that Temar’s chest ached for an instant.
Had he been missing something terribly important all this time?
It felt as though someone had asked him that. No, had he already heard this question before?
“Sir Temar. You must depart.”
The attendant woke him from where he stood still.
“Let’s go, Ren.”
“Okay.”
Ren answered lightly and took Temar’s hand. That hot hand, full of calluses, flinched for an instant. Then, as if trying to hide him, it gripped Ren’s hand tightly. This suffocating pressure seemed to reassure Ren, and his expression softened.
“The old apothecary is here, Ren.”
“Yeah. You have to greet him too. You haven’t?!”
Ren stopped in place and tugged at him.
“I’ll do it today.”
“Tch.”
Ren whipped his head away. Still, as if Temar’s obedient answer pleased him, the corners of his mouth twitched.
“This is the first time since we came to the royal castle.”
“The first time?”
His voice was so gentle it made Ren’s ears tickle. But Temar’s expression had sunk heavily. It was the face of someone crushed beneath some worry. Ren, however, was looking straight ahead, so he could not see Temar’s expression.
As they stepped over the red carpet stretching down the long corridor, Ren spoke brightly, without even guessing what news would soon come.
“Eating with you.”
